How to Make the Perfect Eggs

June 27, 2019

What makes for the perfect eggs? Does it have to scrambled dry or left a little runny? Cooked plain with a pinch of salt and butter? Or cooked chokeful with vegetables and whatever else you could lay your hands on? 

For me, the perfect eggs are moist plain scrambled eggs. Cooked with a lot of butter and pinch of salt black pepper and parsley. According to the first person I talked to for this article, that might as well be dog food. So I asked him and 6 other people what made the perfect eggs. While I don’t agree with their answers they are certainly interesting. 

No need for senrenre

I just don’t think there is a need for any senrenere when it comes to eggs. A bit of onion someone Cameroon pepper and you are good. Anything else in eggs is just doing too much. 

Never fry it

I’m weird with eggs. I can eat three boiled eggs in a day every single day but I really hate fried eggs. Want to know how to make the perfect eggs? Always boil it, never fry it. That’s it, pretty simple.

Pad the eggs

There’s was this video that was trending one time with this guy telling a mai shai to keep adding sardine or something to his eggs. That guy is me, I’m that guy. I’ll add anything I can lay my hands on into my eegs. Sardine, corned beef, sausages, I just need something to pad the eggs. 

Egg whites only please

Fried plain white eggs are my idea of perfect eggs. Separate the yolk from the eggs and just throw it away, whisk your egg whites hard and fry them with small butter. 

The spicier the better

The spicier the better when it comes to eggs. And when I say spicy I’m not talking about just pepper, please. If you are someone who likes to play around with spices then eggs are the perfect playground. I don’t think there is anything you could put in them that’d ruin them. Not even pepper soup spice and trust me I’ve tried that. It’s bomb. 

Boiled runny and fried dry

I like my boiled eggs very runny and my fried or scrambled eggs very dry. And in my opinion that’s the only way to make those two types of eggs. If you eat hardboiled eggs you clearly aren’t ready for the finer things of life. If you eat runny fried or scrambled eggs you must be a disgo. No two ways about it.

Don’t bother with boiled eggs

Eggs might be the plainest food in the world. Which is why I don’t even bother with boiled eggs. You can’t do anything with it. I don’t mind it in a salad or a sandwich or something but I can’t just boil an egg and start eating it. Unlike fried eggs. If you do fried eggs right, it could be a whole meal by itself. Get some onions in there, a whole lot of bell peppers, and some sausages and you have yourself a great breakfast in 5 minutes

Just throw it away

So here’s the best way to make eggs. Pay close attention because I’m not going to go over this twice. You crack the desired number of eggs into a bowl, add some pepper, add some salt, whisk it until it’s nice and light, then pour that shit down a sink. Eggs are disgusting and there is no such thing as the perfect eggs. Period.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 8, 2020

Things dey happen for this life o. You won’t believe Indomie noodles that we know as that regular babe has changed her range. From ordinary noodles, people are making Indomie pizza, poundo-mie, and the Nigerian in me cannot believe it. See for yourself. 1. Indomielette. I saw this one on Dooney’s Kitchen. According to her, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 6, 2022

The Nigerian Voter is a series that seeks to understand the motivations that drive the voting decisions of Nigerians — why they vote, how they choose their candidates, why some have never voted, and their wildest stories around elections. This week’s subject of The Nigerian Voter is Umar, a tech freelancer in his early twenties […]

December 6, 2022

The Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project (SERAP) has a track record of suing Buhari every three market days. The organisation has dragged the president to court over the embezzlement of ₦1.4 trillion meant for oil refineries, and for his failure to publish the repatriation details of Abacha’s $23 million loot, amongst others. The list of […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

More from Chopist

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X