‘Fuck-boys’ means different things to different people and is often used as an insult when talking to/about men that are considered promiscuous. However, some men have no problem being called fuck-boys and view it as synonymous to ‘player’. I was curious about if there were Nigerian men out there who knew that they fell into this category or that other people view them as part of this category.
So I spoke to seven Nigerian men talk about when they realized they were fuck boys.
I think the day I realized that maybe I was what people called a fuck boy was the day I stepped out wearing ashawo shorts, slides and stepped out with condoms even though I wasn’t going to a hookup. The fact that I came back having used the condoms just cemented it all for me.
I work in tech and people tend to assume tech bros are fuck boys. It’s not our fault that being a nerd is suddenly considered hot. I don’t have a particular day that I realized I was a fuck boy but one day, I was using Twitter and was simultaneously organizing dates with different girls who probably wanted something serious. That was when it hit me that omo, maybe I am a fuck boy.
So one day, I came home with a girl. After the girl left, I was talking to my neighbour who has kids and one of the kids said something along the lines of ‘Uncle Greg, came home with one fine aunty.’ My neighbour asked me if it was someone she had seen stay at mine a week before. And before I could say anything, the kid said ‘no, not that one, another one. That one is aunty Gloria, the one that came before is aunty Chichi but I don’t know this one’. I was gobsmacked because how and when did I become that uncle?
I think for me I realized I was a fuck boy the day I opened Tinder around 1 PM, matched with someone, went to his house, had sex, came back home and then blocked him and then continued to browse Tinder. I still don’t know if that was fuck boy behaviour or just hoe behaviour but it was something.
I didn’t know I was a fuck boy till my ex told me I was while pursuing me from her house. At the time, I had lost a job so I was staying at hers and then she caught me texting another girl. So she threw my things out and the next thing, I was branded a fuck boy.
I saw a tweet about how to know if you’re a tech-bro or a fuck boy, they listed owning a cat, dyed hair or dreads, multiple piercings, does weed and watches Rick and Morty. That was the day I clocked I was perhaps a fuck boy.
Last December, I went to a party a friend was throwing and then I found out that five of the people at the party are my exes. I spent the whole party trying to avoid them then eventually left. The fact that I have enough exes that five of them could be in the same place at once was very concerning and that’s when I realized that maybe I have strayed too far from the light of God.
- Names have been changed for the sake of privacy.