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1. Having to go to work everyday, instead of chilling and sleeping.

2. When you have to live on a budget as opposed to splurging like your inner big boy.

3. Your Nigerian passport, that doesn’t allow you go anywhere without a visa.

4. One million of hours of traffic, every single day.

5. That boyfriend/girlfriend that won’t let you find happiness with someone else.

6. The current inflation rate, that is holding back your flexing levels.

7. The fact that Wizkid has not yet given us another album.
1. Since Trump became President, Americans have not allowed the rest of the world hear word.

2. Everyday one palaver after another.

3. Are they the first?

4. Today they say he wants to ban everybody.

5. Tomorrow, it’s that he wants to use his office to make money.

6. So are they too good to manage corruption and incompetence?

7. The rest of us around the world doing it, do we have two heads?

8. Then they started complaining that Russia interfered in their election.

9. But hasn’t America been interfering in all the elections in the third world since 19whatever?

10. Did we die?

11. Okay many people died, but we are still here!

12. But wait, did they not vote for the Trump man?

13. So what’s all this crying and shouting?

14. This is all of us, laughing at the fact the we don’t have the monopoly on bad and nonsense leadership.

15. Welcome to the club, America!
1. When someone serves you just one piece of meat, you’re like:

2. When you already have your own boyfriend, but then you meet someone that’s cuter or richer.

3. This is you during any sales online or in store.

4. When your friends want to start making other friends.

5. But when they complain you’re making too many friends and no longer have their time, you’re like:

6. When someone tries to give you indomie that is anything but hungry man size:

7. When you get only one souvenir out of eight at a wedding, you start complaining, like:

8. This is you when people have the guts to call you greedy just because you want more out of life!

9. Is it your fault they have such low expectations?

10. Besides, don’t they know…
1. Every day people talk about the friend zone and being friend zoned like it’s a bad thing.

2. But there are many benefits oh!

3. Oh, you want to argue?

4. No problem, let us tell you some of them!

5. You get all the benefits of a close friendship.

6. Without the wahala of a relationship.

7. This is you on their birthday or any other special occasion, when you are under no obligation to buy presents or spend money.

8. You can waste their time and energy emotionally but guess what, “just a friend”.

9. Their family loves you, a lot of times more than their actual partner.

10. You get to irritate people for free, especially their partner.
1. All the shops selling “Val’s day gift” as if it’s not normal items in red packaging!

2. All the restaurants that suddenly think their food is romantic and extra special. Let’s hear word please!

3. All the people that claim in their own relationship, “everyday is a holiday”.

4. People that started dating 30 minutes ago, but are now professionals in loving and being loved.

5. People that claim they don’t care about the day, but have been talking about it since January 14.

6. Broke people, that think we don’t know it’s because things are tight “valentine’s day is very frivolous”.

7. People with too much money, who spend hours talking about their plans for the day.

8. People that are not sure of their relationship status, so keep asking every Tobi, Emeka and Ahmed whether or not they should buy a present!

9. People that are tired of each other, but are still dragging themselves because “long term relationship”.

10. Peple that have not finished minding their own business, but want to mind yours.

11. And those people that played and won Diamond Bank’s Shoe Game.

Do you want to pepper everybody on Valentine’s day? Take this test to show everybody how Valentine’s day is done.

Take this test to show everybody how Valentine’s day is done.
1. When you are rolling in pain and they are busy asking you questions calmly as if you are not about to die.

2. When the doctor is smiling at you like a predator so you know your life for the next few days is ruined and stinky.

3. When they say your problem is a “minor issue” but their bill is still a major headache!

4. When they bring out a big axe after telling you “it’s just a small injection”.

5. When they don’t warn you about the terrible taste of some medicines when they ask you to take them.

6. When they introduce you to some human beings that are meant to be nurses but they behave like witches.

7. When they say “small surgery” as if such a thing exists.

8. When they start asking you about next of kin so now you know they are colluding to kill you.

9. When you feel better and want to thank your God in peace but the doctor starts looking at you somehow.
1. So out of nowhere your oga decides to travel.

2. First he says it’s a family issue.

3. Then small time he changes mouth and says it’s for a much needed holiday.

4. Next thing, you hear that it’s a medical issue.

5. When you ask what type of medical issue, he’s like:

6. Okay no problem! What of a return date?

7. Small time his PA starts saying he has spoken to someone, who has spoken to someone who has spoken to him, and all is well.

8. So even oga’s PA too no longer has direct access!

9. Meanwhile oga is uploading snazzy pics on facebook.

10. Making new friends and feeling funky!

11. The long and short of the story is, which day are you coming back sir?
1. So everyday someone calls you troublesome or stubborn.

2. And you really don’t think you’re that bad…

3. Or are you?

4. Just because you don’t answer people when they mispronounce your name.

5. And you don’t laugh at those awkward, rubbish jokes in the office.

6. And when something is going on, you prefer due process, which apparently wastes time.

7. So, because you are a normal person, people now say you have wahala!

8. It’s not their fault, people don’t have sense, and you do!
1. When you try to explain to your conservative friends what casual dating is, they’re like:

2. When mumu people mix up casual dating and casual sex.

3. When you’re just trying to have drinks and someone starts mentioning “future”.

4. When there aren’t that many places to go so you have to start calculating how often you can go to one place with different men.

5. When someone catches feelings you didn’t ask them to.

6. When your parents start giving you the side eye because they haven’t heard the same name twice.

7. When you start mixing people up, because heavy rotation.

8. When you bump into someone you went on a date with in the past, while on another date.
1. When you bump into a cute guy at store only to hear “abi you’re blind”.

2. When you lean in for the first kiss only for someone in the background to shout “ashawooooo”.

3. When you kiss in the rain and now you have a cough and cold….

4. … And your weave is still itching 4 days later.

5. When he tries to run after you in the airport only to get slapped by a soldier for “trying nonsense”.

6. When his mother doesn’t like you and instead of saying “I love her mum” he gives you red card.

7. When the romantic music in the background is Terry G’s “Knack you akpako”.

8. When you pour your heart out in the dramatic scene only to hear “so that’s why you are shouting”?

9. When you try to do “if you love him, let him go” and he doesn’t come back…

10. .. But is getting married instead, to one girl with a bigger bum than you.

11. When you quit your job to chase your dreams but this is Nigeria so your dreams cannot do anything for you.

12. When you try to go on a long romantic drive only to enter 4 hour traffic.

13. When you meet the love of your life and now his girlfriend is subbing you on social media.

14. There are no young, rich, handsome AND single men here. All are married.

15. If you think we are lying, try and live your life like a rom-com in Nigeria. We will be here to laugh at you.

1. Having to go to work everyday, instead of chilling and sleeping.

2. When you have to live on a budget as opposed to splurging like your inner big boy.

3. Your Nigerian passport, that doesn’t allow you go anywhere without a visa.

4. One million of hours of traffic, every single day.

5. That boyfriend/girlfriend that won’t let you find happiness with someone else.

6. The current inflation rate, that is holding back your flexing levels.

7. The fact that Wizkid has not yet given us another album.

1. Since Trump became President, Americans have not allowed the rest of the world hear word.

2. Everyday one palaver after another.

3. Are they the first?

4. Today they say he wants to ban everybody.

5. Tomorrow, it’s that he wants to use his office to make money.

6. So are they too good to manage corruption and incompetence?

7. The rest of us around the world doing it, do we have two heads?

8. Then they started complaining that Russia interfered in their election.

9. But hasn’t America been interfering in all the elections in the third world since 19whatever?

10. Did we die?

11. Okay many people died, but we are still here!

12. But wait, did they not vote for the Trump man?

13. So what’s all this crying and shouting?

14. This is all of us, laughing at the fact the we don’t have the monopoly on bad and nonsense leadership.

15. Welcome to the club, America!

1. When someone serves you just one piece of meat, you’re like:

2. When you already have your own boyfriend, but then you meet someone that’s cuter or richer.

3. This is you during any sales online or in store.

4. When your friends want to start making other friends.

5. But when they complain you’re making too many friends and no longer have their time, you’re like:

6. When someone tries to give you indomie that is anything but hungry man size:

7. When you get only one souvenir out of eight at a wedding, you start complaining, like:

8. This is you when people have the guts to call you greedy just because you want more out of life!

9. Is it your fault they have such low expectations?

10. Besides, don’t they know…

1. Every day people talk about the friend zone and being friend zoned like it’s a bad thing.

2. But there are many benefits oh!

3. Oh, you want to argue?

4. No problem, let us tell you some of them!

5. You get all the benefits of a close friendship.

6. Without the wahala of a relationship.

7. This is you on their birthday or any other special occasion, when you are under no obligation to buy presents or spend money.

8. You can waste their time and energy emotionally but guess what, “just a friend”.

9. Their family loves you, a lot of times more than their actual partner.

10. You get to irritate people for free, especially their partner.

1. All the shops selling “Val’s day gift” as if it’s not normal items in red packaging!

2. All the restaurants that suddenly think their food is romantic and extra special. Let’s hear word please!

3. All the people that claim in their own relationship, “everyday is a holiday”.

4. People that started dating 30 minutes ago, but are now professionals in loving and being loved.

5. People that claim they don’t care about the day, but have been talking about it since January 14.

6. Broke people, that think we don’t know it’s because things are tight “valentine’s day is very frivolous”.

7. People with too much money, who spend hours talking about their plans for the day.

8. People that are not sure of their relationship status, so keep asking every Tobi, Emeka and Ahmed whether or not they should buy a present!

9. People that are tired of each other, but are still dragging themselves because “long term relationship”.

10. Peple that have not finished minding their own business, but want to mind yours.

11. And those people that played and won Diamond Bank’s Shoe Game.

Do you want to pepper everybody on Valentine’s day? Take this test to show everybody how Valentine’s day is done.

1. When you are rolling in pain and they are busy asking you questions calmly as if you are not about to die.

2. When the doctor is smiling at you like a predator so you know your life for the next few days is ruined and stinky.

3. When they say your problem is a “minor issue” but their bill is still a major headache!

4. When they bring out a big axe after telling you “it’s just a small injection”.

5. When they don’t warn you about the terrible taste of some medicines when they ask you to take them.

6. When they introduce you to some human beings that are meant to be nurses but they behave like witches.

7. When they say “small surgery” as if such a thing exists.

8. When they start asking you about next of kin so now you know they are colluding to kill you.

9. When you feel better and want to thank your God in peace but the doctor starts looking at you somehow.

1. So out of nowhere your oga decides to travel.

2. First he says it’s a family issue.

3. Then small time he changes mouth and says it’s for a much needed holiday.

4. Next thing, you hear that it’s a medical issue.

5. When you ask what type of medical issue, he’s like:

6. Okay no problem! What of a return date?

7. Small time his PA starts saying he has spoken to someone, who has spoken to someone who has spoken to him, and all is well.

8. So even oga’s PA too no longer has direct access!

9. Meanwhile oga is uploading snazzy pics on facebook.

10. Making new friends and feeling funky!

11. The long and short of the story is, which day are you coming back sir?

1. So everyday someone calls you troublesome or stubborn.

2. And you really don’t think you’re that bad…

3. Or are you?

4. Just because you don’t answer people when they mispronounce your name.

5. And you don’t laugh at those awkward, rubbish jokes in the office.

6. And when something is going on, you prefer due process, which apparently wastes time.