The Unofficial Guide To Crossing Roads In Nigeria

June 27, 2016

1. “Look left, look right, look left again” does not work in Nigeria.

That rule is just for people abroad oh!

2. You still have to look both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Or else one molue driver will just come and clear you.

3. If you don’t kneel down and beg each car to stop, you’ll just be waiting there like:

Get your ‘ejo o’ face ready.

4. If this isn’t you:

Then zebra crossings are not your concern.

5. Because zebra crossings are nothing but Tom-Tom adverts to Nigerians.

Don’t even risk it.

6. Run, even though the road is completely free.

One trailer can just appear at any time.

7. Nigerian drivers accelerating to jam you like:

They cannot see you crossing the road and let you be.

8. Just because one driver stops for you, doesn’t mean the others will.

They will see one car stopping but won’t even try and slow down.

9. Pedestrian bridges are really just there for decoration.

Real Nigerians just run across the road.

10. When it rains, just expect Nigerians to splash water on you.

They will actually target the puddle and drive into it.

11. Nigerians are colour blind, so red light isn’t necessarily an opportunity to cross.

Still look well before chooking leg.

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