Oscars 2020: 5 Things That Would’ve Gone Wrong If It Held In Lagos

February 11, 2020

Oscars 2020 happened on Sunday night, the 10th of February, 2020 and made history, while being broadcast without a hitch on ABC. Korean movie, Parasite, became the first foreign-language film to win the awards for both Best International Feature Film and Best Picture. The movie’s director also won the Best Director and Best Original Screenplay awards.

Whoop dee doo.

Because I have a problem, I’m here today to talk about how the show would’ve gone if it had held in Lagos.

1) The sound quality would’ve been shit.

A staple of any award show that happens in Nigeria is sound quality so shitty it’ll make your ears bleed. Year after year, it’s the same and no one knows why.

2) At some point, the wrong name would’ve been displayed on the screen as the winner of some award, leading to the audience thinking that there’s treachery afoot when the real winner comes out to collect.

Not knowing that it’s really the fault of the graphic designers.

3) Nepa would’ve taken light at least once.

That’s when we’ll find out, when the power comes back, on that like three Oscars 2020 statues went missing during the blackout.

4) Like half of the night’s winners would be absent for random reasons.

With 90% of them most like likely stuck in Sanwo Olu’s traffic.

5) Attendees present in the hall would’ve been watch ads along with TV viewers.

There’s this popular Nigerian award show that prides itself on being the Nigerian Grammys. I attended it two years ago and almost slit my own throat in frustration when I realized that we in the hall were being forced to watch ads like the viewers at home.

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