1. The Sleepers

They are the Head Sleepers of the Sleep Society. If you have the slight misfortune of sitting next to them, expect to have your shoulder become their pillow. You should also expect to find their slight spittle mixed lightly with sweat on your clothes.

2. The Eaters

If it comes wrapped up in something and sold in trays balanced on heads, these ones are buying. It is not wise to part them from their food. They’re generally the first to ask the driver where he is stopping to eat. Merchandise of choice usually includes but are not limited to; Gala, Chinchin, Akara and Bread, Boiled eggs, Ekpa etc. Consequently, they also will regularly request to relieve themselves on the way.

3. The Debaters

For these ones, a journey is always an opportunity to get on the debating stage, and it doesn’t take much to get them rolling. Topics generally include any popular issue. From Daddy Bubu’s frequent holidays to the abroad to whistle-blowing and finding money in strange places. All it takes is the bus bouncing over a small pothole in the road and away they go. But try to steer clear of the general area surrounding their mouths, they tend to be spitters as well. Although, it’s not their fault, all that talking has made their lips numb.

4. The Cellcoholic *Yes, it is a word

You can tell them by the earpiece/headset in their ears or the phone pressed tightly to their heads. From personal to business call, they’ll make it all. By the end of the journey you’ll start to feel like you know them better. “Don’t worry Brother Ignatius, the container will come in on time”.

5. The Assistant Drivers

As the name implies, they’re the driver’s second-in-command. Usually riding shotgun, or in the row behind the driver, their functions include but are also not limited to; – Helping the driver see sudden, upcoming potholes – Warning the driver of an oncoming trailer – Monitoring the driver’s speed and keeping tabs on fuel level.

So the next time you’re travelling with public transport in Nigeria, keep watch for these 5 people.

And if you look closely, you might just realize that one of them is you! Here are five other kinds of people you’ll always find in any group setting.
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