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1. So you must have checked your calendar today hoping to see something other than January…

Like payday, or that it’s your birthday!
2. But unfortunately, we are still in January!

Can you imagine?
3. What kind of nonsense stress is this?

We already have enough problems!
4. How are we still in January?

Someone tell me please!
5. It feels like it has been January for six months!

At the very least!
6. So why is the calendar still counting days in January?

Maybe there is an error somewhere.
7. Meanwhile, your bank account is like:

Something that has been empty since December!
8. And you are already tired of the month, and all it’s wahala!

Stress levels through the roof!
9. But for some reason, January has refused to go away!

Why?
10. We just want to use this opportunity to beg this unnecessarily long month…

Please, please and please!
11. Come and be going please! We are all sick and tired of you!

Thank you fo your co-operation!
1. The one who brings everyone together and organises the hang out.

2. The funny one, that always has a silly story for everyone to laugh at.

3. The spiritual firecracker, that can pray for all of you from today till next year.

4. The busy one, that you all have to make an appointment to see.

5. The popular jingo, that knows anybody and everybody.

6. The amebo, that always has funky gist for the group.

7. The troublemaker, that’s always ready to enter wahala on everybody’s behalf.

8. The lover-babe, that is either in love or heart broken at any given time, never normal.

9. The hustler, with 2 jobs and 6 side hustles, she can hook you up with anything you need.

10. The fashion mama, forever dressed to kill and ready to slay.

11. The suspicious one, that doesn’t trust anybody including herself!

12. The confused one, that never knows what’s happening.

13. The rude one, that talks to anybody anyhow.
1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.
1. When you are arguing with a policeman and then you realise you don’t have your driving license.

2. When your mother asks you if she looks fat in a dress and you say yes.

3. When you tell your mother-in-law her food is a bit salty.

4. When your dad asks you where he should keep something and you ask him to put it on your head.

5. When your boyfriend asks you if you love him and you say “not yet”.

6. When you lie to your best friend that her make up slays and she offers to do it for you.

7. When your aunty is getting carried away in church and is adding jara to her testimony and you start laughing.

8. When your dad asks if you remember your uncle and you say “oh you mean the one you said is a scammer”.

9. When your friend asks you if her baby is cute and you say “well it depends on the angle sha”.

10. When your boyfriend asks if you love him more than your ex and you say “well…”.
1. When you can no longer do ordinary times table because you are used to using a calculator.

2. When you can no longer ignore instructions from your boss because of instant messages and email reminders.

3. When you can no longer lie about not knowing where a place is thanks to online maps

4. When you can no longer pretend you are unaware your crush is a dummy because of social media.

5. Now it’s difficult to repeat clothes too often because people will cast you on social media.

6. When you are in a situation where you can’t ask google and now you look like a dummy.

7. When you learned to drive with an automatic car and someone asks you to drive a manual.

8. When there is no microwave and you are expected to use the stove to warm food.

9. When there is no light or internet and you don’t know how to have fun without them anymore.
1. The amebo, that thinks everyone’s business is his/her birthright.

2. The one whose children are always coming to look for people’s trouble in the office.

3. The funny one, that can turn every and anything into a joke.

4. The lazy one, that never does any work but always want to share in the credit for work done.

5. The party rider, that always has a function to attend even if it’s Monday.

6. The one that’s always bring smelling concoctions in the name of lunch.

7. The fighter, that always has one person or the other to drag to HR.

8. The grumpy one, that doesn’t like associating with people in or out of the office.

9. The one that starts foolish debates every day for fun.

10. The secretive one, that would hide his/her name if it wasn’t necessary information at the office.
1. According to my mother’s prophet, our stars are not compatible.

2. I consulted with my coven, and they feel it’s best we go our separate ways.

3. My spirit husband said I have been paying too much attention to you and so our time is up.

4. You know that time I said I loved you, I was joking and it has gone too far.

5. I’m married and my husband has put magun on me.

6. My mother had a dream….

7. The group chat has decided it’s time for you to get to stepping.

8. I don’t want to have to use you for rituals, so I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.

9. My father said if you come near me again he will kill you.

10. I now realise that I prefer your brother.
1. So you’re not in the mood to be productive at the office today.

2. And you need ideas to waste time but seem very busy while doing nothing.

3. As usual, we are here for you.

4. First of all, take the longest route to work and complain about how terrible traffic is.

5. Then set meetings… for everything.

6. During the meetings, ask for clarification and then ask stupid questions, to make sure the meeting lasts long.

7. After the meeting, set a follow up meeting to discuss what you just discussed at the meeting.

8. Then it’s time for lunch, and you must use your full hour.

9. After lunch, catch up with the group chat.

10. Then look for the easiest task on your to do list and do it.

11. Then start a debate in your department, especially one you know your manager is invested in.

12. Before you know it, time has gone, so carry your load and go.
1. Reciprocation – “Oh I love you too”

2. Confusion – “Are you talking to me?”

3. Temporary deafness – “I beg your pardon”.

4. Hysterics – just laugh and keep laughing till you pass out.

5. Usain Boltitis – Just pick race and keep running till you enter the Atlantic ocean.

6. Tears – Start crying, either from joy or deep and lasting sadness. Just cry.

7. Change the conversation immediately! If you ignore it, it never happened.

8. Musical statues – Don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t say anything.

9. Smile – and say nothing. A smile is worth a thousand words.

10. Cut the phone – Because if it’s not being said to your face does it really count?
1. So you’ve checked your account.

2. And after all your trying it has happened again!

3. You’re broke oh!

4. But now you are tired of crying and shouting, what are you going to do?

5. First you list out all your expenses and start cancelling out all the unnecessary ones.

6. Like that your expensive girlfriend…

7. And buying small chops and cake every day.

8. All your attempts at cost cutting have not yielded much!

9. And now everyone thinks you are rude.

10. Then your father asks you “what did you use your money for?”

11. You’re like:

12. Now you are researching mutual funds and investment opportunities, like:

13. Meanwhile everyone thinks you are now stingy and greedy because you no longer throw money around!

14. But your ARM Money Market Fund is starting to look better each month

15. And when your friends are complaining about being broke, you look at them like:

16. Because thanks to ARM, you are on your way to rich gang, and poverty is behind you.

Start your journey to wealth here
https://arminvestmentcenter.com/mmf/

1. So you must have checked your calendar today hoping to see something other than January…

2. But unfortunately, we are still in January!

3. What kind of nonsense stress is this?

4. How are we still in January?

5. It feels like it has been January for six months!

6. So why is the calendar still counting days in January?

7. Meanwhile, your bank account is like:

8. And you are already tired of the month, and all it’s wahala!

9. But for some reason, January has refused to go away!

10. We just want to use this opportunity to beg this unnecessarily long month…

11. Come and be going please! We are all sick and tired of you!

1. The one who brings everyone together and organises the hang out.

2. The funny one, that always has a silly story for everyone to laugh at.

3. The spiritual firecracker, that can pray for all of you from today till next year.

4. The busy one, that you all have to make an appointment to see.

5. The popular jingo, that knows anybody and everybody.

6. The amebo, that always has funky gist for the group.

7. The troublemaker, that’s always ready to enter wahala on everybody’s behalf.

8. The lover-babe, that is either in love or heart broken at any given time, never normal.

9. The hustler, with 2 jobs and 6 side hustles, she can hook you up with anything you need.

10. The fashion mama, forever dressed to kill and ready to slay.

11. The suspicious one, that doesn’t trust anybody including herself!

12. The confused one, that never knows what’s happening.

13. The rude one, that talks to anybody anyhow.

1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.

1. When you are arguing with a policeman and then you realise you don’t have your driving license.

2. When your mother asks you if she looks fat in a dress and you say yes.

3. When you tell your mother-in-law her food is a bit salty.

4. When your dad asks you where he should keep something and you ask him to put it on your head.

5. When your boyfriend asks you if you love him and you say “not yet”.

6. When you lie to your best friend that her make up slays and she offers to do it for you.

7. When your aunty is getting carried away in church and is adding jara to her testimony and you start laughing.

8. When your dad asks if you remember your uncle and you say “oh you mean the one you said is a scammer”.

9. When your friend asks you if her baby is cute and you say “well it depends on the angle sha”.

10. When your boyfriend asks if you love him more than your ex and you say “well…”.

1. When you can no longer do ordinary times table because you are used to using a calculator.

2. When you can no longer ignore instructions from your boss because of instant messages and email reminders.

3. When you can no longer lie about not knowing where a place is thanks to online maps

4. When you can no longer pretend you are unaware your crush is a dummy because of social media.

5. Now it’s difficult to repeat clothes too often because people will cast you on social media.

6. When you are in a situation where you can’t ask google and now you look like a dummy.

7. When you learned to drive with an automatic car and someone asks you to drive a manual.

8. When there is no microwave and you are expected to use the stove to warm food.

9. When there is no light or internet and you don’t know how to have fun without them anymore.

1. The amebo, that thinks everyone’s business is his/her birthright.

2. The one whose children are always coming to look for people’s trouble in the office.

3. The funny one, that can turn every and anything into a joke.

4. The lazy one, that never does any work but always want to share in the credit for work done.

5. The party rider, that always has a function to attend even if it’s Monday.

6. The one that’s always bring smelling concoctions in the name of lunch.

7. The fighter, that always has one person or the other to drag to HR.

8. The grumpy one, that doesn’t like associating with people in or out of the office.

9. The one that starts foolish debates every day for fun.

10. The secretive one, that would hide his/her name if it wasn’t necessary information at the office.

1. According to my mother’s prophet, our stars are not compatible.

2. I consulted with my coven, and they feel it’s best we go our separate ways.

3. My spirit husband said I have been paying too much attention to you and so our time is up.

4. You know that time I said I loved you, I was joking and it has gone too far.

5. I’m married and my husband has put magun on me.

6. My mother had a dream….

7. The group chat has decided it’s time for you to get to stepping.

8. I don’t want to have to use you for rituals, so I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.

9. My father said if you come near me again he will kill you.

10. I now realise that I prefer your brother.

1. So you’re not in the mood to be productive at the office today.

2. And you need ideas to waste time but seem very busy while doing nothing.

3. As usual, we are here for you.

4. First of all, take the longest route to work and complain about how terrible traffic is.

5. Then set meetings… for everything.

6. During the meetings, ask for clarification and then ask stupid questions, to make sure the meeting lasts long.

7. After the meeting, set a follow up meeting to discuss what you just discussed at the meeting.