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  • 1. When that your unemployed uncle is trying to lecture you about school.

    Well, this is awkward.

    2. When you’re about to travel and your mum says “I had a dream…”

    Hay God!

    3. When you hear your father’s horn at the gate and the whole house is scattered.

    It’s all over.

    4. When you open the icecream container in the freezer and see egusi soup.

    What is this life?

    5. When you’re playing outside without slippers and you see your father’s car approaching,

    Chineke!

    6. When that aunty that hasn’t seen you since you were born asks “do you remember me?”

    Adongerrit.

    7. When visitors come and your mum starts bringing out food and drinks you didn’t know were in the house.

    Oh? So we don’t deserve good food too, abi?

    8. When you open the container of Danish cookies and see needle and thread.

    Is it fair?

    9. When your father tells you to come and play with that cousin you don’t like.

    Oh God!

    10. When your mother that warned you not to eat anything at her friends house starts saying “eat na”.

    What will I now believe?

    11. When you say you can’t find something and you hear “if I come there and find it…”

    What is all this?

    12. When your mother calls you by your full government name.

    I’m in trouble

    13. When all your friends are going out but you’ve already gone out this month.

    The pain is real.

    14. When your mother tells you to clean your room because visitors are coming.

    Hian! Will they come and enter my room?

    15. When your parents finish beating you then start asking “why are you crying?”

    Are you joking?

    16. When your watch your mother price a shoe from N15,000 down to N1,500.

    Mama the mama.

    17. When you ask your father if you can go out and he says “go and ask your mother.”

    Na wa for una.

  • 1. When your mum is calling your sibling and you try to help.

    https://twitter.com/ms_hanie/status/712009407496916992

    2. When your father sees you doing anything that doesn’t relate to your education.

    https://twitter.com/sirDaccoh/status/681629451445243904

    3. When your mum takes everything literally.

    https://twitter.com/Khordeleah/status/679978719281319936

    4. When you bring one nonsense result home to your father.

    5. When your mother gives you that death stare.

    https://twitter.com/malik_pinmouth/status/629016278972370944

    6. When you try to be cool with your father,

    7. When your mother tells you to clean the house and you do rubbish,

    8. When you want to misbehave and your mother reminds you where you came from.

    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/698252563561447426

    9. When your mother expects you to be able to read her mind.

    10. When your mother jumps form 0 to 100 just like that.

    https://twitter.com/Oj_Philz/status/639551201130999808

    11. When your mother starts making you consider money ritual.

    12. When you don’t get the best score humanly possible.

    https://twitter.com/ochman101/status/656143509087457280

    13. When you tell your mother you can’t find something.

    https://twitter.com/chuuzzy/status/576654410719318016

    14. When you ask your father for money.

    15. When you hear this song and you know it’s a fresh round of prayers.

  • I know we are used to Nigerian mothers serving face, but I think Nigerian fathers are underrated. I mean, these men talk in faces!!

    1. When you try to remind him about the money he promised you.

    Jeez, Dad!

    2. Or when you randomly ask him for anything.

    I mean, you’re my dad right?

    3. When you say something incredibly stupid.

    And you just wish you had shut up.

    4. When you offend your mom, and he has to discipline you…

    …but he secretly doesn’t want to. And now he has to and it’s all your fault.

    5. When you deliberately go against his advice and you get this familiar face.

    You should’ve just listened.

    6. When your teacher is reporting you to him.

    You better be very afraid!

    7. When he’s trying to let you know that your beatdown is coming.

    Yup! It’s about to be lit.

    8. When he’s watching the news or football and you change the channel.

    LMAO! Are you mad?

    9. When you embarrass him in front of his friends.

    Oniranu!

    10. When you’ve done anything to ‘disgrace the family name’ and he hands you over to your mom.

    You’re her child now.

    11. When you personally let him down.

    You feel so crushed.

    12. When he’s explaining the relationship between you and your phone.

    But he’s not even mad.

    13. When you tell him you’re going out of the house.

    Be going. Sha come back.

    14. When you come back home late and he’s waiting like…

    …go back to where you’re coming from.

    15. When you people are forcing him to watch Telemundo or Nollywood.

    You cannot come and kill me.

    16. When you come home with 1.4 CGPA and still ask for a new phone.

    Are you stupid?

    17. When you serve him food without water.

    See your life!

    18. When you start explaining the technicalities of your course to him.

    Wo! Carry your wahala and be going.

    19. When your father finds your Twitter page, and he cannot believe this is his child.

    Kai!

    20. When you ask your dad if he’s proud of you.

    LOL, afi pride!

    21. When your dad is punishing you sibling and you start laughing.

    You want stray slap abi?

    But sometimes, sometimes, your dad can turn up with the best of them.

    Like when those traditional drums come on!