Nigerian parents can sell everything they own to send us to school, but you see these seven items? They would rather jump into a lagoon than buy them.

1. Premium enjoyment

From the early days of hearing, “There’s rice at home to eat,” to, “Let me hold your money for you.,” it’s evident that Nigerian parents have made a covenant against using their money for premium enjoyment. Why?

2. Your happiness

Happiness to a Nigerian parent are the clothes on your back, roof over your  and food on the table. Any other thing is your business. Go and find money for it because they’re not paying for that dear. 

3. Therapy

They will never even admit that they need it in the first place, so spending their money on it is asking a bit much. The best you can do is secretly pay for a session and tell them it’s a prayer meeting. 

4. Data

Anything concerning data is too stressful and technical. They’ll guilt trip you into buying data for them only to end up rewarding you by spamming you with daily Whatsapp BCs. 

5. Chargers

A Nigerian parent will misplace their charger and never think of how to replace it. All they do is show up at the house, shout your name like a criminal and ask you to bring your own charger for them. That’s pretty much the end of owning a charger until you spend your money to get them another one.

6. Skin care products

A Nigerian mother will tell you how she can never waste her money on “those unnecessary  things” you rub on your face. Then watch her stroll into your room to casually to let her even see the “thing” that you are using sef. Next thing, she’s coming every morning to wash her face with the same products she insulted you for. Don’t even suggest it to her to buy it; just buy your own so you can have peace.

7. Phones

Are your parents even Nigerian if they haven’t told you, “A phone is only for texting and calling?” Any phone more than 20k is a taboo in the How to Be a Nigerian Parent handbook. Trust me, your parents aren’t Nigerians if they don’t remind you about how you just waste money on gadgets. But once you buy it for them, the family group chat will be on fire.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.