Butter and a Few Friends Fight for Bread’s Attention

February 19, 2022

Everyone knows Bread is a bad bitch. She can be a bad bitch either alone or with company, so it’s no surprise when everyone tries to be Bread’s lover. She’s seen jam, beans, butter and even pap compete to be her primary companion. 

Today, Bread invited all her admirers to debate on why she should spend the rest of her life with one of them. 

Jam

Bread, you are sweet, but with me, you’re sweeter. I know I was created with you in mind, my sweetness was made for yours and my creator made me because you exist. I can’t imagine a life without you and I don’t want to spend the rest of mine without the food that works best with me. Ignore what the rest of them say because when you’re with me, you’re your best self. 

Butter

I know I’m multifaceted, but I spread better when I’m with you. We work together, I in you and you in me. Issues may arise from me seeing other foods, but you’re the one I want to continue spreading on for the rest of my life. Yours, butter. 

Beans

Butter said it’s multifaceted, but I’m the Beyonce of meals. I have been with you in different forms and I have weathered many storms with you. I’ve been with you as cooked beans, as ewa agoyin, as moin-moin, as akara and as ekuru. The list goes on and on. You too, see how many good and tasty things we’ve achieved together. I’m with you and for you and I look forward to being yours for as long as I live. 

Fried Egg

I am risking my relationship with Yam to be here today. Bread, if you don’t accept me, I’ll have nowhere to run to. You know we shouldn’t be doing this 

Mayonnaise 

To be very honest, I don’t know what I am doing here. I heard people shouting Bread and I decided to follow them. All I know is that people keep trying to force a relationship on us and I have been encouraging them. Even I know that we don’t go well together. I am a colonizer and that’s what I’m about to do here. 

Stew

I’ve been by your side before the rest of them existed and I have to admit that I’m a little heartbroken that you’re letting the others get to your head. Contrary to what you think, I am not your bro, I know my siblings and they know me. I want to be your lover, Dip yourself into me and experience hot,  spicy, unspeakable joy. 

Peanut Butter

I saw jam coming here and decided to join them. All I want is for Bread, jam and I to be a throuple and I’ll be ok. 

Indomie

I think I’m lost. Where is the way out of here?

*Oats and avocado are still at the door knocking, but Bread has heard enough*

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 2, 2023

From Lagos to Atlanta, fans never stop comparing and pitting their faves against each other. Just like Rihanna can’t beat the Beyoncé comparisons 17 years into her awe-inspiring career, Davido still gets Wizkid comparisons daily despite just a year between their debut. Similarly, Seyi Shay was compared to Tiwa Savage when she came out with […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Chopist

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X