How to Punish Corrupt Nigerian Politicians, Since Imprisonment Isn’t Working

May 19, 2022

Nigerian politicians are good at two things: making promises they cannot keep and helping themselves to slices of the national cake that don’t belong to them. 

The latest star attraction for corruption is the Accountant-General of the Federation, Ahmed Idris, who’s accused of fraud to the tune of ₦80 billion.

That’s a lot of zeros.

Corruption has been going on for far too long in Nigeria, and not enough offenders even end up in prison. Without the fear of consequences, stealing from the country’s treasury will never stop. So, maybe the problem is that we’re not getting creative enough with the punishments for offenders. 

We have some nice alternatives to consider. 

Walk of Shame boards

How to Punish Corrupt Nigerian Politicians

We know Nigerian politicians are shameless but a child who won’t let his mother sleep will also have no sleep. Convicted thieves should be made to walk around with placards around their necks. This way, everyone they meet can immediately know to hide their valuables.

Listen to songs by Nollywood actors on loop forever

How to Punish Corrupt Nigerian Politicians

Whoever violates Nigeria’s treasury should be made to face the music. When you lock up one or two offenders in a room and make them listen to Tonto Dike’s catalogue of torture porn songs, for example, we expect others to learn.

Mop the Lagos lagoon

Mopping the lagoon is an impossible and even illogical task, we know. That’s the whole point of making thieves try to do it with a mop and bucket. So they can see how much of a failure they’re turning the country to.

ALSO READ: Why Everyone Is Angry Buhari Pardoned Two Thieves for Easter

Sweaty exercises

How to Punish Corrupt Nigerian Politicians

Since grown-up Nigerian leaders can’t seem to learn that stealing is bad behaviour, they deserve to be treated like we treat children that don’t listen. We’re not making thieves sweat enough, and this is why corruption is feeling too at home.

Walk of Shame 

Yes, another shaming proposal because we clearly don’t have enough of it. Hollywood has its prestigious Walk of Fame for the best of the best in the business of filmmaking. The best of the best thieves in Nigeria should get their very own shiny Walk of Shame plaques to immortalise their bad behaviour. Maybe then, it’d be harder for thieves to rebrand.

Watch Chief Daddy 2 on repeat forever

How to Punish Corrupt Nigerian Politicians

We bet even the most unrepentant thief doesn’t want to watch Chief Daddy 2 more than once.

This guy’s suggestion 

ALSO READ: How to Get Away with $9.8 Million — the Andrew Yakubu Story

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Rivers VAT
September 14, 2021

Rivers State generated ₦15 billion from VAT in June 2021, but only got ₦4.7 billion, whereas Kano State generated ₦2.8 billion naira from VAT in June 2021 and got the same ₦2.8 billion naira it made.

This is allyou need to know about the VAT crises:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 5, 2022

Will you listen? Aries Do not rush with your trading decisions. Pay attention to signals and double-check your entry and exit points. Taurus Analyse your performance. Take note of winning and losing trades. When you make a mistake, let it teach you. Gemini Time to get some more trader friends. If you’re an active part […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

More from Citizen

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X