We Have Some Theories About The Ministerial List Delay.

July 15, 2019

For someone who outwardly appears to hate the moniker “Baba Go-Slow”, our President Bubucakes is doing the most to prove how very fitting the reference is.

Despite our president taking his sweet time with many projects (electricity, security, any other -itys really), the issue for today lies in his hard-to-understand delay in nominating ministers to handle the many sectors Nigeria’s problems are divided into.

For context, it’s now almost five months since the President became aware that he would be manning Nigeria’s reins for the next four years and two months since he was inaugurated to carry out the second term. Despite this, we still have no minister’s shirt to hold when our transformers go off for two months without warning. Never mind the fact that other countries like Greece, Senegal and Mali had ministers up and running within the first few days of the inauguration of their presidencies.

To try to make sense of the current situation, we came up with a number of theories to explain the President’s tardiness in appointing ministers. One of them is bound to be correct:

He forgot it wasn’t 1984 and he actually needs ministers to run a government.

Who else has forgotten they are no longer in a dictatorship and actually need ministers in a democratic set-up? Happens to the best of us. Here’s hoping he remembers quickly.

Maybe he wrote it down and couldn’t read his writing? We’ve had that happen before you know.

He’s probably too embarrassed to admit he can’t read his own writing (I know I’d be). Here’s to whipping up a new list really soon Bubs.

Perhaps he’s taking all his potential ministers on dates to make sure he likes them.

In his words, “I didn’t know some of the ministers I appointed in 2015”. To make sure to avoid that, he had a spreadsheet created over the course of five-months, mapping out special dates, an obstacle course and an “How well do you know Buhari” questionnaire for each potential ministerial candidate.

Never mind the fact that his appointments should be based on ability and not likability or friendship ties. If this theory is correct, we’re sure they’re just about wrapping up the selection process and we’ll be chock full of ministers in no time.

…Or, or, could he be attempting to break his previous record?

Hear us out, the last time Buhari had to nominate ministers, it took him all of six months to accomplish. What if, perhaps, maybe he’s simply trying to one-up himself with an even lengthier ministerial nomination period?

Look, a record is a record, is a record, okay?

This seems like an awfully long shot, but maybe the delay is due to previous ministers incessant lobbying and opportunistic Nigerians attempting to break into government?

Like say previous governors looking for the next leg up in their careers and former ministers stalking Buhari at the airport, looking to make sure they are remembered when it comes to appointment time.

Even though this seems like the most unlikely reason, as it will entail the appointment of more politicians as opposed to much-needed technocrats, it will explain (poorly), why this delay seems to be never-ending.

Then again, it seems a little too far fetched. What do you think is causing the delay?

Boyin Plumptre

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