If You Can Relate With at Least 3 of These Things, “Friends With Benefits” Is Not for You

January 12, 2022

Being in a “friends with benefits” position is like being entangled with the slightly less chaotic younger sibling of a situationship; less than a committed relationship, but not more than a friendship. There are many factors to consider before engaging in this. The first is finding out if it’s a situation you can properly function in. The rest are way too many to state here so we’ve simplified it for you.

If you can relate with at least three of the following, then chances are you can’t successfully navigate the tricky water of a FWB.

1. You don’t have friends

It’s called “friends” with benefits for a reason. As your antisocial behaviour has stunted your ability to make friends/maintain friendships,, which friendship will you introduce sexual benefits into it? Exactly. Just continue scrolling on Tiktok.

2. You are already planning matching Pyjamas for Valentine’s Day

If you’re the kind of person who already starts mentally planning your life with someone (wedding, children, divorce, Shakespeare-style joint death etc) the second they so much as smile at you, you’re not cut out for this FWB life. Hang it up.

3. Your jealousy knows no bounds

Jealousy is usually an anxious response to something you need to address. For example, if the thought of your FWB having genital meet & greets with other people makes you feel the rage of a thousand Hulks, you’re most likely in love with them, which means you have no business being in a FWB situation with them in the first place.

4. You are big on PDA

Your friends with benefits partner will not whisper sweet nothings into your ear, hold your hand lovingly, or remove imaginary leaves from your hair. Know this, and know peace.

5. You catch feelings like kilode

Literally everyone you’ve talked to being able to testify that you caught feelings for them faster than The Flash is a huge sign that the “no strings attached” principle of FWB will be an issue for you.

6. You are demisexual

If you’re someone who craves a strong emotional connection with someone before you can bump genitals with them,run away from anyone who propositions you with a FWB arrangement. It won’t end well for you.

7. You aren’t assertive

Saying yes to a FWB relationship only because it’s what your potential partner wants is a bad idea because you’ll be miserable all the time. This is why you should strongly assert yourself if a situation doesn’t serve you. Failure to do so will end with you eating breakfast in the future.

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