If you work at a capitalist evil enterprise and have already resumed for the year, I stand with you. Today is JANUARY 5th. Tell me, why I’m hopping on a quick call with Dammy to discuss (admittedly exciting) plans for Q1. I’m meant to be in the bosom of my lover, reminiscing on the past few weeks of holiday. What happened to resuming on the 9th, an actual Monday?

If you too have already resumed, you’d relate to these a bit too much. 

This was you in December when they announced what date you’d resume in January

January 2nd? No wahala. When we get to that bridge, we’ll cross it. Let’s close for the year first. 

Then the day drew closer, and you began to realise

Wait o. January 2nd??? These people don’t even want us to enter the new year properly. 

This was you the night before

God, abeg, don’t let tomorrow come.

And the morning of resumption 

What am I even doing with my life, oh God?

You trying to remember your Gmail password

ÏHateCap!talisM101″

When you hear your Slack notification sound 

This thing can give someone PTSD.

This is you in traffic, wondering if you’re really going to do this for the rest of your life

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The answer is yes.

When you look at the Calendar and see there’s no public holiday until April

We actually need to discuss this. 

On top of that, you’re broke, and salary is still three weeks away

Time out, abeg. Is this money thing even worth it?

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