4 Nigerian Women Discuss Leaving Heterosexual Relationships To Date Women

June 2, 2021

This article shares stories of women who have experienced both sides of love and relationships and have chosen what makes them feel the happiest . These women share their stories of leaving heterosexual relationships to date women. Here are their stories:


I always dated and was sexually active with both men and women at the same time. I never put a tag on it or thought I was a lesbian and I was suffering while dating men. The relationship was very abusive but I had put a time frame for marriage and I went on with the relationship.

I started seeing someone else as a way to escape the abuse as a power reclaim move, this new person was the first man I had ever been willingly sexual with.

Eventually, I realized I didn’t enjoy having sex with men. Luckily for me, I met his best friend, a babe. I felt an instant attraction to her. Being with her was the seal I needed to realize I only want to date women moving forward. I have enjoyed making that decision.


I was married for two years and he was narcissistic and abusive. Even then always knew I liked girls too and I had dated a girl while I was in university. I married my ex-husband because I thought he was a good Christian and we could build a good life together.

My marriage had been over for two years before I started dating again, the relationship I got into after leaving him was very toxic and triggering and made me go back to therapy. I am all fine now and in a new relationship, we are both growing and know what we want. She is the yin to my yang. I will rate it 9- the other one is because we are both stubborn.

To Cater To Women, Sex Tech Founders Need To Listen To Lesbians


I was seeing two guys at the same time, I would not call it dating but I referred to both of them as baby. The first one who I’ll call M repulsed me, I could never get myself to kiss him no matter what and the second guy also irritated me sometimes. I don’t remember the moment of awakening I experienced, I just started finding women attractive and knew I wanted that.

The first time I fell in love with a girl I knew I had lucked out, every minute I spent with her was the best part of my day but I was still seeing the guys. I was constantly verbally abused by M. He was constantly saying things to me that made me uncomfortable about my body, but I kept up with it for appearances.

The first proper relationship that I acknowledged was with a woman and it was perfect. I guess I realize the reason I was so averse to labelling whatever I had with those men was that I never wanted to actually date men. Those two men helped me know that dating men wasn’t for me.

Animated gif about gif in BLESBIANS 🤘🏾 by Jules


I have always been with men even when I found women insanely attractive, I never acted on it. I didn’t think I was ever going to like women or move to a woman and tell her how I felt even when I had stopped enjoying sex with men. One of the times I was seeing a guy, I told him I might be bi-curious and it must have been a fetish for him. He constantly brought it up and asked if I wanted to have threesomes. I honestly was not interested in it.

While still seeing him, I met a babe who I found really attractive. We went out a couple of time and I started to like her. Told her I liked her and she said she liked me too, it was my first time moving to a woman romantically. It has not worked out yet, but one thing I know for sure is that I am done with men, bi-curious or not. 

Check this out for more queer centered stories.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Letters to her
March 18, 2022

“Whenever we fought, I’d make up my mind to come to you, but you’d beat me to it.” In this letter #toHER, Kachi writes to her friend, Evelyn. She writes about their beautiful moments together, but she’s forgotten something that haunts her.

February 3, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 40-year-old woman. She talks about losing custody of her kids after an abusive marriage, travelling the world and how her dad’s love for food led her to start a confectionery company. If someone was meeting you for the first time, what would you tell them […]

Nigerian women celebrating Ileya.
July 20, 2021

Ileya, also called Eid-el Kabir or ram Sallah is a great time to connect with family and friends over juicy pieces of fried ram. As with other things, women have a specific experience of Ileya that is often missing from the conversation. In this article, eight Nigerian women talk about celebrating Ileya.  Farida, 26  I’ve […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Her

What She Said: I Hate the Word “Disabled”
December 7, 2022

This week’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 49-year-old Nigerian woman who lost a leg after an okada accident. She talks about waking up to find a stump where her leg used to be, what it’s like to lose a limb and what she thinks about how people treat amputees.


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.