How To Make The Perfect Eggs


June 27, 2019

What makes for the perfect eggs? Does it have to scrambled dry or left a little runny? Cooked plain with a pinch of salt and butter? Or cooked chokeful with vegetables and whatever else you could lay your hands on? 

For me, the perfect eggs are moist plain scrambled eggs. Cooked with a lot of butter and pinch of salt black pepper and parsley. According to the first person I talked to for this article, that might as well be dog food. So I asked him and 6 other people what made the perfect eggs. While I don’t agree with their answers they are certainly interesting. 

No need for senrenre

I just don’t think there is a need for any senrenere when it comes to eggs. A bit of onion someone Cameroon pepper and you are good. Anything else in eggs is just doing too much. 

Never fry it

I’m weird with eggs. I can eat three boiled eggs in a day every single day but I really hate fried eggs. Want to know how to make the perfect eggs? Always boil it, never fry it. That’s it, pretty simple.

Pad the eggs

There’s was this video that was trending one time with this guy telling a mai shai to keep adding sardine or something to his eggs. That guy is me, I’m that guy. I’ll add anything I can lay my hands on into my eegs. Sardine, corned beef, sausages, I just need something to pad the eggs. 

Egg whites only please

Fried plain white eggs are my idea of perfect eggs. Separate the yolk from the eggs and just throw it away, whisk your egg whites hard and fry them with small butter. 

The spicier the better

The spicier the better when it comes to eggs. And when I say spicy I’m not talking about just pepper, please. If you are someone who likes to play around with spices then eggs are the perfect playground. I don’t think there is anything you could put in them that’d ruin them. Not even pepper soup spice and trust me I’ve tried that. It’s bomb. 

Boiled runny and fried dry

I like my boiled eggs very runny and my fried or scrambled eggs very dry. And in my opinion that’s the only way to make those two types of eggs. If you eat hardboiled eggs you clearly aren’t ready for the finer things of life. If you eat runny fried or scrambled eggs you must be a disgo. No two ways about it.

Don’t bother with boiled eggs

Eggs might be the plainest food in the world. Which is why I don’t even bother with boiled eggs. You can’t do anything with it. I don’t mind it in a salad or a sandwich or something but I can’t just boil an egg and start eating it. Unlike fried eggs. If you do fried eggs right, it could be a whole meal by itself. Get some onions in there, a whole lot of bell peppers, and some sausages and you have yourself a great breakfast in 5 minutes

Just throw it away

So here’s the best way to make eggs. Pay close attention because I’m not going to go over this twice. You crack the desired number of eggs into a bowl, add some pepper, add some salt, whisk it until it’s nice and light, then pour that shit down a sink. Eggs are disgusting and there is no such thing as the perfect eggs. Period.

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