The Different Ways You Know You’re In Trouble In A Nigerian Home

November 16, 2016

1. When your mother gives you that ‘let us get home first’ side-eye in public

That side-eye is dangerous oh, better start the begging!

2. When you get home and the first thing you hear is ‘oya just kneel down there’

You’ll just meet your parents with cane chilling for you on the floor.

3. That ‘mogbe’ moment when you’re dodging your mom’s uppercut, but she thinks you’re challenging her

‘Please, I was just protecting myself, I don’t want to kill you, ah!’

4. Or you get back home and you hear: ‘just go back to wherever you’re coming from’ izz all over

This one is just the worst.

5. When you just finish showing your junior one who senior pass, and you meet them in your parents room like:

You already know they’ve finished downloading the beating to your parents plus fisi.

6. When you’re arguing with your parents and you hear: ‘okay, just wait for me’

Please I don’t want to oh!!

7. When you forget who the real oga at the top is, and think you can get home anytime you want

‘So my house is Quilox that you can be entering around 11 abi?’

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 23, 2020

Once you’ve seen one Nigerian music video about falling in love, you’ve seen them all. The stories are almost always the same, so we decided to see what we can learn about romance from some of them. The babe has to look uninterested. As a rule of thumb, the babe always has to be immensely […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X