5 Things About Starting My First Job I Wish Someone Had Told Me

February 12, 2020

From an early age, I was told I had only one task: “Go-to-school–find-a-job-get-married-and-start-a-family.”

Sounds easy right? right?

If I could go back in time, I would probably slap everyone who gave me such an easy to read version of events. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!

My first year of holding down a 9-5 was filled with so many wtf moments that no one prepared me for in any way. Why didn’t anyone say something? even a whisper?

Well, I don’t have up to 10 years of experience, but here’s what I have learned from my years of frauding it.

1) So, this is it?

I remember missing school in my first week of work. I mean I hated uni with everything in me so missing it was a red flag. The many long hours at work made me ask: “Is this my life till I die?” it’s one thing to be told, it’s another thing to actually experience something.

However, in time, I settled into the work routine. I had some good days, bad days, and many meh days. I just wished I had a lirru bit of warning that my chest would be tight.

Tired man Zikoko Job

2) If you repeat clothes, most people will not notice:

Well, except the person crushing on you at work. See, everyone is overwhelmed with their workload to care about what you are wearing. If you wear different shirts, same jeans, you won’t die. It can be relieving to have one less thing to worry about.

Obama winking Zikoko Job

3) If you must poop, do it now:

Everyone loves to take a dump at home in the comfort of privacy but life doesn’t always give you what you want. This is not a Harlequin super romance novel. So, when the option of waiting till you get home is not available, it’s perfectly okay to do number 2 at work. Your shit may even inspire others to start to give a shit.

toilet roll Zikoko job

4) Always separate work from self:

Your oga at work will probably correct you one too many times. This is not like school where these things mean you have failed. Also, it doesn’t mean you will get fired after one constructive feedback. Blow off steam, reflect on feedback, and make corrections where necessary.

Remember, it’s possible to be successful in your personal life and not be doing well at work. Don’t let one aspect eclipse the other.

sex education Job ZIkoko

5) Ole ni everybody:

From your boss to the colleague who seems cock-sure, we are all trying to fraud our way at looking competent at the job. At the end of the day, we all still struggle with imposter syndrome and doubts.

The trick, however, is to silence the voice of doubt in your head and keep putting one leg in front of the other. After all, your current role is supposed to prepare you to fraud your way into your next job.

Don’t break, don’t panic, you are not alone.

Girls hugging Job Zikoko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Stealing
July 2, 2022

Most Lagosians have a Computer Village story; some are hilarious and others are terrifying. They range from buying a phone and seeing semo inside the box when you get home, to having someone shake your hand and realising five minutes later that your phone is gone. If you have a Computer Village horror story, you […]

Hollywood conference
July 2, 2022

The 12th edition of ZUFF, Nollywood’s major film festival, raised the question of whether the world’s second-largest film market by the number of films can tap the continent’s huge film-making potential and leverage changing economic and technological realities.

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

More from Hustle

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X