Whether you’ve just moved into a new place or you’ve lived in your house for decades; we can guarantee that you’ve come across these typical Nigerian neighbours.

The one who’s generator is always on. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week.

Even if there’s light they won’t put it off because ‘NEPA will soon take the light’.

The nosy ones who don’t even try to hide the fact that they are being nosy.

Abeg sister that man that came to visit you last night, is that your brother?

The ones that have the NEPA siren that goes off when there is light.

If not for them you’ll just be wasting petrol.

The ones who are always coming to beg you to charge their phones once you put on your gen.

Oga you too on your gen now.

The ones who block the street with canopies every weekend for party.

Last week it was somebody’s naming ceremony. The week before that was birthday. This week it’s burial. And it’s not like they’ll even invite you for the party.

The one who is forever knocking on your door to borrow something.

If it’s not salt it’s broom. And before they return it, wahala.

The ones who use their house for weekly fellowship and always asks when you’ll join them.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

The one who always corners you to give you gist that you didn’t ask for.

“Did you know that Mummy Jamiu’s son impregnated someone? “

The ones who will wake you up in the morning with prayers and keep you up at 1am with prayers.

Because if their neighbours can’t hear them praying, God won’t answer their prayers.

As if your prayer warrior neighbour is not enough, there must be a church on your street too.

Sometimes even two or three. As one id finishing their service, the other one is starting.

The ones who will appoint themselves as street or estate chairman.

They’ll also take it upon themselves to start collecting monthly dues.

The one you’ve never seen in your life.

You can be living there for ten years and never meet them. You’ll only be seeing the light in their house going on and off.

The one who has a bigger family than Abraham.

Every day you will see a new face coming out of the house.

The resident baby boy or baby girl.

They don’t have any stress at all.

So answer with your chest now; which neighbour are you?



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.