Before you can be mobilised for youth service, you need to graduate first. But there is only one thing only NYSC can teach you: there are graduates and there are graduates. If you know, you know.
1. The ones who speak proper English.
The graduates that set an example for other graduates. Brilliant, or at least can figure their way through things without any trouble.
2. The ones who finished from an institution you’ve never heard of in your entire life.
“Ahan, which school is Fally Ipupa Institute of Agricultural Law again? Is it in this Nigeria?”
3. The ones who spells corper as copper.
“Hai ma name his Jeniva.”
4. The ones who cannot sign the book of life or write a proper letter. Always looking for someone to copy.
“Sister, abeg. Make I see as you take spell your name. Abeg no vex o, wetin be S/N? Shey na surname?”
5. The ones who think their school is the best.
They are quick to insert it into every sentence, every word, every thing they say. These ones, no point arguing with them. They will start racking up long talk until you agree that their school is the best in the whole of Nigeria.
6. The ones who graduated from a foreign university and will not let everyone rest.
The Osuofias who returned from London and landed in NYSC camp. They will always remind you. “Ohmigosh, the heat here is teh-ree-boo. It’s not like this in London, you know?”
7. The ones who don’t believe in ‘One Nigeria’.
Not now, not ever. Which is why when any opportunity of argument happens, they are quick to pick factions and divide by tribe. One Nigeria? Abeg x3.