Wise Words For Your Friday Flex, Courtesy Nigerian Politicians.

April 26, 2019

Now the week is over, Friday rocks are drawing nigh! Congratulations on surviving five days of cursing alarm clocks, beating traffic to get to work on time and sneaking out successfully before the close of day.

As it’s the start of the weekend (and salary week), you might be wondering if the week’s accomplishments call for a night of debauchery and raising hands with a bunch of strangers in a much too crowded open-floor plan. To help you make your decision, we called upon certain Nigerian politicians to employ their life philosophies to guide your decision making. Pick your choice.

There’s Rice At Home – Bashir Ahmad

You mean Nigeria is producing all this rice Abbah exaggerated about and you’re still going out to club? What is this life please?

Ajeku iya ni o je – Dino Melaye

Are you still owing Escape from last month, but plotting how you’ll shut down Quilox later tonight? Mr Melaye has a word for you. If you’re wondering what this translates to, it means, “the bottom of suffering is what you’ll get”. Trust me, that’s not a good thing.

I am not one of them – Jimi Agbaje

Do you want to be like everyone spending their Fridays drunk and disorderly? It could never be Jimi.

Live within your means – President Bubucakes

He literally said this one too. Don’t spend your Friday outdoing the next guy, slay in your financial lane.

Lol, or not – Again, President Bubucakes.

Go hard or go home.

Step up in the club in two bullion vans – Bola ‘RicherThanYourNext’ Tinubu

If you’re doing it, do it big. That is all.

Buy Nigerian to grow the naira – Senator Ben Murray Bruce

Now, nobody said you shouldn’t go clubbing, but make sure to do it for Nigeria’s progress. That said, if your bottle of Hennessey has “Made in Nigeria” inscribed at the bottom, we’re going to need you to take ten steps back from it.

We will not take it – Godsday Orubebe.

Godsday Orubebe has a word for you this fine Friday, and we’re inclined to second him. You mean you survived this whole week, battled traffic to get to work on time, met your deadlines and still won’t go out to celebrate? Sorry, but that ain’t right.

And remember, All your sins are forgiven – Adams Oshiomole

You might not be a party defector, but whatever happens on Friday night (with consent) stays in Friday night. Go and sin no more.

Boyin Plumptre

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