Once upon a time, I recapped an insane Christian book that claimed the devil created football as a tool to destroy humanity. The article’s popularity made me turn my recaps into a weekly series named “So You Don’t Have To“, where I find batshit crazy pieces of media (books, movies, etc) and recap them for your pleasure.
Nigerian music videos are…somehow. They’ve always been somehow. And over the years, they’ve just evolved into a different kind of somehow-ness. For that reason, I’ve always wanted to include them in the “So You Don’t Have To” series. Well, the time has come. And what better music video to start with than Styl Plus’ “Call My Name,” or as I like to call it, “A Tale Of How A Bunch Of Guys Creep Out A Girl In A Restaurant Just Because She’s Sitting By Herself.”
For those who don’t know, Styl Plus is an R&B/Pop group that burst on to the scene in the early 2000s with their hit single, “Olufunmi.”. They were so hot at the time that all they had to do was stand on a stage and sing and people everywhere would violently cream their jeans. In 2003, they released a song titled “Call My Name.” The song is an eternal bop but when you pointlessly dissect it like I’m about to, the storyline is kinda weird.
The video starts with a girl walking into a restaurant, dressed in a way that lets you know that this is the early 2000s.
It’s been 18 years and I still wonder if the light show going on behind that glass is lightning or faulty fluorescent lighting.
All three members of Styl Plus (Tunde, Shiffi, and Zeal) are seated on a couch in the restaurant, ogling the hell out of this girl as she walks in.
Styl Plus’ managers and production team at the time make a cameo in the video and ask the audience a question.
The first verse starts. Shiffi sings about how he has seen the girl — who is sitting at a table for two and has ordered two glasses of champagne — whisper something to the waiter so that MUST mean she’s asking the waiter to call him.
Ooh babe, ooh babe,
Can I pour your wine ooh babe
I heard a whisper of my name (whisper of my name}
Did you call my name
Say baby did you call my name
All three Styl Plus members are singing from the POV of one person, which they do in all their songs. Because they make mostly love songs, I always imagine them in a foursome with whichever girl they’re singing about.
Tunde picks up in the second verse, and in it, wonders why the waiter hasn’t called him yet even though it’s been twenty minutes since the girl spoke to the waiter. After a while, he decides to go up to the girl and whisper in her ear.
Zeal sings the third verse and takes the weirdness up a 100 notches when he leans in to smell her hair.
While he’s dancing and sniffing her like a weirdo, this happens:
I expect the boyfriend to whoop Zeal’s ass for trying to move in on his girl but he doesn’t. In fact, neither the girl nor her boyfriend acknowledge him. They just say hi to each other, hug, and leave the restaurant, leaving Zeal standing there looking stupid.
It seems like all hope is lost until the waiter approaches Zeal and gives him a piece of paper…
…with the girl’s number on it.
Notice that the girl’s name is Funmi. THE Olufunmi from the song “Olufunmi.” We love an extended music video universe!
Zeal and his friends throw their fists in the air and the video ends.
So now I’m like, yeah, things worked out well because the girl ended up being down with the shit. But can you imagine how creepy the concept for this video would be if she wasn’t and a man did all that just because he thought he heard her whisper his name to a waiter in a noisy restaurant?
Think about it. Or don’t. Everything in this article is just banter I’ve had with my other personalities.