Let’s start with the background gist: On Twitter, someone asked people to tell everyone their 2021 wins. There was the usual replies of getting a job and falling in love, etc etc. But then someone tweeted that they increased their salary 23x times.

This was all of us when we saw that tweet:

shock | Zikoko!

YOUR SALARY INCREASED 23 TIMES?? Are you sure it’s not 2 or 3 times you meant to type, sir? But we got over our shock and decided to improve ourselves too. And after an intense session of thinking about our lives and careers in this life of sin, we have finally come up with ways to increase our salary 23 times, and more than that.

Come along with us on this journey to financial liberation.

1. First of all, know that it is impossible.

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If you’re with a Nigerian employer, increasing your salary times 23x can never ever happen. It’s not like we are cursing you oh, but shebi you know how things happen in these streets.

2. Quit your job.

If you don’t quit the job that is paying you small money, how do you hope to get a better one? Before you secure the bag, you must learn to let one bag go so you can make room for another.

3. And if you don’t want to quit your job, use your boss for money rituals.

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If they won’t pay you what you want want, you better be ready to use them to get it. Remember the saying, “Use what you have to get what you want.” In this case, your boss is what you have and that’s who you will use to get it.

4. Start typing HTML everyday.

One day, that HTML will turn to money. It’s the coding bitcoin law of financial eth and javascript ifenile kponkwem. 🙏🏾

5. Buy attraction oil and divine favour soap.

After you collect your competitive salary, use the money to invest in attraction oil and divine favour soap. It is this purchase of yours that will attract the 23X salary to you. If you don’t believe us, ask those who have been using the oil. Do you think they work 9-5? Please. They are attracting tingsss.

6. Seduce Dangote.

This is one way to seal your salary. Once you buy the attraction oil and divine favour soap, just secure a meeting with Dangote at a Benz dealership and seduce him. 50X salary loading.

7. Open an OnlyFans account.

Start free, and when you have amassed a large following, you will increase prices. If they like your nakedness, they will stay. What this means is that you have to put in the work oh. This is not ideal if you don’t like hardwork.

8. Start doing whocup.

If you don’t want the internet to see your nakedness, you can just do a door-to-delivery. That one even pays more, especially if you deliver it hot and spicy, with a dash of street flavour.

9. If these things don’t work, start selling akara.

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You are guaranteed to make over ₦30k per day, especially if you sell in these 10 places we mentioned here: 10 Places To Make Over ₦30k Per Day From Selling Akara.

10. And if akara selling doesn’t fit your destiny, invest in these 9 things.

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We have carefully curated the investment options for you, and they are sure to bring you profit. Imagine investing in Titus sardine. Tituscurrency! Buy the dip and hodl. We must 100x our salary in this 2020.

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