Office | Page 3 of 4

1. When you first join the office and they are unnecessarily territorial.

Is this your house?
2. When they use style to throw you under the bus when something goes wrong at work.

Wow, see betrayal!
3. When you have a group project and they aren’t pulling their weight.

Lazy human beings.
4. When they are always reporting you to your manager.

Will reporting get you to heaven.
5. When they refuse to mind their business about your personal life.

Who asked you please?
6. When they start hounding you to drop them at home after work.

Is that part of my job?
7. When they start giving unsolicited advice like it’s their area of expertise.

Oh please keep quiet.
8. When they remove their shoes in the office and change the smell of the room.

Is that an illness?
9. When they bring stockfish for lunch and stink up the whole place.

Will your insides be okay?
10. When their peer assessment is full of veiled insults as if that’s what they asked them for.

God will reward you, continue!
1. When you first join the office and they go out of their way to make you feel welcome.

2. When they go on holiday and bring you presents.

3. When they rehash any office gist you missed and give you all the details.

4. When they offer to help you do some of your work so you can leave early.

5. When they give you fun nicknames and use them to cheer you up.

6. When they start gisting you about their marital woes and it turns to a comedy situation.

7. When you have a party and they come ready to have a good time.

8. When you fall ill and they come to visit and bring you presents.

9. When the office playlist is on and they start showing their best moves.
1. How you still sleep by 7.45 AM because there’s nothing like traffic

Unlimited sleeping!
2. What of the joy of just walking down to your workplace

No need for danfo wahala.
3. You, when you see your colleagues running to sign in at past 8

Sorry o!
4. When your boss now makes you the janitor because you stay close-by

But they’re not paying me extra o!
5. When it’s time to close and your boss singles you out for more work

Is it an offence to live close by ?
6. When everyone is buying cars with their last kobo, you’re just like

Nah. Nope. Not gonna happen!
7. When you tell bae to come and pick you at work and he’s like “Can’t you just take keke?”

Come and pick me up, my friend!
8. You, when your co-workers say you should go and bring food from home during lunch hours

You people should better bring food from your house.
9. When there’s traffic and your co-workers want to turn your house to hotel

Just enter your traffic jejely!
1. When they stop picking you up on the way to work.

2. When they start buying breakfast from the yam and egg woman without you.

3. When they don’t use all their teeth to laugh at your jokes anymore.

4. When they start casting you to the HOD when you come late.

5. When they stop buying you little snacks and presents.

6. When they get actually get engaged to their real boyfriend/girlfriend.

7. When they no longer care about how you are getting home.

8. When they no longer crack private jokes with you
1. When people think they can just come and visit you during working hours.

2. When your parents send you on errands anyhow since “you are at home anyway”.

3. When you can no longer separate your work and home life.

4. When NEPA misbehaves and your work is being affected.

5. When work connects ask for a meeting at your office.

6. When you forget yourself, relax too much and have to catch up on all your work.

7. When people are rude about your work because you work from home.
1. When your colleagues are always posting jokes in the office group chat.

You people is it everyday?
2. Your colleagues when April fools day is coming.

That’s their own version of Christmas.
3. When anyone cracks a joke in the office, your boss is like:

She even encourages them!
4. When it’s time for lunch, the whole office is like:

Anything to continue their play-play.
5. On any given day, your boss can just decide to start dancing like:

Michael Jackson returns!
6. When an outsider says your office is too playful.

Who asked you please?
7. When a new employee is trying to form serious:

You will soon join us don’t worry!
8. When you change jobs and the people at your new office are over serious.

“I’m in trouble oh!”
1. When you remember you don’t have to set an extra early alarm, you’re like:

Lucky me!
2. When your mates are sitting in traffic during rush hour, you’re like:

It sucks to be you guys! Sorry!
3. When your bed doubles as a desk and working space.

Multi-purpose piece of furniture.
4. When you’re saving money on transport and take away for lunch, you’re like:

Life is great!
5. When you have to leave the house for outside meetings, you’re like:

What kind of stress is this?
6. When people are sweating in three piece suits in their office, you are working in your jalabia like:

Freedom is life!
7. When you are tired of working and your bed is close by.

Isn’t life fantastic!
1. When you first meet your new boss.

Really?
2. When you are trying to negotiate your salary and realise the person paying it is your mate.

Is this life?
3. When your parents find out your boss is your mate, they look at you like:

“Please look at your life!”
4. When your boss asks you for advice.

As your mate abi?
5. When after shouting at you, your boss tries to be friendly again.

My friend leave here!
6. When someone older than your boss in your office wants to start forming seniority.

You better face your front and your salary.
7. When your boss hands you a query.

I thought we were friends oh!
8. When your boss fires you.

Just goes to show you can’t trust anybody!
1. When buying restaurant food always gives you a big headache.

Why so tasteless and expensive?
2. You now discover one buka beside your office.

The answer to prayers.
3. How people queue at the buka everyday.

You people should go somewhere else o!
4. You, when you realize the buka food is very cheap.

Yesss!
5. When you start purging when you eat buka food for the first time.

Which kind of wahala is this?
6. But that doesn’t stop you from going back to eat more.

You will manage it like that.
7. When your colleagues are going to have lunch at one expensive restaurant.

I am not one of you anymore.
8. When you’re very hungry and the buka doesn’t open.

Iya Basira wants to kill me today.
9. When your colleagues discover you’ve started eating street food.

Look at these ones.
10. When they ask why you like eating buka food.

Because it’s the sweetest sensation.
11. When they now finally have a taste of it, they’re like:

This is too sweet!
1. When you come to the office together but still enter the office at different times.

Nobody can find out please!

2. When other girls in the office are talking about how handsome he is, you’re like.

Look at these ones oh!

3. When you have to pretend you don’t really care about him so people don’t start to suspect you.

Before they ask why you defend him so passionately.

4. When his ex comes to visit in the office you’re like:

This one wants to spoil your happy home!

5. When your ex comes to visit you in the office, you’re like:

Ah!

6. When he starts talking about work stuff at home, you’re like:

Please leave work in the office oh!

7. When he shouts at you in front of everybody at the office, you’re like:

Who is this one talking to?

8. When HR sends another memo advising against relationships between senior and junior colleagues.

Mind your business, please.

9. When someone says he gives you preferential treatment, you’re like:

“I’m just very good at my job”

10. When you are out on a date and see one of your colleagues.

Nobody can find out!

1. When you first join the office and they are unnecessarily territorial.

2. When they use style to throw you under the bus when something goes wrong at work.

3. When you have a group project and they aren’t pulling their weight.

4. When they are always reporting you to your manager.

5. When they refuse to mind their business about your personal life.

6. When they start hounding you to drop them at home after work.

7. When they start giving unsolicited advice like it’s their area of expertise.

8. When they remove their shoes in the office and change the smell of the room.

9. When they bring stockfish for lunch and stink up the whole place.

10. When their peer assessment is full of veiled insults as if that’s what they asked them for.

1. When you first join the office and they go out of their way to make you feel welcome.

2. When they go on holiday and bring you presents.

3. When they rehash any office gist you missed and give you all the details.

4. When they offer to help you do some of your work so you can leave early.

5. When they give you fun nicknames and use them to cheer you up.

6. When they start gisting you about their marital woes and it turns to a comedy situation.

7. When you have a party and they come ready to have a good time.

8. When you fall ill and they come to visit and bring you presents.

9. When the office playlist is on and they start showing their best moves.

1. How you still sleep by 7.45 AM because there’s nothing like traffic

2. What of the joy of just walking down to your workplace

3. You, when you see your colleagues running to sign in at past 8

4. When your boss now makes you the janitor because you stay close-by

5. When it’s time to close and your boss singles you out for more work

6. When everyone is buying cars with their last kobo, you’re just like

7. When you tell bae to come and pick you at work and he’s like “Can’t you just take keke?”

8. You, when your co-workers say you should go and bring food from home during lunch hours

9. When there’s traffic and your co-workers want to turn your house to hotel

1. When they stop picking you up on the way to work.

2. When they start buying breakfast from the yam and egg woman without you.

3. When they don’t use all their teeth to laugh at your jokes anymore.

4. When they start casting you to the HOD when you come late.

5. When they stop buying you little snacks and presents.

6. When they get actually get engaged to their real boyfriend/girlfriend.

7. When they no longer care about how you are getting home.

8. When they no longer crack private jokes with you

1. When people think they can just come and visit you during working hours.

2. When your parents send you on errands anyhow since “you are at home anyway”.

3. When you can no longer separate your work and home life.

4. When NEPA misbehaves and your work is being affected.

5. When work connects ask for a meeting at your office.

6. When you forget yourself, relax too much and have to catch up on all your work.

7. When people are rude about your work because you work from home.

1. When your colleagues are always posting jokes in the office group chat.

2. Your colleagues when April fools day is coming.

3. When anyone cracks a joke in the office, your boss is like:

4. When it’s time for lunch, the whole office is like:

5. On any given day, your boss can just decide to start dancing like:

6. When an outsider says your office is too playful.

7. When a new employee is trying to form serious:

8. When you change jobs and the people at your new office are over serious.

1. When you remember you don’t have to set an extra early alarm, you’re like:

2. When your mates are sitting in traffic during rush hour, you’re like:

3. When your bed doubles as a desk and working space.

4. When you’re saving money on transport and take away for lunch, you’re like:

5. When you have to leave the house for outside meetings, you’re like:

6. When people are sweating in three piece suits in their office, you are working in your jalabia like:

7. When you are tired of working and your bed is close by.

1. When you first meet your new boss.

2. When you are trying to negotiate your salary and realise the person paying it is your mate.

3. When your parents find out your boss is your mate, they look at you like:

4. When your boss asks you for advice.

5. When after shouting at you, your boss tries to be friendly again.

6. When someone older than your boss in your office wants to start forming seniority.

7. When your boss hands you a query.

8. When your boss fires you.

1. When buying restaurant food always gives you a big headache.

2. You now discover one buka beside your office.

3. How people queue at the buka everyday.

4. You, when you realize the buka food is very cheap.

5. When you start purging when you eat buka food for the first time.

6. But that doesn’t stop you from going back to eat more.

7. When your colleagues are going to have lunch at one expensive restaurant.

8. When you’re very hungry and the buka doesn’t open.

9. When your colleagues discover you’ve started eating street food.

10. When they ask why you like eating buka food.

11. When they now finally have a taste of it, they’re like:

1. When you come to the office together but still enter the office at different times.

2. When other girls in the office are talking about how handsome he is, you’re like.

3. When you have to pretend you don’t really care about him so people don’t start to suspect you.