Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be in a queer relationship to have gender-neutral pet names for your partner, If anything, it helps normalise this for queer people. You also score big with your partner for trying to validate them by coming up with a cute pet name. Typically, the best way to go is to ask them what feels comfortable for them. However, if you keep coming up blank, this list will help.
Here are 10 gender neutral pet names other than “partner”.
1. Significant Other
This is a sweet but not-so-soft pet name that shows your partner that they are important to you. It’s endearing and is the perfect gender neutral pet name for people who want their partners to feel like very special coworkers.
2. Love Tyrant
Love has a tyrannical way of walking into your life and making a home there, so it’s fitting to call your partner this, plus it’ll make them laugh. If you want to get more specific, call them Love Hitler. Go crazy with it.
3. Cuddle Buddy
After serious research, we’ve come to the conclusion that 90% of being in a relationship is just cuddling, which is why this is the perfect gender-neutral name for your partner.
4. Hoodie Thief
Imagine being in a restaurant and saying “Hoddie thief, pass the bread.” It’s a funny pet name and also addresses a real problem. Maybe, just maybe they’ll stop stealing your hoodies. Either that or they don’t have shame, and this will just make them steal more.
5. Food thief
If you have that partner that never wants anything to eat when you’re buying food but their appetite returns from war when you’re eating, you can’t go wrong with this pet name. Call them this or exactly what they are; Long Throat.
6. Blood circulation restrictor
There should be an award for the people in relationships that give up their hands in the name of cuddling. If you are always the big spoon, here’s the perfect gender-neutral pet name for your partner. This also works if you two like to choke each other. Just don’t overdo it because then the surviving one would have to change their name to “murderer.”
7. Boss
What do you call the person at work that orders you around? Boss. It’s only right that you also reserve that name for the person who orders your heart around.
8. My inevitable social suicide
Some people get into relationships and never leave their houses again. They just chill with their partners inside until they break up. If this is you, you are welcome.
9. My side quest
If you are in a relationship where you guys enjoy each other but don’t expect anything more from each other, then this is the perfect pet name. These types of partners don’t influence your life positively or negatively. In the end, it’s all love. Or whatever you two want to call it.
10. Supreme meme overlord
This is the partner that sends you all the funny posts they come across online. The basis of your relationship is that they send you funny memes to make you happy… It’ll make you laugh every time they call and your phone reads out their name.
QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Biggest Pet Peeve?
