Office | Page 2 of 4

1. When everyone starts asking for your husband or wife 20 minutes after your graduation.

2. When you are till looking for a job but your parents behave like you are just playing.

3. When all the job offers are looking for a fresh graduate with 2 years experience.

4. When you see your salary offer, and it’s at least 50% less than you expected.

5. When everyone in the office treats your boss like one alpha and omega, you’re like:

6. Now that you have a job, this is you when your mates are talking!

7. When you are already tired of life in the office one month into your job.

8. When you find out how much partners are earning and it’s like your salary is not up to their lunch allowance.

9. When people start trying to borrow money because they heard you have a job.

10. This is you, torn between a miserable working life and happy unemployment.
1. So out of nowhere your oga decides to travel.

2. First he says it’s a family issue.

3. Then small time he changes mouth and says it’s for a much needed holiday.

4. Next thing, you hear that it’s a medical issue.

5. When you ask what type of medical issue, he’s like:

6. Okay no problem! What of a return date?

7. Small time his PA starts saying he has spoken to someone, who has spoken to someone who has spoken to him, and all is well.

8. So even oga’s PA too no longer has direct access!

9. Meanwhile oga is uploading snazzy pics on facebook.

10. Making new friends and feeling funky!

11. The long and short of the story is, which day are you coming back sir?
1. The fact that you have to wake up super early, like you offended your ancestors.

2. No matter how early you wake up, traffic is waiting for you, like:

3. Then your boss thinks he can stress you anyhow because of one ordinary salary!

4. And you can’t focus on important things like gisting with your friends and sleeping.

5. Nobody pats you on the back for working hard all week because everyone is working too.

6. And your co-workers don’t have the decency to not be annoying.

7. Then people still want you to try and have a social life in addition to all that wahala.

8. And the fact that you have to repeat it for 5 days straight, week after week.
1. When salary alert is about to land and MTN wants to spoil things

https://twitter.com/winnie_wesley/status/822437579199049728

2. When your salary decides to go the way it comes

https://twitter.com/TafadzwaNigel/status/822368959286497281

3. This guy knows that money IS everything

4. Truly, with salary comes debt and more debt

https://twitter.com/vanillac0caine/status/822220643877982210

5. This is all of us right now

https://twitter.com/katles25/status/822310338536218624

6. Seriously, same

I spent 90% of my salary on food :'))))))
— z (@_lemonsqueezee_) January 20, 2017

7. When you buy top, trousers and shoes and your salary dissapears

https://twitter.com/jaevionn/status/822503369013071873

8. When the real owners of your salary are already waiting for it…

My debts for this month exceed my salary, I'm not even rushing for a pay day. It'll just make my life miserable!
— The Chief of Staff™🇿🇦🇯🇴 (@Majesty_I) January 20, 2017

9. … And that makes you think bad thoughts

https://twitter.com/Rouvafe/status/824160586355318784

10. When your salary has too much work to do

https://twitter.com/Miss_PriDee/status/825651995210039299
1. The amebo, that thinks everyone’s business is his/her birthright.

2. The one whose children are always coming to look for people’s trouble in the office.

3. The funny one, that can turn every and anything into a joke.

4. The lazy one, that never does any work but always want to share in the credit for work done.

5. The party rider, that always has a function to attend even if it’s Monday.

6. The one that’s always bring smelling concoctions in the name of lunch.

7. The fighter, that always has one person or the other to drag to HR.

8. The grumpy one, that doesn’t like associating with people in or out of the office.

9. The one that starts foolish debates every day for fun.

10. The secretive one, that would hide his/her name if it wasn’t necessary information at the office.
1. So you’re not in the mood to be productive at the office today.

2. And you need ideas to waste time but seem very busy while doing nothing.

3. As usual, we are here for you.

4. First of all, take the longest route to work and complain about how terrible traffic is.

5. Then set meetings… for everything.

6. During the meetings, ask for clarification and then ask stupid questions, to make sure the meeting lasts long.

7. After the meeting, set a follow up meeting to discuss what you just discussed at the meeting.

8. Then it’s time for lunch, and you must use your full hour.

9. After lunch, catch up with the group chat.

10. Then look for the easiest task on your to do list and do it.

11. Then start a debate in your department, especially one you know your manager is invested in.

12. Before you know it, time has gone, so carry your load and go.
1. When your stomach disrespects you and you start purging:

2. When the nudes you shared with your crush leaks at work:

3. Being in a boring meeting where everybody is just yarning opata.

4. When you fart loudly during an important meeting:

5. Getting sack letter because you were raining holy ghost fire on your boss during office devotion.

6. Having to give your coworker sack letter:

7. When your boss yells at you in front if your office husband.

8. Someone eating the lunch you bought with your last card:

9. When your boss starts toasting you.

10. When you have to close late because your boss packs extra work for you.

11. When your boss starts sending you to buy beans inside cooler, on top your M.Sc. degree.

What did we miss? Share your own experience in the comments section.
1. So you’ve been at work for a while.

Now part of the establishment!
2. You’ve made friends and gotten good work done!

As a star!
3. In fact your boss has been complimenting you.

Of course! You’re the best!
4. Next thing, you start getting some more work.

Little by little.
5. And being asked to take the lead on certain assignments and projects.

Wow! Adulthood is that you?
6. Now your head is swelling, like:

“I’m a big boy now!”
7. And you are walking with extra pride, like:

All the haters, get out the way!
8. But that means you have to work later hours sometimes.

Na wa oh!
9. And even come in to work early as well.

Is this life?
10. It also means you have to take responsibility when something goes wrong.

Ah no please!
11. And even chop insult inside official emails.

Is it me they are calling inept?
12. And then the salary increase might not even be worth the wahala.

Look at this small change!
13. Or there is no extra salary just title.

Na wa for human beings sha!
14. But when you start stressing too much, you remember that you have a job.

In this economy!
15. And you’re good at it!

Very good sef!
16. So shame to bad people! You will survive!

Over survive sef.
1. When you realise it’s time for lunch at the office!

2. When some of your colleagues start eating lunch at 11:15.

3. When one colleague brings stockfish into the office.

4. When another colleague eats pounded yam and can’t function after lunch.

5. When your fit fam colleague won’t let anyone hear word.

6. When the office is now smelling of all sorts and a guest comes into the office.

7. When you open your lunch and people start doing amebo.

8. When a colleague pays for your lunch.

9. When HR tries to stop people from bringing their smelly food.

10. When it’s someone’s birthday so there is small chops and cake along with lunch.
1. When you first get to the office and make a new friend

2. When you realise they actually like you and aren’t just pretending.

3. When they start giving you office cheat codes to make your office life easier.

4. When they start offering to pick and drop you off at home.

5. When it’s their birthday and you get the biggest slice of cake.

6. When people think you are working but both of you are just gisting on whatsapp for web.

7. When you start hanging out after work.

8. When someone tries to be friends with both of you, you’re like:

1. When everyone starts asking for your husband or wife 20 minutes after your graduation.

2. When you are till looking for a job but your parents behave like you are just playing.

3. When all the job offers are looking for a fresh graduate with 2 years experience.

4. When you see your salary offer, and it’s at least 50% less than you expected.

5. When everyone in the office treats your boss like one alpha and omega, you’re like:

6. Now that you have a job, this is you when your mates are talking!

7. When you are already tired of life in the office one month into your job.

8. When you find out how much partners are earning and it’s like your salary is not up to their lunch allowance.

9. When people start trying to borrow money because they heard you have a job.

10. This is you, torn between a miserable working life and happy unemployment.

1. So out of nowhere your oga decides to travel.

2. First he says it’s a family issue.

3. Then small time he changes mouth and says it’s for a much needed holiday.

4. Next thing, you hear that it’s a medical issue.

5. When you ask what type of medical issue, he’s like:

6. Okay no problem! What of a return date?

7. Small time his PA starts saying he has spoken to someone, who has spoken to someone who has spoken to him, and all is well.

8. So even oga’s PA too no longer has direct access!

9. Meanwhile oga is uploading snazzy pics on facebook.

10. Making new friends and feeling funky!

11. The long and short of the story is, which day are you coming back sir?

1. The fact that you have to wake up super early, like you offended your ancestors.

2. No matter how early you wake up, traffic is waiting for you, like:

3. Then your boss thinks he can stress you anyhow because of one ordinary salary!

4. And you can’t focus on important things like gisting with your friends and sleeping.

5. Nobody pats you on the back for working hard all week because everyone is working too.

6. And your co-workers don’t have the decency to not be annoying.

7. Then people still want you to try and have a social life in addition to all that wahala.

8. And the fact that you have to repeat it for 5 days straight, week after week.

1. When salary alert is about to land and MTN wants to spoil things

2. When your salary decides to go the way it comes

3. This guy knows that money IS everything

4. Truly, with salary comes debt and more debt

5. This is all of us right now

6. Seriously, same

7. When you buy top, trousers and shoes and your salary dissapears

8. When the real owners of your salary are already waiting for it…

9. … And that makes you think bad thoughts

10. When your salary has too much work to do

1. The amebo, that thinks everyone’s business is his/her birthright.

2. The one whose children are always coming to look for people’s trouble in the office.

3. The funny one, that can turn every and anything into a joke.

4. The lazy one, that never does any work but always want to share in the credit for work done.

5. The party rider, that always has a function to attend even if it’s Monday.

6. The one that’s always bring smelling concoctions in the name of lunch.

7. The fighter, that always has one person or the other to drag to HR.

8. The grumpy one, that doesn’t like associating with people in or out of the office.

9. The one that starts foolish debates every day for fun.

10. The secretive one, that would hide his/her name if it wasn’t necessary information at the office.

1. So you’re not in the mood to be productive at the office today.

2. And you need ideas to waste time but seem very busy while doing nothing.

3. As usual, we are here for you.

4. First of all, take the longest route to work and complain about how terrible traffic is.

5. Then set meetings… for everything.

6. During the meetings, ask for clarification and then ask stupid questions, to make sure the meeting lasts long.

7. After the meeting, set a follow up meeting to discuss what you just discussed at the meeting.

8. Then it’s time for lunch, and you must use your full hour.

9. After lunch, catch up with the group chat.

10. Then look for the easiest task on your to do list and do it.

11. Then start a debate in your department, especially one you know your manager is invested in.

12. Before you know it, time has gone, so carry your load and go.

1. When your stomach disrespects you and you start purging:

2. When the nudes you shared with your crush leaks at work:

3. Being in a boring meeting where everybody is just yarning opata.

4. When you fart loudly during an important meeting:

5. Getting sack letter because you were raining holy ghost fire on your boss during office devotion.

6. Having to give your coworker sack letter:

7. When your boss yells at you in front if your office husband.

8. Someone eating the lunch you bought with your last card:

9. When your boss starts toasting you.

10. When you have to close late because your boss packs extra work for you.

11. When your boss starts sending you to buy beans inside cooler, on top your M.Sc. degree.

What did we miss? Share your own experience in the comments section.

1. So you’ve been at work for a while.

2. You’ve made friends and gotten good work done!

3. In fact your boss has been complimenting you.

4. Next thing, you start getting some more work.

5. And being asked to take the lead on certain assignments and projects.

6. Now your head is swelling, like:

7. And you are walking with extra pride, like: