Port harcourt | Zikoko!

This December, Amstel Malta brought the magic and warmth of Christmas to life across three major cities — Enugu, Port Harcourt and Aba — with spectacular light installations that transformed streets into festive destinations for families, visitors, and returning loved ones.

L-R: Chinwe Ude, Zonal Business Manager, East Zone, Nigerian Breweries PLC; Thibaut Boidin, Managing Director, Nigerian Breweries Plc; Olufumilayo Akande, Non-Executive Director, Nigerian Breweries Plc; and Yibo Koko; DG/CEO, Rivers State Tourism Development Agency RSTDA; at the Amstel Malta Legendary Christmas Light up ceremony at the GRA Junction in Port Harcourt.

From December 2nd to 4th, thousands gathered across the three cities to witness the lighting ceremonies, marking the official start of Amstel Malta’s 2025 festive campaign themed “Be Your Best all Season Long.”

This initiative, a part of Nigerian Breweries ‘Legendary Christmas’ campaign, was designed to celebrate homecoming, inspire joy, and strengthen community connection during the most anticipated time of the year.

Speaking on the significance of the three-city celebration, Sarah Agha, Marketing Director, Nigerian Breweries Plc, explained that this year’s activities were anchored on Amstel Malta’s Be Your Best All Season Long message, a reminder that encourages Nigerians to show up for one another, reconnect during homecoming, and embrace the warmth and joy that help us bring our best selves into the season.

“The reason we are here today is rooted in the purpose of our company — to brew the joy of true togetherness. That is what we care about most. At Nigerian Breweries, we are a company committed to spreading joy, and this season holds a special place in the hearts of Nigerians. December is not just a date on the calendar; it is a time when distance no longer matters, when families come home to reconnect, share meals, settle differences, and celebrate as one.

“So, when we asked ourselves how we could make this season even more meaningful, the answer was clear: we would light up cities across the country. And we are a company that has the credibility to do this because our footprint spans across Nigeria.”

She added “We want to thank you — for showing up, for choosing Amstel Malta, for supporting us through the years, and for embracing a brand that inspires Nigerians to be the best version of themselves.”

In each city, the lighting ceremonies attracted dignitaries, government representatives, cultural leaders, residents, and visitors, who applauded the brand’s commitment to enriching public spaces and creating meaningful festive moments.

Popular personalities, including Stan Nze and Natacha Akide (Tacha), also joined in celebrating the light-up moments, adding excitement and colour to the festivities. They were received by consumers who came out to share in the experience and be part of Amstel Malta’s historic street light-up.

The highlight of this year’s Christmas calendar is the maiden edition of Amstel Malta Festiville in Aba, scheduled to hold between the 23rd to 27th of December, a full-scale festive village created to immerse families and communities in music, art, entertainment, and unforgettable holiday experiences.

The Festiville experience includes the Amstel Malta Grotto, a soulful Christmas carol night, and much more . Children will also enjoy a dedicated Kids’ Playground and Games Arena, ensuring that families of all ages share in the magic of the season.

Designed as a festive wonderland, Amstel Malta Festiville is set to capture the warmth, excitement, and togetherness of the Christmas season, giving families and communities a place to reconnect, celebrate, and create meaningful memories. With this year’s celebrations, Amstel Malta invites Nigerians everywhere to come home to joy, share in the light of the season, and Be Their Best All Season Long.

In addition to the Street Light Up tour and Amstel Malta Festiville in Aba, Amstel Malta will also be present at the Lagos Food Fest, a vibrant culinary and entertainment experience happening at Muri Okunola Park on December 14, 2025, giving Lagos residents another exciting opportunity to celebrate the season with the brand.

As the lights continue to shine throughout the festive season, Amstel Malta encourages residents and returning families to visit the installations, create memories, and celebrate love, gratitude, and togetherness.

To join the celebration, participants can take a selfie or group photos, videos at any of the installations and tag @amstelmalta using the campaign hashtag #LegendaryChristmasNB for a chance to win exciting prizes and Christmas surprises.

For more information on all the festive events by Amstel Malta, follow @amstelmalta on all social media platforms.
A Week in the Life is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.

The subject of this week’s A Week in the Life is Hero Lewis, a maths teacher based in Port Harcourt. He talks about learning patience on the job, why he misses flogging students and the aspect of his job that brings him the most joy.

Cover image via iStock

MONDAY

Every Monday, except I’m exhausted, I wake up by 4 a.m. and commit my day to God’s hands. I grab breakfast, freshen up and mentally prepare myself for the week. Then, I get ready for work.

Transport to school can range from ₦150 to ₦250 depending on if I use a keke or cab. I arrive at 7:30 a.m. and join the assembly, which lasts from 8 to 8:20 a.m., after which students disperse to their classes and the bell for the first-period rings.

I teach math at a senior secondary school, and the first item on my schedule is to teach SS1 for two 40-minute periods. I teach maths and physics from SS1 to SS3, so my Mondays are jampacked until school closes.

After school today, I stumbled into two students from Uniport who’re doing pre-degrees and trying to gain admission into 100 level. They needed help with maths, so I assessed them, only to discover how bad they were. But I promised to tutor them.

The economy isn’t smiling, so I take classes outside my day job at school. Some students from my class convince their parents to enrol them in my after-school classes. So, even when I close from school by 4 p.m., work has not finished. I move to different places around town for private tutorials.

From Monday to Sunday, I have private classes until 7 p.m. when I truly close from work. I only compensate for all the stress by making sure I rest at night.

TUESDAY

Maths is boring and tiring, and if you don’t teach it in an atmosphere of joy, you won’t get anywhere with your students. That’s why I have a few tricks. For example, when I walk into a class, I don’t just start teaching. I take a few minutes to tell an interesting or funny story. When my students are really feeling the story, and I’ve caught their attention, then I start teaching.

But it doesn’t end there. I take short breaks to crack a joke and tell a relatable story. When I ask a question students can’t answer correctly, I correct them with care so they’re not demoralised. Many students look forward to my class.

When parents hire me for private tutorials, nine times out of ten, the student asked them to because I teach them very well at school but they want to do even better. These days, I’m overbooked, so if someone wants to hire me to tutor them, omo, the money has to have serious weight.

Thank God good work has a way of advertising itself because, again, the economy is not smiling. That’s why I invest a lot of time into being a better teacher each day. After all, it’s from where person work person go chop. If they do the work well, they would chop well.

Hero Lewis in class

WEDNESDAY

Irrespective of where you come from, numbers remain numbers. Maths is the most universal language. That’s what I always tell my students. So if a child’s maths foundation is faulty, they would struggle. I’ve seen students change what they wanted to study because math is hard and their foundations aren’t solid.

Earlier in my career, there was an SS1 student who was terrible at maths. I was called to help them, and based on “I believe myself die”, I dived right in. After assessing him, I was shocked. The boy’s rate of assimilation was very low. And the thing about parents is, when they hire tutors, they expect magic. They expect to start seeing results immediately. They want their children who were bottom of the class to start blasting A’s next term.

Unfortunately, this boy failed the next exam. So I had to switch tactics. I started by helping him revise the multiplication table — it’s not every time you depend on calculator. I went back to the very root to teach him things he should’ve already known before getting to SS1. I taught him foundational fractions, decimals, percentages, profit and loss, etc. It took months, but it was worth it because they’re building blocks. Gradually, he started catching up. I would ask, “eight times seven,” and he would respond, “56!” in a blink of an eye.

One day, the boy won a maths drill in assembly and received a voucher as a reward. The principal called his parents and confirmed their son had improved in maths and sciences. I’ve never been happier.

THURSDAY

As a maths teacher, the most valuable lesson I’ve learnt is patience. Secondary school students are a handful and every day is a test. But I have the experience to handle stubbornness without losing my head.

But it’s not always been rosy. There are some people who challenge your every sense of restraint. Like one SS3 girl a few years ago. I swear children like her can ruin someone’s career. I was hired to tutor her for WAEC, but I was brought in late. There wasn’t enough time because I had to go back to primary school level to even make a mark. Unfortunately, it was too little too late.

In the early years of my career, there were students who drove me to extreme anger. I would teach something this minute and ask them the same thing the next, and they would be mute. I would be like, “Ahn ahn, why is this one giving me problem like this na? Something I just explained now now?” In my mind, I’d be like, “Make I tear this girl slap?”

FRIDAY

I had to deal with noisemakers again today, and I’m happy how much things have changed. In those days, any student who misbehaved or made noise in class would receive major punishment. By the time you receive five or six lashes, it’d be like they poured you water to make you calm for the rest of the day.

Many schools no longer allow corporal punishment. And that’s a good thing, I won’t lie. I used to flog students because it was the easiest punishment, and it was just to assert authority. But I’ve found sometimes, students are restless and just want you to divert a little from the subject, to tell a story or banter and make learning a little more engaging. As a teacher, I realised that in any atmosphere you enter, it’s your person that sticks. A joyful person will encourage a joyful atmosphere while a sad one will reflect sadly on the students.

Maturity has come in, and I have a different outlook on life, from the need to flog all the time. Sometimes, I just issue threats. Another tactic is when I get employed at a school, I’ll be very stern at first, then later, I calm down.

The downside of no more flogging is teachers have to talk too much these days. Sometimes, I wish I could still flog. Some children are so stubborn that out of the 40 minutes period for a class, I can find myself using 15 minutes to manage the class and calm students down. Something that cane would’ve solved, I now have to talk and talk. But the government says teachers shouldn’t flog again, so no wahala.

SATURDAY

I work so hard because of inflation. I find myself spending much more money to enjoy the same meals I’ve enjoyed for so long. But I’m not getting younger, and I can’t keep working every day of the week for the rest of my life.

I would like to do my master’s, so I no longer have to work so much just to get by. The more you learn, the more you earn. And since secondary schools don’t pay much, I want to level up.

I’ve told my students my days with them are numbered. I know they’ll miss me, but I hope their next maths teacher will treat them with the same level of care.

If you enjoyed this story, you might also like: “Nigerians Think They Know English” — A Week in the Life of an IELTS Tutor

Check back for new A Week in the Life stories every first Tuesday of the month at 9 a.m. If you’d like to be featured on the series, or you know anyone interesting who fits the profile, fill out this form.

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Port Harcourt slangs are out of this world. They are often scary-sounding and you probably shouldn’t say some of them outside. But for the sake of blending in, you’re better off knowing them than not.

Jonz

This means “mad “or “stupid”. (e.g. No go dey jonz).

Abobi

This means “guy”.

Die it

This means “shut up”.

Chow

This means “eat” or “to eat”.

Salama

This means “greet” or “to greet”.

Malle

This means “mother”.

Palle

This means “father”.

Cappa

This means “phone”.

Fracas

This is loosely translated to “disagreement”.

Unit

This means “an area” or “a house”.

Disembark

This means “stop” or “get away”.

RELATED: 7 Things You NEED to Know If You Are Visiting Port Harcourt for The First Time

Tanana

This means “to call someone”. (e.g I dey tanana my guy).

Banny

This is used to refer to a pretty lady.

“You too dey cap cap”

Loosely translates to “you talk too much”.

Senior man

This means “boss”. Use it when you’re referring to someone you respect.

Facebook me

“Look at me”.

Kpekus

This means “sex”. Another word for it is “wipe” (e.g I don wipe that guy. Nothing dey at all).

Rubbers

This means “money” or “funds” (e.g., “Oh boy! You hold rubbers for hand?”).

“Woto woto”

This means “in excess”. An example is the popular expression is, “I go beat you woto woto”.

“Weda your compass”

This means “where are you going?”.

READ THIS NEXT: 19 Places In Port Harcourt That Will Definitely Confuse You
Have you ever thought about what cities share the most similarities with your favourite football clubs? Well, we have, and now we’ve attempted to draw parallels between some of England’s biggest football clubs and places in Nigeria.

Akure – Tottenham

Small nyash wey dey shake sometimes. They had two minutes of good history and that was it. They’re both modest achievers and have a few notable individuals. Tottenham has a league cup to its name and Akure has… well, Shoprite and an airport.

Calabar – Arsenal

These two have a lot of good old days to remember. Just like Arsenal under Wenger played great football, Calabar used to be a really great place when it had that governor who built that famous mountain resort. Both are now better known for their lack of genuine progress. Calabarians bask in the golden years of Donald Duke just like Arsenal fans never stop bringing up their golden Premier League trophy from nearly 20 years ago.

Ibadan – Liverpool

A lot of history and notable figures with years and years of decay in the middle, and a renaissance engineered by a visionary leader in the persons of Seyi Makinde and Jurgen Klopp, respectively.

Port Harcourt – Chelsea

Loud, proud, notable individuals in recent history, great strides financed by oil money. Chelsea fans and folks from Port Harcourt are some of the proudest people you’ll ever meet.

Lagos – Manchester United

Great history. Many notable individuals. Ever since their iconic leaders (Babatunde Fashola and Sir Alex Ferguson) left them, they’ve been left at the mercy of administrators who haven’t measured up to standard. Meanwhile, fans and inhabitants of the club and city go to bed every night stressed, while trying to convince themselves they’re still as great as they used to be.

Abuja – Manchester City

They don’t have a long history or many notable individuals. In fact they don’t have as many inhabitants and fans as other cities and clubs around. But in terms of recent strides, they’ve become very high achievers thanks to the injection of oil money. Everyone is migrating from their cities and clubs to this city because they’re the shiniest new object in town.

QUIZ: Can You Match These Football Coaches to Their Clubs?
In early 2016, Olaedo Elemuwa woke up to black soot covering every surface of her compound in Iwofe, Port Harcourt. She struggled to breathe, and for the rest of the day, sneezed out blackish mucus. Six years later, black soot still hangs over Port Harcourt like a cloud of impending doom.

How are Port Harcourt residents living with the health and environmental impacts of illegal oil refining in a city once nicknamed “The Garden City”?

“You wake up and check the time; it says 7 a.m. You look out the window, and it’s looking like 8 p.m.,” Elemuwa, who has lived all her life in Port Harcourt, says.

Port Harcourt is a major city in the Niger Delta, the country’s oil-producing region. As home to many petroleum companies, air pollution isn’t a stranger to the city and its residents. In the last six years, black soot has spread dramatically throughout the city due to the indiscriminate burning of crude oil during the illegal refining process by oil thieves and illegal bunkers.

In 2017, the Rivers State government set up a task force to combat the soot scourge. But the following year, Port Harcourt residents, frustrated that the promises had not yielded any tangible results, launched public protests under the hashtag #StoptheSoot.

A study by the Stakeholder Democracy Network estimates that Port Harcourt now houses five times the number of illegal refineries as it did five years ago. In that time, the total supply chain of illegally refined petroleum increased 24-fold.

But the government has tried a few things: Nigerian law enforcement and the military have raided illegal bunkers, burning hundreds of them in the process — albeit destructive actions which only further pollute the city.

So how are residents facing life under these conditions?

Nse-Obot Afaha, a university student at Rivers State University of Science and Technology, cleans her room multiple times daily and rarely wears white clothing. “If I wash my clothes and hang them outside, black soot quickly settles on them.” Blessing Awulotu, though, has a washing machine that spins her clothes almost dry. Then she spreads them in her sitting room.

Health professionals predict that if the soot situation persists, it could lead to life-threatening consequences for residents in the long term. AirVisual reports Port Harcourt’s particulate matter at PM2.5 concentration, 4.8 times above the WHO annual air quality guideline value. Continued exposure to such poor air quality greatly increases the risk of respiratory infections, heart disease and lung cancer. Doctors warn that more than six million Rivers State residents are at risk of such diseases.

Image via Ijaw Nation

Saviour, a Port Harcourt-based trader, tells me, “We are all smokers in this city. The only difference is that it’s soot we’re smoking.”

And while some residents have made lifestyle adjustments to live a little better, others have migrated — but everyone can’t leave their home.

Precious Nwadike, a senior nurse, has chosen to stay put after turning down an offer to move to Lagos in 2019. She doesn’t think Lagos is any better. ”It stinks and has a housing problem.” Uchechukwu* is in the second year of a four-year course at University of Port Harcourt. For Blessing mentioned earlier, she can’t just leave her booming businesses as she would have to start life afresh. Olaedo Elemuwa wants to leave the polluted city, but she would feel guilty leaving her family behind — she is especially concerned for her mother, who suffers bronchitis.

In January 2022, the Rivers State Government put a ₦2m bounty on each illegal refinery. Some alleged offenders have been caught — In January 2022, the Nigerian Navy arrested five suspected oil thieves after simultaneous raids. But despite the tough-talking by the state government, residents claim that the illegal business continues to boom, which makes them suspect that the state’s leadership is being lenient in tackling the menace.

“It’s not a secret,” a respondent who asked for anonymity says. “The governor does not need to promise anybody any money. We see these people every day and we know who they are. If the government wants to catch them; they know where to look.”

In January 2022, a video surfaced on Twitter showing officers of the Nigerian Police force attempting to resist efforts by the government to destroy an illegal bunkering site.

Chairman of Obio/Akpor LGA in Rivers State has uncovered another illegal bunkering site in the state guarded by the Nigerian police. The Police is trying to resist the Chairman and his team from destroying the illegal bunkering site. Governor Wike is on his way to the site. pic.twitter.com/BmnDd3bsfl
— Chris (@Topboychriss) January 15, 2022

Some other residents claim that the same law enforcement agents tasked with nipping the situation in the bud are also being hired by illegal refiners. “So who will they be loyal to?” a resident of Akpajo asks.

“It’s organised crime. Even fuelling stations buy from the illegal refineries. Drivers charge these people heavily to transport the illegal petroleum products because they know what they’re carrying. These drivers pay off mobile policemen at checkpoints on the highway between Rivers and Imo state, I have witnessed this happen too many times on my inter-state trips,” he says.

In the face of peril, residents continue to go about their daily lives. Awulotu tells me that people generally don’t take the situation seriously. While there is the occasional outcry, people have to work to meet more pressing needs like their daily bread. After all, “Na person wey see food chop dey protest.”

Lack of proper sensitisation also poses a problem: many residents don’t understand the severity of the situation as the soot doesn’t have immediate consequences. “Most people don’t know how hazardous it is,” Awulotu says. “They just know that if e touch your nose, black something go comot. If you carry your leg enter house, everywhere go black.

“Because we’re not feeling any immediate effects on our skins, it looks like we can live with us. But I know we really can’t.”

Public health workers are convinced that there’s been a surge in respiratory and heart diseases cases in Rivers State in recent times. But a culture of poor record-keeping and tracking means it’s difficult to say for sure.

In January 2022, the Nigerian federal government promised to establish three modular refineries in the Niger Delta to halt the illegal petroleum refining activities and their impact on residents in the affected locations.

Meanwhile, Blessing Awulotu looks to the rainy season for temporary succour, as she claims heavy rains disrupt activities of the illegal refineries. Meantime, she’s masking up and hoping that sometime soon, the government will “do something.”

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If you think Edo babes are fearless, then you haven’t met Port Harcourt babes. Here’s a list of things you should know about Port Harcourt babes.

1. They fear nothing

Fear who? Don’t even mention it.

2. They like money

If there’s one thing about Port Harcourt babes, it’s that they like money. Whether they are making it or receiving it, either way they are excited. If you don’t have money, don’t bother.

3. They will eat your money

Be ready to spend on a Port Harcourt babe. Like Small Doctor said, “If you no get money, hide your face.”

4. They can change it for you anytime

One minute, they are all sweet and another they are changing it for you. If you like your life, don’t try a Port Harcourt babe.

5. They are wicked

Port Harcourt babes are unrivalled when it comes to wickedness. No time for stories that touch.

6. They can outdrink you

When you see a Port Harcourt babe drinking, respect her. Pay your dues and buy her a drink. No do pass yourself.

7. They are go-getters

They are usually the breadwinners in their homes. They work so hard to put food on the table and when it’s time to flex, they flex hard.

8. They don’t give a fuck

They do whatever they want and don’t care about people’s opinions about them. Who you be? Your papa don baff?

9. Bole and fisherman’s soup is the way to their heart

Buy this for a Port Harcourt babe and thank me later.

10. They are beautiful

Port Harcourt babes are gorgeous as fuck. This is not open for discussion.

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So you want to win the heart of a Port Harcourt person? Love is a beautiful thing. As much as people deny it, everybody wants to fall in love and feel butterflies in their stomach. Even Port Harcourt people want to feel bees in theirs.

It might not be easy to win a Port Harcourt person’s heart, but with the tips in this article, you’ll sweep them off their feet.

1. Buy them a gun

How can you say you love a Port Harcourt person and you haven’t bought them at least one tiny pistol to be carrying around? Is that one love or deception?

2. Give them alcohol for breakfast

If you can get kai-kai or ogogoro to their doorstep by 5:30 a.m. every morning they’ll know you value them. Port Harcourt people don’t use toothpaste to brush; alcohol is a better mouth cleanser.

3. Allow them visit Casablanca

There is love, and then there’s allowing your partner go to Casablanca to do whatever they like. What happens in Casablanca stays in Casablanca.

4. Give them bole whenever they visit

Don’t make the mistake of giving them bole and groundnut. They will take it as an affront and declare war on you and your family. Give them fish. Bole and roasted fish. Don’t forget the ogogoro.

5. Join their cult

Take your love to the next level by joining their cult. This is how they’ll know you’re serious.

6. Call them abobi

“Abobi” in the ears of a Port Harcourt person is like “Destroy the future of this nation” in the ears of Buhari. It turns them on.

7. Sharpen their axe for them

Imagine them getting home and seeing all their axes and cutlasses sharpened. They can marry you on the spot.

QUIZ: Can You Unscramble These Port Harcourt Locations In 2 Minutes?

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Sometimes, when you want to go to a new city, you need advice. Well, here are 7 very important things you need to know if you are going to the city of Port Harcourt for the first time.

1) Bole

They eat bole like the meal that it is, with fish, sauce, etc. If you are used to eating with groundnut like a person that is suffering, now is your chance to truly enjoy it. You cannot come to Port Harcourt and not try the bole, it is criminal.

2) Population

Because of how small the population is, everyone is sleeping with everyone, especially Ikwere boys. You will be seeing someone, but will not know he is your ex’s neighbour’s brother. The population is so small, you cannot meet any new person. Everyone is just recycling partners.

3) UST boys

There is a popular basketball court inside UST, where all the boys assemble to gist about the girl of the week. Sleep with one, your gist will become Saturday morning devotion. Fear UST boys, then fear God.

4) Language

It is not every new slang or word you hear outside that you repeat someplace. Respect yourself, before somebody stops you one day and asks you questions you cannot answer.

5) Hang-out spots

There is nowhere new to go. You will go to the same places like fifteen times to do the same thing you have done a hundred times, because what else? No excitement.

6) Inexpensive

It usually does not cost as much to live in PH. Especially if you are coming from places like Lagos and Abuja, the Port Harcourt lifestyle will not break your pocket.

7) Clothes

There are certain colours you cannot wear to certain places. Do not let them follow you to your father’s house to cause trouble. Please, just ask before you move about.

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Port Harcourt is the capital city of Rivers state, Nigeria. It is also called Pitakwa, and is the largest city of Rivers state. From what we hear, the bole and fish in Port Harcourt is legendary, but you know what is more legendary? The names of some areas in Port Harcourt. Here’s a list of them. Tell us if you’re not confused.

1. Rumuodomanya

2. Rumuolumeni

3. Rumusunwo

4. Rumuomoi

5. Rumuola

6. Rumukalagbo

Photo Credit: PH Drones

7. Rumunduru

8. Rumuobiakani

9. Rumuapara

10. Rumuorosi

11. Rumualogu

12. Rumuokwuta

13. Rumuagholu (Not to be confused with number 11, please).

14. Rumuche

15. Rumudara

16. Rumuosi

17. Rumuigbo

18. Rumueme

19. Rumuji

Now tell us, were you confused or not?

If you live in Port Harcourt, this one is for you: 14 Pictures That Will Make Sense To People Who Live In Port Harcourt
Unbelievable things happen on university campuses. Sometimes, the students are active players in these things. At other times, they can only watch as the situations unfold. This week, I spoke to a couple of students studying at University of Port Harcourt and got them to talk about the wildest thing that has happened to them. From run-ins with lecturers and cultists to extortion by security operatives, these students have some stories to share.

Angela— I fended off a lecturer’s advances and it became a problem

Sometime in my second year, I was at the faculty to attend a class when a lecturer called me into his office. He asked about my CGPA and offered to help me with whatever I didn’t understand about his course. I thought that was it until he reached for his desk and brought out some sweets, which he tried to feed me. I excused myself, telling him that I had a class to attend. He let me go with clear instructions that I had to return.

I didn’t go back and avoided him for the longest time. He asked my course rep to fetch me and dismissed her when we got to his office. Again, I was alone with him. He didn’t waste time this time before trying to kiss me. I was so disgusted that I didn’t know when I yelled at him to stop. He was taken aback and I used the opportunity to flee his office.

A few days before exams, he sent my course rep to tell me that “exam has come oh, how far?”

I knew what that meant. However, I didn’t go to see him. When the results came out, I got an E in his course — I did well in school and I was confident that I was poised for an A.

I told my mum what happened. My mum told my dad. And my dad reported the situation to someone in the school senate and the person took it up. It wasn’t fun for me. Suddenly, everybody knew about it and started to spread rumours. In class, the lecturer started to pick up on me. It was really overwhelming for me. At some point, I wasn’t interested in going to class anymore. It blew over eventually, but being in that situation wasn’t a fun thing. It was too much drama.

AJ — I was almost attacked in my lodge

One of my neighbours threw a party at my lodge. My friends and I hung around for a while before we got tired and went back to my room, thinking the night was over. Around 11 PM, one of my friends barged into the room, sick with worry. The only thing I could make out of what he was saying was that we should turn off the generator.

We turned the generator off. Then we found out why he was so alarmed. In the silence of the night, we heard the flat side of a machete landing on people’s backs, followed by loud screams.

It had to be a robbery. We quickly hid our phones because there was the possibility that they would storm our room too. We also looked for a potential exit point in the ceiling where we could hide if the situation became more than we can handle.

Within minutes, someone was knocking on our window, ordering us to let them in. Everyone froze in fright. We had no choice but to obey. We nominated someone to go out and open the door, expecting the worst.

Then this guy walked in with a machete and a gun. However, It was the chief security officer of my community. And he was there to disrupt the party we were at earlier because nobody bribed him before the party took place. So, he came there to extort people and physically harass them. It was either that or he would call the police on them. He searched the room, looking for weed, but he found nothing and left us alone. My friends and I got out of the situation unharmed, but it was really unsettling.

Chinwa — My friend laced my food with weed

I went to see a friend. She cooked noodles and offered it to me. I didn’t know, but she had laced it with weed. She was supposed to make my hair, but the weed took effect quicker on her. She told me she wanted to sleep and I decided to leave. I had barely made it to the car park before I lost all sense of self. Then I realised what she had done.

I flagged down a cab and offered to pay for all the seats. During the ride, I found out that I didn’t have enough money on me, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get home. Nobody picked my call when I got to the hostel, so I had to climb the flight of stairs to get money to pay the cab.

It was the most difficult thing I’d ever done. When I finally settled all that, I returned to my room and flopped down on my bed. Now, I couldn’t sleep. I was so out of it that I could have sworn that the room was spinning in frantic motion.

I didn’t know when I finally slept off or for how long I slept. But I woke up with the worst hunger ever. But it was 11 PM and all the shops had closed. I couldn’t get food until the morning.

Ekele — I went clubbing with friends and became stranded

We had just finished writing the semester exam and there was a party at a club near one of the university three campuses — Choba campus. My friends thought we deserved to go out and have fun. I agreed to it after making both of them promise that we would leave early.

The plan was to leave the club around 9 PM. When that time came, my friends were nowhere near ready to go. I contemplated leaving them there, but I decided against it.

We left the club around 11 PM. However, the roads were empty, save for a few cabs. Our campus was about 30 minutes away but we were stranded. Eventually, we saw a taxi and three other people joined us. Midway into the trip, the driver said he wasn’t going to take us to our actual campus — Delta Campus — so, he dropped us off close to the main gate of Choba campus.

Now, it was 12 midnight or thereabout. And we were three ladies walking the streets of Port Harcourt. I’d never felt unsafe like that in a long time. We weren’t going to make it to the campus, so my friends decided that they would sleep at one of their friend’s, but I wasn’t up for that. I decided to spend the night inside the school. Luckily, one of my friends was still writing her exams and was studying at the campus that night. I found her and stayed with her till until morning. Finally, I got back to my apartment, rethinking my decisions from the previous night. I haven’t been to another club since that time.

Belema — I squared up with a suspected cultist

I was watching a football match between my department and a set of guys from another department. We were trailing behind on goals and tensions were already building up. Close to the end of the match, a player on the opposing team made a bad foul on a player from my team.

An argument broke out because of this and it didn’t die down, even after minutes had passed. Out of nowhere, a guy came on the field and declared the match over. He acted like he owned the place and this irritated me so much.

For some reason, everyone just stood there and did everything he said. I approached my coursemates and asked them why they let a “big olodo boy” tell them what to do.

A couple of his friends heard this and reported what I said to him. He was mad that I called him an olodo and turned his attention to me. He said a lot of things — about how badly he would deal with me. I don’t know where the strength came from but I stood up to him.

In the heat of the moment, I didn’t realise that my coursemates were asking me to keep quiet. Word was that he was a cultist. Things calmed down only because one of my coursemates called his brother, and for some reason, he was able to call him off.

I wasn’t scared of him at the time, but thinking about it sometimes makes me wonder what I was thinking and where the surge of confidence came from.