Valentine approaches with the speed of a bullet train and depending on your relationship status and your partner’s proclivity for giving gifts, you’re either looking forward to it or dreading it like Open Day in secondary school.

As usual, Nigerian women have come out with their usual tricks. 

“wHaT dO YOu giVE a mAn tHAt haS evERytHINg?”

Must be ment.

NerdEfiko suggested I ask men to tell about the worst Valentine’s Day gifts they’ve ever gotten. I expected the usual salvo of terrible gifts Nigerian women are known for, but the majority of replies were even more surprising. Over 80% of respondents say they’ve never received a Valentine’s Day gift before. Ever.

My men are suffering out here

And then there’s this guy

Gala? Women are wicked.

But I did get some “lucky” guys who had at least been gifted something for Valentine’s. Some of the answers were appalling.

Wolf, 29

That Valentine, I had gotten her a huge cake, a bag, a watch, chocolate and vintage red wine. In return, I got perfume that was so pungent, it smelled like eggs and methylated spirit. You could tell how cheap it was just by looking at it. And yes, she was working.

Tochukwu, 29

I bought her a phone for Valentine’s. I guess she was feeling bad that she didn’t get me anything. So she gave me a Bounty chocolate bar. Which happens to be the chocolate I really hate. I wasn’t even expecting anything in return but that was just way off. I had told her before that I hated it but probably forgot. She definitely didn’t forget how much I hated it after that incident.

Dami, 28

She got me shoe polish, singlet and boxers.


All I got was a shaved vagina.

Matic to his babe on February 13, 14 and 15.

As a reminder to women to try and do better, here are some more tweets of men expressing shock when they discovered men too receive Valentine gifts.



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