Nigerian Men Talk About The Worst Valentine’s Gifts They’ve Ever Gotten

February 12, 2021

Valentine approaches with the speed of a bullet train and depending on your relationship status and your partner’s proclivity for giving gifts, you’re either looking forward to it or dreading it like Open Day in secondary school.

As usual, Nigerian women have come out with their usual tricks. 

“wHaT dO YOu giVE a mAn tHAt haS evERytHINg?”

Must be ment.

NerdEfiko suggested I ask men to tell about the worst Valentine’s Day gifts they’ve ever gotten. I expected the usual salvo of terrible gifts Nigerian women are known for, but the majority of replies were even more surprising. Over 80% of respondents say they’ve never received a Valentine’s Day gift before. Ever.

My men are suffering out here

And then there’s this guy

Gala? Women are wicked.

But I did get some “lucky” guys who had at least been gifted something for Valentine’s. Some of the answers were appalling.

Wolf, 29

That Valentine, I had gotten her a huge cake, a bag, a watch, chocolate and vintage red wine. In return, I got perfume that was so pungent, it smelled like eggs and methylated spirit. You could tell how cheap it was just by looking at it. And yes, she was working.

Tochukwu, 29

I bought her a phone for Valentine’s. I guess she was feeling bad that she didn’t get me anything. So she gave me a Bounty chocolate bar. Which happens to be the chocolate I really hate. I wasn’t even expecting anything in return but that was just way off. I had told her before that I hated it but probably forgot. She definitely didn’t forget how much I hated it after that incident.

Dami, 28

She got me shoe polish, singlet and boxers.

Matic

All I got was a shaved vagina.

Matic to his babe on February 13, 14 and 15.

As a reminder to women to try and do better, here are some more tweets of men expressing shock when they discovered men too receive Valentine gifts.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 15, 2021

Horrible exes are the great common denominator. Most of us have them – people that we, at some point, thought or hoped would be the one but by the end of the relationship, we were like WTAF. As today is the day after Valentine’s Day, we got four Nigerian men to tell us about their […]

November 6, 2020

It’s true that Nigerian mums have the best retorts and nothing can take this superpower away from them. But dads are not entirely bad in this area. I have compiled some of the things you likely heard your dad say in different situations in this post. 1. You and your mother should deal with it […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 30, 2021

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji* So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you. It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your […]

July 30, 2021

The subject of today’s Abroad life is a 35-year-old man who has lived many lives. He talks about being rejected three times by the US embassy, the bad state of the Nigerian education system, and how freelancing paid for his japa.  When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria? I’d always passively wanted […]

July 29, 2021

Modern day beauty standards sets a high bar for what society considers attractive. Anything outside the small box is considered unappealing, without consideration for the emotional and mental well-being of people living in those bodies. I met Tayo* through a comment he left on a Zikoko Instagram post about fatphobia, as he had gone through […]

July 29, 2021

Every Nigerian has at least one of these kinds of Uncles in their family 1) Mr I’d get back to you He’s the one that you ask for a favour and he always tells you he’d get back to you. The thing is, he never does. It’ll save everyone’s time and energy if he just […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

More from Man Dem

July 29, 2021

Modern day beauty standards sets a high bar for what society considers attractive. Anything outside the small box is considered unappealing, without consideration for the emotional and mental well-being of people living in those bodies. I met Tayo* through a comment he left on a Zikoko Instagram post about fatphobia, as he had gone through […]

July 26, 2021

Evil Nigerian women are like little devils, roaming around, looking for whom to devour. Thanks to Momsy’s prayers, you have managed not to fall into the grasp of evil Nigerian women. If you have, my condolences to you. May affliction not rise a second time. If it had already risen a second time, you need […]

July 12, 2021

If you date Nigerian men, here are some of the kinds you might enter into a relationship with or have already been in a relationship with. 1) Oedipus complex This kind of man only dates women who look like, talk like and act like his mother. Whenever you hang out, he brings his mother into […]

July 12, 2021

Alcoholism is a thing that many people suffer from and alcoholism exists in many degrees and affects people in so many ways. Today, we asked five Nigerian men how their alcoholism affected them and how they go on the track of sobriety. Daniel, 30. I started drinking when I was in my second year at […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X