Meet The Nigerian Lady Who Regrets Not Taking Runs Seriously

August 10, 2020

Today, I spoke to a lady who regrets not taking runs seriously.

How did you get to this point?

When I came to Abuja in 2018  for my NYSC, I stayed with my aunt.  Just before the end of my service year, I got a job with a slightly okay pay. I was excited about the possibilities until my aunt kicked me out of her house.

Say what now?

When I told her about the job, I literally watched the light leave her eyes. A few weeks later, she told me she was travelling and wanted to lock her house so I should prepare to leave. She actually told my mom before she told me. I was helpless. It hurt more because she’s actually related to me by blood and isn’t just a family friend.

I’m sorry. What did you do next?

Honestly, It threw me off because I thought I’d finally get a chance to start my life and do better things for myself. I started an immediate search for a place to stay. There was a guy who liked me; he was doing very well for himself, I told him about my situation and he offered me his place as an option.

Was your mother okay with this?

I didn’t tell her. I knew she wouldn’t want me living with a man so I lied that a friend offered me a space in his guest house. She bought the story and I started living with this friend. I stayed with him for 2 months.

What was that like?

I was being monitored and I wasn’t allowed to have friends over at all. He didn’t like the fact that I insisted on staying in the second bedroom in the house. He had expected me to stay in his room. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for a place to stay, but I didn’t appreciate the other things he did like randomly grabbing my breast or touching my butt or telling his friends that I was his girlfriend. This is someone that I wasn’t even considering as a dating prospect and I wouldn’t have looked his way at all but life comes at you fast.

How did you become a sugar baby?

After living with him for 2 months, he saw that I refused to have sex with him and that I wasn’t responding positively to his advances, so he switched up. When I told him I was getting my own place soon, he started acting out. One day, he told me his babe was coming from Lagos and asked when I was leaving.  I had to stay with a friend while trying to raise money for my house. By then, I had been meeting up with other people, trying to solicit help so I could get my own place. My first sugar daddy was a man I met when living at my aunt’s place. My aunt was also a sugar baby so she had a lot of rich men come to her house and this one picked interest in me and got my number.

What was the relationship like?

Initially, he started out being so helpful with no strings attached, he didn’t act like he was interested in me that way. I got gifts and money from him from time to time until one day he asked me to come to a hotel. That was when I knew what was up. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything with him but I knew that If I didn’t do something, the money and gifts would stop so I gave him a blow job. I hated myself afterwards. I continued seeing him even though he made his intentions clear that he wanted to make me his second wife but wanted to sleep with me first. I perfected the art of giving blowjobs so I wouldn’t have to sleep with him.

So, you were a sugar baby without giving sugar?

Yes. Something like that. I was totally repelled by him. I didn’t sleep with him because I was disgusted by him. I never stated this to his face but all these played a factor. However, he kept coming back. Even when I moved into my new place, I had to tell him that I wouldn’t sleep with him and the most I would do was a blowjob. I always felt disgusted after. 

So, You didn’t take on more partners? 

I actually did. I started seeing other men but I made it clear that I wasn’t going to have sex with them. My hesitation came from the fact that I am a feminist and I don’t like being objectified but I figured that everyone has their cross to bear and this is mine. Over the months though, I toughened up and told myself that I will treat being a sugar baby like a side hustle. I might not like it but I have to do it to survive. My job pays me next to nothing and sometimes my salary finishes in the first week but I somehow manage to pull through.

You mentioned being a feminist

Yes. I am. It makes doing this harder because I want to be more for myself. I don’t intend to keep doing this for long. I am only maintaining these relationships with hopes that if an opportunity comes up, I’d be remembered and considered and that would push me to the next level in my life. Also, I regret not taking runs seriously last year because I felt it made me a bad person. So even when I kept meeting big people, I wasn’t willing to play the game. Now, I understand that you have to weaponise what these men like about you to get what you want.

Anything else you want to add?

Yes. I have come to learn that life is “give and take”. Men don’t do anything out of charity, there’s always a motive. Understand their motives and use it to get what you want. Secondly, do not judge others for the decision that life forced them to make. We are all just trying to survive.  

For more stories like this, click here.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 14, 2021

Infertility is something Nigerian women sometimes struggle with. With a lot of importance placed on women’s ability to have children, what happens when you cannot? Four Nigerian women share their individual struggles with infertility. Kemi My sister is 40, and has been trying for a baby for about ten years. I think few years into […]

Women Stories 2020
December 30, 2020

This year, we documented a wide range of experiences from women of all backgrounds. In today’s What She Said, we highlight some of these stories. From the divorcee dating again to the first-class law graduate, these are stories of women living life on their own terms — our 2020 must-reads! 1. What She Said: What […]

August 13, 2020

Every woman knows the pain of selecting an outfit for the day and having that outfit backstab them in one way or another. Here are 6 pieces of clothes that consistently betray women. Bras For clothes that were made to support women, bras have turned to the dark side by acting as a constriction device.  […]


Now on Zikoko

December 3, 2022

Dear Nigerians, the moment you’ve been waiting for has finally arrived. The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has officially announced the date for Permanent Voter’s Card (PVC) collection. When’s the collection?  INEC has given us exactly five weeks for PVC collection — from December 12, 2022 to January 22, 2023.  But Nigerians aren’t too pleased […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Her


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.