The Zikoko Guide To Being A Wicked Nigerian Woman

July 26, 2021

Nigerian women are elite babes because their wickedness knows no bounds. If any one of them breaks your heart, you should actually be grateful because it is a privilege. If you’re a Nigerian woman looking to tap into your full potential as a wicked entity, here’s a guide on how to do that. 

This guy gets it.

1.Be an Igbo woman 

If you’re an Igbo woman reading, you already have inbuilt wickedness so there’s nothing we can teach you about wickedness tbh. If anything, you should organise a masterclass to teach others.

2. Be a Scorpio 

Your wickedness was written in the stars. There’s nothing here for you to learn. 

3. Date someone named Femi

By the time he uses your heart to play basketball, your heart will turn to stone and you can come into your wickedness properly. In fact, just date Yoruba men in general if you are looking for painful character development.

4. Be unable to cook

There is nothing that makes Nigerian men froth at the mouth like a Nigerian woman’s inability to cook. Outsource all your cooking and watch Nigerian men die a little inside.

5. Be a feminist

This one is very important. To truly be wicked, you must become a feminist. If someone insults you by calling you a feminazi, my sister you’re doing something right.

6. Be anti-kids

Are you truly a wicked Nigerian woman if you want kids? As a Nigerian woman, you must be anti-stress and kids will stress you. Do you know the gratification that comes with telling a man that has decided on his own that you’ll bear all his ten sons that you don’t want kids? Top tier feeling.

7. Be a slow texter

If anyone has the audacity to text you, surely they can wait for you to reply at your own pace. You did not come to this life to suffer, abeg.

8. Stress him

I promise you, he can take it. If he can’t, someone else will. Don’t lose guard. You are a spec, a moment, an event, and a happening babe. Move anyhow. Nobody will admit it but wickedness is sweet. 


Malakai

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