The Stress Of Having Your Nigerian Mother Buy Clothes For You

August 4, 2016

1. When you tell your mother you need clothes and she asks if you’ve finished wearing the ones you have.

Hay God!

2. When your hear your mother shout “come and see if this shirt is your size”.

YES!!!

3. Your face, when your mother says “you’ll grow into it”:

Be lying.

4. When you ask your mother to buy adidas for you and she comes home with:

“What’s the difference?”

5. When you ask your mother for a suit vs. When you ask your mother for jeans:

If it is not “responsible” cloth, you are not smelling any money.

6. When she uses a broomstick to measure your shoe size before going to the market.

Which one is this?

7. When she still comes home with shoes that are two sizes too big.

She will now give you paper to chook inside.

8. When you ask her to help you buy something and she makes you follow her to the market.

Hian! On top socks?

9. When she refused to buy that shirt you liked just because of extra N500.

Na wa oh!

10. When she buys your Christmas clothes in July because it will be cheaper.

Mama the mama.

11. When she buys you something and you ask her how much it was.

“Do you want to give me the money back?”

12. When she buys you and all your siblings the exact same cloth.

Who is doing ‘and co’ with you people?

13. You, on that rare occasion your mother actually buys you something you like.

Wow! So you sabi like this?

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