How To Be The ‘Perfect’ Nigerian Wife

June 2, 2020

Here’s a simple guide on how to be the kind of wife Nigerian men seem to want. From never questioning him, to allowing him to cheat as much as he wants, these impossible tips will work for you.

1. Thank him every day for ‘saving’ you from the clutches of spinsterhood.

You know marriage is EVERY woman’s goal.

2. Marry as a virgin, but be a freak in the sheets on your wedding night.

Just instinctively know how to do everything in the bedroom.

3. Remember to never ask questions, challenge him or disagree.

He is always right. Just leave it.

4. Lose that pregnancy weight right there on the delivery table.

Back to a size 8 immediately.

5. Never fall sick, complain or get tired.

Basically be superwoman.

6. Have a washing machine, but still lovingly handwash his underwear.

That’s true love right there.

7. Always wake up before him, so you can do “one or two things” around the house.

Why should your husband wake up before you?

8. Get a well-paying job, but make sure you never earn more than him.

If they offer you a pay raise, turn it down.

9. Make sure that job doesn’t stop you from taking the kids to school, picking them, and helping with their homework.

So, basically a 10 – 2 job. Don’t ask questions, just find it.

10. Never cheat on your husband, but forgive him if he ever ‘accidentally’ cheats on you.

You know men will be men.

11. Also remember to apologize when he cheats, because it was most likely your fault.

If you were being the perfect wife he wouldn’t have fallen inside another woman. Oya say sorry.

12. Figure out how to always have a hot meal waiting on the table before you get home.

Just figure it out.

13. Throw away that microwave, the food must always be freshly made.

What are you warming?

14. Remember to always praise your husband whenever he does anything around the house.

Remember it’s your work, he is just helping.

15. Look like a supermodel while doing house chores.

Don’t ever tie a wrapper in front of him.  Do everything in heels.

16. But never be indecently dressed in public or else:

You know the drill.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Fitfam in 2020
February 13, 2020

For most people, the number one thing on their list of New Year resolutions is joining #FitFam. Well, if you made that promise to yourself as you entered 2020, then this post is for you. 1. Your body, when you promised to join #FitFam in 2020: “We’ve heard this before.” 2. You, dusting off your […]

April 5, 2020

Let’s start this story from the beginning. As you are all aware, there is a lockdown order where the government told everyone to practice social distancing, stay at home, and avoid large gatherings, all in a bid to avoid the spread of Coronavirus. Well, Funke Akindele’s husband celebrated his birthday and they threw a “small” […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

August 3, 2021

If you are single and in search of reasons why you should get into a relationship, then you are in the right place. Here are eight reasons to convince you and not to confuse you as to why you need to get into a relationship 1) You have someone to be helping you zip your […]

August 3, 2021

The show has started and housemates are already giving their fans something to talk about. Here are five things you need to enjoy Big Brother Naija Season 6 wherever you are in Nigeria, other African countries, or the UK. 1. Cool Friends You may need to change your friends if they yab you for loving […]

man flexing arm bicep
August 3, 2021

In today’s society, everyone has an opinion about what it means to really be a “man”. Whatever those opinions are they end up doing more harm than good, seeing as 75% of suicide victims are men. Here are some of the ridiculous ways society thinks you should act like a man. 1. Never cry. As […]

August 3, 2021

There are very few things that make adults happy. The word ‘adult’ here is used loosely because some of you are 18 and you only barely qualify as adults. Truth is, the older you get, the more simple things make you happy.  1. Finding the perfect grocery store Not everyone can say that they have […]

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

August 3, 2021

The show has started and housemates are already giving their fans something to talk about. Here are five things you need to enjoy Big Brother Naija Season 6 wherever you are in Nigeria, other African countries, or the UK. 1. Cool Friends You may need to change your friends if they yab you for loving […]

August 3, 2021

There are very few things that make adults happy. The word ‘adult’ here is used loosely because some of you are 18 and you only barely qualify as adults. Truth is, the older you get, the more simple things make you happy.  1. Finding the perfect grocery store Not everyone can say that they have […]

August 2, 2021

July was a very eventful month. So much happened— Euros, BBNaija, Obi Cubana’s mother’s burial. Because Nigerians have coconut heads, they still managed to tweet these bangers even with the Twitter ban. You’ll laugh at these tweets. 1. I can’t think about this tweet and not burst into laughter. 2. Titilola is arriving in 5 […]

August 1, 2021

Ghosting can be weird – whether you’re the one being ghosted or doing the ghosting. When this happens, you’re likely to go through phases of worry, confusion, self-doubt, anger and finally make-everybody-getat. Wondering why exactly you’re being ghosted? Especially from people you really want to be in communication with? Here are 8 possible reasons. 1. […]

August 1, 2021

We recently stumbled upon a secret ancient book of Nigerian women’s secrets that has been passed down from generation to generation. The book contained the guide to being a wicked Nigerian woman, a stubborn Nigerian woman, and so much more. But one thing that attracted us was the chapter that contained the guide to shooting […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X