Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old cam girl who started camming a year ago. In this time, camming has taught her a lot about sex, her body and how to make money supporting lonely clients during the coronavirus pandemic.
When did you first become curious about sex?
You know how most of us played “mummy and daddy” as children? Well, I did a lot of that. I believe that was where my awareness of sex and sexuality started. But the first time I actually had sex was in university.
How did that happen?
I was 17 or 18, and my partner and I had been dating for a few months. We used to only go as far as foreplay, until one day when he was giving me head — which he was pretty good at — and I was so horny. He asked if I wanted sex and I said yes. And that was it.
How was it?
He was careful, but it still hurt. It subsequently got better.
What were your expectations before you had sex?
I didn’t really have the high expectations I have now.
I’m currently discovering things about my body and sex that I didn’t previously know about and I’m discovering these things through camming.
Wait… what’s that?
Camming is basically teasing, talking, masturbating or having live sex in front of a camera. It’s all up to the performer, who may decide to stream only for the fun of it or for money.
That’s interesting. How did you discover camming?
I first saw a post on Nairaland last year about a girl masturbating in an Uber. I was drawn to that particular post because I could only imagine how turned on the driver was. So I read comments below the post and found someone explaining that she was probably a cam girl, streaming to a site and that the Uber driver was most likely her boyfriend. That was how camming got my attention.
And you just went right into it?
Yup! I remember asking my boyfriend at the time if he ever heard about camming and he said his friend knew a cam girl who got paid a lot of money for teasing people and masturbating on camera. I decided I wanted to try and he was open to the idea of joining me sometimes.
Did he ever?
Yup. I remember the day he joined me, we were amazed by the number of viewers we had. It was a lot.
How old were you when you started camming?
I was 24.
Did it ever feel uncomfortable?
Nope. I was very excited to try. I was like a child who just found a new playground with many different toys. Maybe it’s because I’m not religious, but I don’t place the same values on our norms and culture. My simple goal in life is happiness.
When people started to join my cam feed, I was even more excited to tease them. Later on I had to register to receive tips from viewers. If there was one thing I wasn’t comfortable with, it was communication with the viewers. Took a while to get used to that.
How long have you been camming?
About a year now.
In this time, how exactly has camming changed your sex life?
Camming has taught me more about pleasure. It has definitely upped my sex life. What I get now is raw, unfiltered orgasms. On camera, I squirt multiple times and don’t feel embarrassed or awkward.
I just go with all my orgasms and enjoy them as they come. In real life, it’s not always that simple. Some people think you’re peeing on them when you squirt.
I also have a lot of orgams.
Like how many?
More than seven on a good day.
Having a lot of orgasms only makes my day better. I am almost never angry, even with how stressful Nigeria can be. I go through my day with a lot of ease, and it helps me see the world differently.
Camming has also made me more sexually empowered. I feel good about my sexuality and I don’t really care about what the society thinks of it.
I also love myself more. I have learned to appreciate the things I used to take for granted about my body. It’s a huger self-esteem boost. While most girls are out there trying to bleach and look like a white girl (no judgement), I’m out here looking for the best cocoa butter cream to make my dark skin glow.
Nice. Does NEPA or poor internet stress you?
Yup! You know how bad power can be. It sucks when I want to stream at night and there is no light. Then you now add the annoying sound of generators. Even though my fans don’t mind it, it pisses me off big time. So sometimes I just don’t cam at night Sometimes the internet sucks, but it’s still manageable.
How do you get paid?
I receive payment through Bitcoin. There are other options, but I prefer Bitcoin.
What’s your daily income like?
There is no standard income. A cam girl may make as low as $1 or as high as $1000 (or more) in a day. Making money depends on a lot of factors: the amount of time you stream, the people in your room, your fan base, your mood that day and so much more.
Have you made up to $1000 a day before?
If you include the cut from the website, yes. But after deducting the site fee and all, it was a lot less. That is not to say it happens often. I just had someone who appreciated my show a lot that day.
How is being a live cammer different from, say, opening an onlyfans?
I’ve never tried those clip sites, like OnlyFans and the rest. I particularly enjoy camming because it’s live, interactive and relationship based. I meet people, I share my sexuality, I make them horny as fuck. I like camming a lot better. But I get requests from some of my viewers asking me to join those kind of sites for them. Who knows? I may give it a shot and see if I enjoy it.
What are the clients like?
There are more men than women — they’re from all over the world. They’re mostly cool people. But it is not without its handful of crazy people. I once had a crazy stalker online who would come with new names every day to give me a bad rating because I won’t let him get to know me more. Luckily, he stopped with the bad reviews after I threatened to block all of the UK.
Will you tell a new sexual partner about this part of your life?
I won’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t tell. It has to be someone very open-minded. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
How has this lockdown/quarantine period affected your work?
For me, it has meant more people. Some camgirls say people are not spending because of the uncertainty of the economy after the pandemic. Luckily for me, I have been making more and not less.
Why do you think your income has risen during this time?
I stream a lot more this period. The lockdown leaves me with a lot of free time.
What preconceptions about virtual sex work would you like people to throw away.
There is the assumption that camming means easy money. Some girls even register on camming sites for this reason and what was meant to be fun and empowering turns around and becomes all about the money. That usually leads to depression and low self-esteem.
How would you rate your sex life now on the scale of 1-10.
11. For obvious reasons.