Have you ever wondered what women are up to when they’re just in their homes alone and nobody is watching? Well, here are eight of the things they get to do when they’re free from judging eyes.

1) Put their breasts on the table

When they are working on tables and there’s nobody to be a monitoring spirit, they plop their breasts on the table for extra support. Life is hard, and carrying breasts on your chest every day doesn’t make life any easier.

2) Wear the comfy and unattractive underwear

Not all the time laces and strings. When nobody’s around, they wear cotton underwear that probably has bleach stains and holes. It’s about comfort, not style.

3) Drink wine straight from the bottle

Glasses are for people trying to pretend they’re in a civilised society. When it’s just you and your house, the wine is straight from the bottle.

4) Scratch and sniff

Vaginas can be very weird and funny, so sometimes sniff checks are necessary. It’s not because you’re dirty. Sometimes, you just want to know what is going on in the body system. So, the scratch and sniff is very useful. You might even be able to tell what time you are in your cycle by how you smell.

5) Use their breast as a heaters for their palms

When women are cold and in the comfort of their own space, they tend to be as comfortable as possible. Who has the strength in this economy to try to turn on heaters or wear gloves because your palms are cold? Especially when you’re already comfortable on the bed. Why not just use the heaters on your chest?

6) Pick nose

We all do it. So nobody even has to pretend. When nobody is watching, you can finally get rid of all those boogers that have been making you sneeze. Go ahead.

7) Wear THE Shirt

The shirt is the most comfortable piece of clothing a woman owns. It’s not just any shirt, it is THE shirt. They will wear it about six days out of the week, and it’s only worn in situations of maximum comfort. It might be an ex’s shirt or their dad’s, but nothing can separate a woman from THE shirt. It might have holes and stains, but it’s with them for life.

8) Be naked

If they’re not wearing the shirt. they’re stripping to their birthday suit where their body can just breathe without the need to live up to societal standards of beauty. Just them, their fupa, stretch marks, and vibes.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.