There are very few things that aren’t better enjoyed when shared. Happiness, good news, problems. Okay, a wrapping of suya might be one exception, but you get the idea.

When it came to flogging in Nigerian secondary schools — and we mean actual Nigerian secondary schools, not those mini-resorts that didn’t believe in violence against children — even that was better shared. Especially with the whole class, or in particularly bad cases, the whole set.

We’ll be focusing on the terror of an all-class members beat down because why not reminisce on past trauma while living through a current one?Enjoy!

How the whole class reacts when the Math teacher tells everybody to stand up to answer the complicated ass question, on a subject he literally just taught

Now how the hell are we supposed to know the square root of a rectangular triangular after three minutes of explanation?

The way the tension builds when the teacher goes row by row, and yet no seat can produce a math champion

I give everyone 5 seconds to answer this question. 5, 4, 3

The way the cane chesters come through after he starts asking students to jump out one by one

We’re sure all the cane chesters that made sure to never react to pain, are living well-adjusted lives now.

Every class had those students that would always run to the back of the other classmates when it came flogging time

Why are you running? Why are you running?

Then there were the special ones that would hold up the flogging queue, using sixty-seven minutes to take two strokes of cane

Move sis, you in deh way!

Every class had fakers. These ones would go to the front of the line and pretend they’ve already been flogged. Theatrics and all

You know the ones

There were those classmates that would have cried for every single class member before even a drop of cane touches their body

Bruh, school was so traumatising.

Then those special students that would wait for the whole class to help them echo that they were sicklers or had an underlying medical condition, so they wouldn’t get flogged

School was traumatising Part 2

But for the really sharp ones, you’d have escaped class the minute the math teacher started asking questions and turned that class into a free period

It’s not me you’ll kill for my mother

Which student were you?


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