Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 26-year-old man who suffers from erectile dysfunction. He talks about overcompensating during sex because of his low self esteem, discovering sexual enhancers that helped and what it’s like having a dick that works and sometimes doesn’t.
Tell me about the first time you had sex.
I was 17 and it was with a girl I had been friends with. It happened at her parent’s house on a Sunday. We were making out when I decided I was ready to have sex. Since she was more experienced, she took the lead. She got on top and rode me for a while. When I turned her over, I got a few strokes in and came.
Exactly. After that, I had sex once more with her, and didn’t have sex again till I was 19.
No sex for a whole year? What happened?
First of all, I was so fucking ugly. Secondly, 18 was when I gained admission into university. I had a whole new reality and just spent that year trying to adapt. Girls weren’t really in the equation.
But the equation was solved when you were 19.
Yes. I was with this girl who was also a friend, and we just had this very intense make out session.I was ready to go, but she wanted to give me a blowjob before we went all the way. Once my dick entered her mouth, it went limp.
She felt so bad and thought she did something wrong. When we tried to meet up to have sex again, the same thing happened, and I just chalked it up to not being attracted to her. That was until I tried different partners and the same thing happened.
Omo. How did you process that?
It almost ruined my self-esteem. I was a very sexual person, but every time women wanted to make out with me or something, I’d have to excuse myself because I didn’t want to be embarrassed.
My confidence was low, and I started to overcompensate. I would make sure I pulled a lot of tricks with my fingers and my tongue. Since my dick was moving mad, I had to use all the tools at my disposal to make sure they had a good time. Maybe that’s why they kept coming back.
What if they came back because they liked your personality?
Well, my personality is likeable, but I’d rather believe it’s because I gave great head.
Also, because most of the women assumed they were the reason my dick wasn’t staying hard. They thought because of the things I did with my mouth and fingers, I had so many sexual partners and they just weren’t cutting it for me. I wish.
So what did you do about it?
Well, I started taking all these “agbo” and “opa eyin”. Yunno, all those “Mr strong man handle me well well” and other stories, but they didn’t work.
When did you realise this was a problem?
At 22 years old. There was this lady I had been sexting for a while, and I really hoped my dick would cooperate when we met up. Plot twist, it did not. She was so disappointed because all the sexting we had been doing heightened her expectations.
After that day, I did a bit of research on what was going on with me, and then I finally had a name for it. Erectile dysfunction. During my research I also found out that a lot of men not only have erectile dysfunction, but premature ejaculation.
However, all this sebrededebrede wasn’t what I needed. I needed solutions.
Did you find any?
Yes, I did. Still at the ripe age of 22, I followed my friend to a mashai in his area and saw some packs on his shelf with big dick drawn on them. When I asked him what it was, he said it was manpower.
I bought one and rescheduled a date with the last girl. She was hesitant at first because of what happened the last time, but she came over eventually. When she came, she came.
Just like that?
LMAO. Not exactly like that. I was a bit nervous before she arrived because I thought it was going to fail like the other herbal mixtures. But when she put my dick in her mouth and I was still hard? I knew I had won.
The sex was amazing, and I tried out many sexual positions I had been imagining. My moment was here, and I was ready to take full advantage of it. We had about three rounds before I had to tap out.
New power unlocked.
I decided sexual enhancers were the solution to my problem and kept using them consistently for three years. Whenever I wanted to fuck, I’d have to take enhancers before time.
When I was 25 though, I noticed something different. Someone came over, and I didn’t even know we were going to fuck, plus I was out of enhancers at the time. However, one thing led to another and sex was had and it was good.
How did that happen?
I don’t even know what it is, but I know I don’t need enhancers as much as I used to. It seems like my erectile dysfunction has reduced — if that’s possible. All I know is that on some days the dick works and some days it doesn’t.
I don’t even know what causes it to act the way it does, but it doesn’t bother me. I still use my sex enhancers quite frequently.
Even though you don’t need to?
Yes. They make the sex better; it’s what enhancers do. Why will I want to have mid sex when I can have great sex?
Gotcha. What then will you rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10?
7. Not to toot my own horn, but I think sex with me is pretty good.