10 Ways to Make Sure You Never Receive a Bad Birthday Gift

July 21, 2022

Are you tired of receiving bad birthday gifts from your friends and partner? Are you tired of giving fake smiles when your wishlist for the year is completely ignored? Here are ten ways to put an end to getting horrible birthday gifts.

Shoot them

Preferably with a water gun — except you’re willing to spend your next birthday eating prison beans. Then, by all means, fire away. Either way, everyone will get the message to buckle up next time.

Forget their birthday

Pettiness is the only way forward in life. But if you’re too sweet for that, sha buy them a really cheap gift when their turn comes. Anyone that gives you nonsense should collect nonsense too my dear.

Avoid them like a plague

Since no one knows what you like after all the years of talking to them, avoid them. Let bad energy stay away from you.

Be passive-aggressive

Take the silent treatment a step forward and drag them in the mud. Anything passive-aggressive to let them know they fucked up your big day is a must. 

QUIZ: How Petty Are You?

Re-sell the gift online

Preferably a thrift shop they use. When they see it while they’re casually scrolling online, they’ll get the message. Make sure they’re home when you’re re-wrapping their gift for delivery.

Re-gift them their gift

An eye for an eye, a nose for a nose — you get the drill. Those words should be your daily affirmation this year.

Ask them what they take you for

Because why? Get to the root of the problem. Maybe your friends are really clueless about what you’d love as a gift. 

RELATED: 5 Nigerians on Receiving Expensive Gifts They Couldn’t Sustain

Save it for a future fight

Take time to plot your revenge. After all, they say revenge is best served cold. So bring it up 10 years later in a totally unrelated conversation.

Pray

What if all the years of bad gifts are a result of your village people? Maybe they found you, stole your friends and have been masquerading as the people you love. Just think about it.

I don’t know about the men, but if you want to make a Nigerian woman happy, here are Six Ways to Celebrate Her Birthday

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

January 8, 2020

All your life you have struggled with saving money and being financially independent? Every year, you make resolutions to improve but you give up midway and revert to your old ways. If this sounds like you worry no more, we have four not so difficult steps to guide you on the road to monetary freedom. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 13, 2022

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old queer woman who owns half a dozen sex toys and wants more. She talks about her sex toy curiosity, the trial and errors before she found the perfect ones and how she navigates sex with people. 

Recommended Quizzes

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X