There is only one correct response to ‘I love you‘ and that’s ‘I love you too.‘ Please stop with all those other arguments.

So don’t say it too soon, people. Or you start getting replies like:  ‘That’s nice. Anyway, as I was saying . . .‘ Or they’d look at you with pity and say, ‘Listen, you’re awfully sweet but . . .

think about it

Everyone should have the justifiable phobia about being the first to say the ‘L’ word. Because what the hell will you do if he/she doesn’t say it back. Say them out at the wrong time to the wrong Yoruba demon boy and you will need a stiff drink for a totally different reason. It’s the ultimate embarrassment.

So absolutely do NOT say ‘I Love you’…

If you’re not on the same page.

Your ‘I love you,’ might mean, ‘I think this is special, let’s give this a try.’

Her interpretation might be, ‘When’s the wedding?’

If you don’t speak the same language.

You speak English and he speaks incoherent.

You: I love you

He: Uhm..err…ahh


If you have to ask.

No seriously, if you have to ask though…



In the middle of sex.

Nigerian boys will probably say ‘I do too,’ because they’ve just had sex with you, for God’s sake.


Also you do NOT love someone..

After they just dm’ed you.

If they liked all your Instagram photos.

Or you liked all of theirs.


After three dates.

You’re not 12.

Telling someone you love them on the second date or second week is ridiculous, borderline daft – and that’s probably what they’ll think you are if you do it.


Just wait. Wait until you’re totally about to burst. Till when you feel you will spontaneously combust if you don’t say it. Have some sense of self preservation!


But if you have to please find sneaky ways to do it, like:

Say ‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’

Or pop it at the very, very end of a conversation when you can disappear immediately after saying it

Or say things like  ‘I love it when you do that’, ‘I love it when we spend time together.’

Disclaimer: I am NOT a relationship expert. Why did you even read this?


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