1. How you arrive at the wedding ready to fight for your souvenir rights.
Ready to die on the line if need be!
2. You trying to figure out the seat that increases you souvenir-getting chances
Maybe close to the exits so as they come in with the goods, they see you.
3. When you see the souvenir distribution mafia (a.k.a the aunties) coming.
Give me what you got!
4. How you make eye contact with souvenir mafia members:
I got my eyes on you ladies.
5. When an aunty walks past you with some souvenirs.
Hello ma how far?
6. When you realise there are different levels of souvenirs.
Some get iPad, some get bottle opener. Wowee!
7. When they give everyone on your tables souvenirs but not you because no aso-ebi.
Is it good?
8. When you wear aso ebi, the souvenirs keep coming like:
Because I am one of them!
9. When you have to choose between waiting for souvenirs or being on the dance floor.
10. When you see some people packing more than one of each souvenir.
Is that how you people used to do?
11. When you see souvenirs without owners on the table next to you.
All is fair in souvenirs and war!
12. When you can see people judging your souvenir hustle.
Please don’t use your own to come and spoil my own.
13. When you make eye contact with a fellow souvenir hustler.
Hello my fellow hustler!
14. You carrying all your souvenirs home:
“I didn’t even carry too many things oh. Just one or two items.”
15. How you feel when you got all the souvenirs available.
Success is me and I am success.