Are you tired of receiving bad birthday gifts from your friends and partner? Are you tired of giving fake smiles when your wishlist for the year is completely ignored? Here are ten ways to put an end to getting horrible birthday gifts.

Shoot them

Preferably with a water gun — except you’re willing to spend your next birthday eating prison beans. Then, by all means, fire away. Either way, everyone will get the message to buckle up next time.

Forget their birthday

Pettiness is the only way forward in life. But if you’re too sweet for that, sha buy them a really cheap gift when their turn comes. Anyone that gives you nonsense should collect nonsense too my dear.

Avoid them like a plague

Since no one knows what you like after all the years of talking to them, avoid them. Let bad energy stay away from you.

Be passive-aggressive

Take the silent treatment a step forward and drag them in the mud. Anything passive-aggressive to let them know they fucked up your big day is a must. 

QUIZ: How Petty Are You?

Re-sell the gift online

Preferably a thrift shop they use. When they see it while they’re casually scrolling online, they’ll get the message. Make sure they’re home when you’re re-wrapping their gift for delivery.

Re-gift them their gift

An eye for an eye, a nose for a nose — you get the drill. Those words should be your daily affirmation this year.

Ask them what they take you for

Because why? Get to the root of the problem. Maybe your friends are really clueless about what you’d love as a gift. 

RELATED: 5 Nigerians on Receiving Expensive Gifts They Couldn’t Sustain

Save it for a future fight

Take time to plot your revenge. After all, they say revenge is best served cold. So bring it up 10 years later in a totally unrelated conversation.


What if all the years of bad gifts are a result of your village people? Maybe they found you, stole your friends and have been masquerading as the people you love. Just think about it.

I don’t know about the men, but if you want to make a Nigerian woman happy, here are Six Ways to Celebrate Her Birthday



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.