5 Things About Starting My First Job I Wish Someone Had Told Me

February 12, 2020

From an early age, I was told I had only one task: “Go-to-school–find-a-job-get-married-and-start-a-family.”

Sounds easy right? right?

If I could go back in time, I would probably slap everyone who gave me such an easy to read version of events. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!

My first year of holding down a 9-5 was filled with so many wtf moments that no one prepared me for in any way. Why didn’t anyone say something? even a whisper?

Well, I don’t have up to 10 years of experience, but here’s what I have learned from my years of frauding it.

1) So, this is it?

I remember missing school in my first week of work. I mean I hated uni with everything in me so missing it was a red flag. The many long hours at work made me ask: “Is this my life till I die?” it’s one thing to be told, it’s another thing to actually experience something.

However, in time, I settled into the work routine. I had some good days, bad days, and many meh days. I just wished I had a lirru bit of warning that my chest would be tight.

Tired man Zikoko Job

2) If you repeat clothes, most people will not notice:

Well, except the person crushing on you at work. See, everyone is overwhelmed with their workload to care about what you are wearing. If you wear different shirts, same jeans, you won’t die. It can be relieving to have one less thing to worry about.

Obama winking Zikoko Job

3) If you must poop, do it now:

Everyone loves to take a dump at home in the comfort of privacy but life doesn’t always give you what you want. This is not a Harlequin super romance novel. So, when the option of waiting till you get home is not available, it’s perfectly okay to do number 2 at work. Your shit may even inspire others to start to give a shit.

toilet roll Zikoko job

4) Always separate work from self:

Your oga at work will probably correct you one too many times. This is not like school where these things mean you have failed. Also, it doesn’t mean you will get fired after one constructive feedback. Blow off steam, reflect on feedback, and make corrections where necessary.

Remember, it’s possible to be successful in your personal life and not be doing well at work. Don’t let one aspect eclipse the other.

sex education Job ZIkoko

5) Ole ni everybody:

From your boss to the colleague who seems cock-sure, we are all trying to fraud our way at looking competent at the job. At the end of the day, we all still struggle with imposter syndrome and doubts.

The trick, however, is to silence the voice of doubt in your head and keep putting one leg in front of the other. After all, your current role is supposed to prepare you to fraud your way into your next job.

Don’t break, don’t panic, you are not alone.

Girls hugging Job Zikoko
Hassan Yahaya

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