Masculinity is being decoded around the world and redefined with the hopes and goals of it hopefully getting rid of the ‘toxic’ prefix we often see being placed next to masculinity. Today, we decided to hear from the horse’s mouth what it would change in masculinity and the behaviours of men. So we asked five Nigerian men what parts of being a man they would change in themselves or other men.
I wish more men were willing to free themselves from the chains they put on themselves. ‘A real man doesn’t use Snapchat filters’ ‘a real man doesn’t take pictures for his birthday’ ‘a real man doesn’t cry’ ‘a real man doesn’t watch xxx show’ etc. What sort of existence is that?
I wish men bonded over better things. A good number of all-male friendship groups bond over which girl they want to sleep with, slut-shaming women and sexual violence. And even those that don’t, I find that there’s a level of lack of emotional depth in plenty of male friendships. If you cry, wahala. If you get too deep, wahala. I want men to be more willing to connect deeply with each other without being weirded out.
I think for me it would be that fashion brands catering towards men would put in more efforts. The men section of boutiques are nothing to write home about, they are sad. I also wish men demanded a lot better and more from these fashion brands so there’ll actually be options. Women have a thousand options, we have shirts and trousers and in limited colours too.
Society need to stop defining men by their ability to provide or earn money. It’s unrealistic and unfair and frankly silly. These are human beings and not ATMs. If your family or girlfriends don’t rate you because you don’t have money, they don’t rate you. It’s your money they rate. You deserve better, king.
Men need to stop begging women to date them. It’s mad silly. If a babe says ‘no’ the first time, you should have enough self-respect to walk away and end it. You’ll see men chasing one babe for months on end, spending money and disturbing the girl and for what? Literally for what?