Be born somewhere else

It’s common knowledge that if you’re born in Nigeria, life is already leading you 1 – 0. So if you somehow get to travel back in time, it’s best to just change your nationality so you don’t have to deal with all this stress to start with.

Or japa when it was still cheap

You always think “It can’t get worse than this”, until Nigeria shocks you. We’re sure there’s nobody who won’t take a chance to japa in 2012, right before this advanced level of pepper started.

Dash Lord Lugard small malaria

We’re not saying he should die o, but he should just have small malaria that’ll make him too weak to bother about forcefully amalgamating Nigeria.

Stop Meffy from becoming CBN Governor

We’d go back to the time he first got into the race for CBN governor and flog all the stupid policy ideas out of his head.

Buy many bags of rice and keep

Show us one asset that has multiplied in value more than rice has in the past few years. We’ll wait.

Buy bitcoin in 2009

Who needs a dinner with Jay Z when you can travel back to 2009 and buy like 2,000 bitcoins for less than $1. Then you come back to 2023 and retire to your village forever.

Buy dollars before it crashed

We’d be ballers by now, rolling in money that’s been rendered worthless by inflation, but ballers nonetheless.

Not study Philosophy

The country is already making you think about your life, so why would you play yourself by studying a course that’ll only make you think more? We’re sure the people who studied this course are going back to undo their mistake the first chance they get.

Use their law school fees to fund their dreams

Instead of going to law school to study to practice law in a lawless country, we’re sure some people will either eat their tuition, or use it to fund their dreams, in the hopes of becoming the next Falz.

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.