7 Songs Children Had No Business Dancing To In The Early 2000s

June 9, 2020

1. Kelis – Milkshake

Kelis once said in an interview that the title of the song means “the thing that makes women special. It’s what gives us our confidence and what makes us exciting.” Well, I call bullshit because ‘Milkshake’ is obviously as a euphemism for boobs.

2. Tony Matterhorn – Dutty Wine

This smash riddim dance track found its way into the playlists at Nigerian KIDS PARTIES due to the fact that its dirty lyrics were disguised in an accent difficult to understand for those not familiar with it. Here are a few lines from the song’s second verse:

It reads like he’s describing a particularly violent game of Twister

3. Nelly – Hot in Here

I wonder what my parents would’ve done if they knew I was at my primary school end of the year party bumping to a song that was clearly about a house party that turns into an orgy because of global warming.

4. Aqua – Barbie Girl

The iconic ode to Barbie (and her partner, Ken) was riddled with so much sexual innuendo that the group was sued by Mattel, the makers of the Barbie doll, for violating their trademark and turning the children’s toy into a sex object.

And you danced to it at your church’s bazaar while your parents cheered you on.

5. Rupee – Tempted To Touch

The song is from the POV of a guy waxing on about a sexy girl on the dancefloor he’s tempted to touch and hold tight because he has a raging boner for her. Enough said.

6. Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath

This song starts with a woman’s voice that screams “HIT ME!” and then segues into a 3 minute and 33-second long shaming session where Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle berate their lovers for not being able to keep up with them sexually. None of this mattered though because we were too busy grinding to it at birthday dancing competitions.

7) Kevin Lyttle -Turn Me On

The name of the song alone.

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 21, 2021

As told to Femi A couple of weeks ago, I put out a tweet looking to speak with young people dealing with hypertension. Ehimen reached out to me. Our conversation spanned beyond hypertension to other issues. Here’s his story. It all began in my final year at the university when I was 19. I think […]

April 21, 2021

Tough times are really lasting, and the thought of using someone for money ritual looks more appealing. However, the fear of God is also real so you don’t know how to run it. Well, that’s where we come in. Here are some steps to enable you perform money ritual in a way that pleases God. […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Pop

April 16, 2021

Everyone knows Nigerian universities are designed to break you. But when you’re the god of thunder, it should be easy, right? On this episode of #JustImagine, we reimagine Thor as a Nigerian student named, Tomiwa. Campus Hostel Bode, Tomiwa’s friend and roommate, is standing outside the hostel addressing a small crowd. The crowd is agitated. […]

April 14, 2021

Quick-fire camera flashes, hot stilettos and distinct music characterized the cool ambience at the venue of Desperados’ celebrity influencer showcase. The beer brand, which was first launched in Nigeria last December is known to be the charm of celebrities who dared to stand out from the crowd. It was no surprise that Mercy Eke, Timini […]

April 14, 2021

If you could transform your love for music into a full-blown career, which would it be? Let’s give you some pointers. Take this quiz. A career in music means you’ll most likely work to bring amazing stuff like Jameson’s Confluence Project, curated by Mainland Block Party. Go here to stream and enjoy the mashup vibes. […]

April 8, 2021

To say that Nollywood has given us more than enough ‘WTF is happening’ movies to last us a lifetime is an understatement. Today, we are going to go through four movie franchises from Nollywood that had us going “WTF?!” from start to finish. Blackberry Babes The fact this franchise even exists stresses me in ways […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X