13 Things About Nigerian Fuel Attendants That Are Just Too Real

June 20, 2016

1. How the attendant that called you first looks at you when you go to someone else:

Uncle, no vex.

2. When fuel is now N145/L and the attendant asks “fill up?”

Respect yourself, biko.

3. Your face, when the attendant still asks for keg money.

Are you not wicked?

4. How they look at you when you ask to pay with POS:

Ah! Sorry oh.

5. When you ask for N3,000 fuel and they stop at N2,999.99.

Don’t vex me today.

6. When they are still holding your change and telling you “happy weekend”.

Biko bring my change before we start fighting.

7. You, when the attendant puts more fuel than you asked for.

Na you sabi.

8. How they start feeling whenever there is fuel scarcity:

Be doing like king.

9. When you queue up for hours and you now hear “fuel don finish”.

Better go and find.

10. When you said “full tank” and the meter is showing N7,000 but you only have N5,000.

HAY GOD!

11. Whenever you take your eyes off the meter the attendants be like:

So they can cheat you well.

12. When you finish buying fuel and they still have the mind to ask “anything for boys?”

See this one.

13. When the attendant that was forming for you during scarcity tries to greet you.

Just save it.

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