Wise Words For Your Friday Flex, Courtesy Nigerian Politicians.

April 26, 2019

Now the week is over, Friday rocks are drawing nigh! Congratulations on surviving five days of cursing alarm clocks, beating traffic to get to work on time and sneaking out successfully before the close of day.

As it’s the start of the weekend (and salary week), you might be wondering if the week’s accomplishments call for a night of debauchery and raising hands with a bunch of strangers in a much too crowded open-floor plan. To help you make your decision, we called upon certain Nigerian politicians to employ their life philosophies to guide your decision making. Pick your choice.

There’s Rice At Home – Bashir Ahmad

You mean Nigeria is producing all this rice Abbah exaggerated about and you’re still going out to club? What is this life please?

Ajeku iya ni o je – Dino Melaye

Are you still owing Escape from last month, but plotting how you’ll shut down Quilox later tonight? Mr Melaye has a word for you. If you’re wondering what this translates to, it means, “the bottom of suffering is what you’ll get”. Trust me, that’s not a good thing.

I am not one of them – Jimi Agbaje

Do you want to be like everyone spending their Fridays drunk and disorderly? It could never be Jimi.

Live within your means – President Bubucakes

He literally said this one too. Don’t spend your Friday outdoing the next guy, slay in your financial lane.

Lol, or not – Again, President Bubucakes.

Go hard or go home.

Step up in the club in two bullion vans – Bola ‘RicherThanYourNext’ Tinubu

If you’re doing it, do it big. That is all.

Buy Nigerian to grow the naira – Senator Ben Murray Bruce

Now, nobody said you shouldn’t go clubbing, but make sure to do it for Nigeria’s progress. That said, if your bottle of Hennessey has “Made in Nigeria” inscribed at the bottom, we’re going to need you to take ten steps back from it.

We will not take it – Godsday Orubebe.

Godsday Orubebe has a word for you this fine Friday, and we’re inclined to second him. You mean you survived this whole week, battled traffic to get to work on time, met your deadlines and still won’t go out to celebrate? Sorry, but that ain’t right.

And remember, All your sins are forgiven – Adams Oshiomole

You might not be a party defector, but whatever happens on Friday night (with consent) stays in Friday night. Go and sin no more.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 23, 2020

It’s official. Going forward, life is going to be divided into pre-corona and post-corona times. The world has never experienced and hopefully will never experience anything quite like this virus, which has so far affected around 351 000 people. Which is why we’re feeling more than a little appreciative and kind of nostalgic of all […]

November 12, 2020

Lately, Nigerian courts seem to be issuing a lot of ex parte orders. On November 6, the Central Bank of Nigeria obtained an ex parte court order freezing the accounts of 20 individuals and public affairs companies linked to the #EndSARS protests. The CBN was able to freeze the accounts of 20 #EndSARS campaigners after […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Citizen

December 24, 2021

Abroad Life tells the stories of Nigerians who japa’d, but many times, the stories have a shocking twist.

From jaw-dropping stories of grand-scale internet fraud to heartbreaking stories of family betrayal, these are the top 10 most-read Abroad Life stories of 2021.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X