As told to Desmond.
A few weeks ago, I put up a link to my Outspoken chatbox when I was looking for men to anonymously interview for this story. A few days later, a woman sent a message via Outspoken telling me that she has a story that she thinks I’ll be interested in. She was right. And the story below is one of the wildest I have ever heard.
In 2017, I decided I was going to be an influencer. I had all the things I thought I needed to get the career started so, of course, I went for it. By 2018, I had more than twenty-five thousand followers on my Instagram alone. The opportunities were coming, but they weren’t as financially lucrative as I expected. They just made me look rich, while I wasn’t in real life. I started looking for ways to make more money and leverage the audience I had. Then my friend gave me the advice that changed my life: get a sugar daddy.
As a hyper-visible woman, thanks to my influencer career, people make passes at me every day on social media. There’s this appeal of someone visible and, in a way, unattainable. My friend advised me to make use of that and pick a sugar daddy. So I started going through my DMs regularly, especially the DM requests, until I found one that caught my eye. He had like four or five photos on his Instagram, and you could tell he didn’t update it that much, but he looked clean as fuck and, more importantly, rich. I had found my sugar daddy.
I replied to his DM and tried keeping it light. Let’s call him Ben. Ben was nice, in his late thirties, a rich guy that came from money and still made his own money on top. He made it clear from the get-go that he had money to spend.. He was uber nice. I did not ask him for money, but he kind of knew what I was there for, and he was sending me money regularly. The lowest he ever sent was N50,000. About a month later, he invited me over to his house. Paid for the flight and sent over tickets. I was ready to eat his money proper.
I was to spend two weeks with Ben. We went out, ate and, of course, had sex. The sex was so much better than I expected. When I say he came through, he did. On the fourth day, he told me his friend had a party and we should go. The party was slightly crowded, but he took me to a small parlour that felt like a VIP section in the house. They were drinking and smoking, and I am not a drinker, but I smoke socially, so that’s what I did. Then they passed something around and he took it. I didn’t clock it because I assumed it was weed, which we were doing at the time. His friends suggested going to a different thing that was happening, so we went to get the cars.
The ‘thing’ was just Ben and a bunch of his friends hanging at a hotel room that belonged to one of them, which was cool. Then they started passing something and I clocked what it was. They were doing cocaine like it was Lucozade Boost. Most of them were injecting it. Then Ben came up to me and asked if I had ever done it before, and I told him no. He told me if I can take weed, I can do this because cocaine is just the elder brother. The biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life was to believe that lie. He very carefully showed me how to snort a bump off his key and yo, it was something. I felt hot, I felt nauseous but Jesus, the jolt of pure pleasure was amazing. Someone, I’m not sure who, got us a room in the hotel. He might have had a room there already, I don’t know. But we went there and although I have given up cocaine now, cocaine sex is just wow. It was just utterly euphoric.
The bad thing? The comedown from cocaine is just as wow as the high. Very horrible. I didn’t realise it, but this was Ben’s goal. He wanted someone to be having drug sex with and after the first two times, I was hooked. Sex with him was very good normally because he doesn’t hold back, but sex with him when cocaine was involved? Father in heaven. I can not even begin to tell you. I couldn’t have sex with anyone else because no one else had or wanted to do it with cocaine. I came back to Lagos and relatively continued my life but, deep down, I was only really happy when I was doing cocaine. I became hyper dependent. It’s like you’re living a normal life then someone takes you to heaven for an hour and then brings you back to your normal life. Suddenly, that normal life just doesn’t feel enough. Even things you liked before are now dull and tasteless. That’s what it felt like. I went to Abuja at least twice every month for the duration of our relationship, which lasted for six months. There was good sex and money and drugs, I thought I was living the life. My best friend eventually had to tell me to calm down because it felt like Ben and cocaine were the only things that I cared about. I cut off my best friend and blocked her.
I am ashamed to admit it, but do you want to know how I broke it off and started down the road of recovery? I discovered he was partnered off with someone and I was someone he was using to play out his fantasies with, which I would have been okay with if I knew all the details upfront. The girlfriend of a friend of his that I had met maybe once or twice told me to come over for lunch one day, and she casually asked if Ben sees his fiancee often. I was confused then she told me. The shock was frankly the only reason I listened to her talk, to be honest. Me, I didn’t know why I was shocked because na sugar daddy im be, no be boyfriend. In the long run, I did the math and understood what my purpose was in the relationship and it was up to me to decide if I wanted to continue. I did not. I sha did the cocaine small one more time before I left Abuja that time. Once I came back to Lagos, I began looking into how to get over the addiction. I want to say thank God for my best friend because I wouldn’t have been able to get through it. I lapsed and I struggled, but I did it. Last time I had cocaine was in late 2019. I still occasionally smoke but I make sure I cut it out every now and then so I know it doesn’t have any power over me. I’m in a better place, I am genuinely happy and I even got a new job sef. The moral of the story if there is one? If you are going to do something, especially a ‘vice’, make sure it’s for you and it is what you want.