If you thought your ideas were too crazy to put out there, then you’re clearly not one of the authors in this list. These are actual books for sale on Selar and their titles are killing us.
See for yourself.
Babe, Come Forth
Even if we gave you multiple tries at guessing what this book was about, you simply couldn’t. No, it’s not about ways to call your partner into the room after you’ve tried on a new dress. It’s a prayer book. A prayer book for young unmarried women looking for their God-given partners.
The Urgent 2k Mafian Hack
I don’t even know where to start. Is it the “Mafian” part? Or the fact that this is meant to be a self-help book that gives people tips on how to make urgent ₦2k daily? I need someone who’s read this book to come out and tell me what it says.
Get Naked Before You Walk Down The Aisle
You see this title, and think, “Ou, this person is encouraging premarital sex! Let me see why.” And then you find out it’s just a list of 99 questions to ask someone before you decide to get married to them. WHAT THEN IS THE POINT OF THE TITLE?
Getting Married Without Tears
Fun fact: This book is 45 thousand Buhari naira. According to the author, the book “helps you make the choice that supports your vibrations and mental wellness” so you don’t make the mistake of marrying the wrong person. What the fuck is vibrations? E be like say I go write my own book o.
How I Sued Masturbation
This book is exactly what you think it is — a self help book for people struggling with masturbation. But where did suing come from, please?
BDSM Cheat Sheet
If this Nigerian BDSM guide isn’t telling me to have ata rodo handy for my dangerous sexcapades, I don’t want it.
Heal From a Heartbreak in 7 Days
If you’re a busy person who doesn’t have the time to be sad after a breakup, this book is perfect for you. Heal from heartbreak in seven days and move on. No time for nonsense.
The Queen of the Coast: Her Terrible Plan for Humans According to This Insane Book
