Have you ever imagined what it would be like if some of your favourite Nollywood OG actors had Youtube channels? Well, I was bored, so I picked some and imagined what their channels would be about.

P.S: I don’t know the true personalities of the actors, so my imagination is based on their movie characters and what I’ve seen on their social media pages.

Patience Ozokwor 

I can almost swear Patience Ozokwor would make videos giving advice to mothers and mothers-in-law. She’d talk about how not to let your child’s spouse be more important than you in their life. Once in a while, she’d also provide tips on handling (revenging against) people that mess with you in any way. 

"Hello everyone. Welcome to my Youtube channel. Today, I want to talk about how daughters-in-law like to feel they’re more important than you in your son's life. It’s a topic that’s very personal to me, which is why I decided to talk about it today. These girls need to know just because they married your son doesn’t mean they’re now the number one woman in his life. But before that, a shoutout to the sponsors of this video, Meiran Rat Poison. This is the most potent rat poison out there. It can kill rats and humans. Oh sorry, I shouldn’t have said that."

Chinedu Ikedieze and Osita Iheme

These two would make prank videos every single chance they get. They’ll prank their friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. And their pranks would range from downright outrageous to almost life-threatening. 

"Hi guys. Welcome back to our Youtube channel. Since the last video in which we gave our friend a laxative did so well, we decided to prank him again. This time, we’ll be mixing pepper with itching powder and putting it in his clothes."

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Funke Akindele 

Funke would do weekly vlogs about her life. She’d take you around, showing you aspects of life as a mother, to being an actress and producer on set, to all the many other things she does. Then, she’d sprinkle a bit of dancing here and there. 

"Hi guys. Welcome back to another week in the life of Funke Akindele. I have a packed week this week, and I'll be taking you guys along. Also, I learnt a new dance yesterday, and I’ll be showing you. By the way, if you guys haven’t watched Jenifa, I don’t know what you’re doing. Episode 1001 will air tomorrow, and this one introduces another Instagram influencer."

Kanayo O. Kanayo

Kanayo’s Youtube channel would be filled with videos of him teaching people how to become billionaires before the age of 30. His tips, of course, wouldn’t be anything you’d expect. 

"Good afternoon and welcome back. Today, I’ll be giving you people another tip on how to make money in the fastest way possible. If you really want to get rich fast, it’s important that you’re willing to do any and everything. Today’s tip involves some special "ingredients".

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Genevieve Nnaji 

She’d definitely do beauty and travel vlogs. Genevieve’s vlogs would show you how she’s living a soft, relaxed life. She’d do those “Day in the Life” videos where she goes shopping then to the beach to relax. Her travel vlogs would be filled with luxury flights, hotels, restaurants, clothes, etc.

"Heyy! Welcome back to my Youtube channel everyone! I’m so excited because I’m in Mexico right now, and I’m about to head down to the beach. But before that, I’d like to show you guys a quick skincare routine to do so your skin isn’t affected by the sun."

Jim Iyke

I see Jim Iyke creating “bad boy”  content on his Youtube channel. He’d advise men on the different ways to “get” a woman without doing too much. He’d also teach them how to behave in relationships so the man is never in a position of weakness. Once in a while, he’d drag people who leave negative comments under his videos. 

"Welcome to my Youtube channel. My name is Jim Iyke, and today, we’ll be talking about why men should never be in a position where they’re heartbroken. A man doesn’t get his heart broken, he breaks hearts instead." 

Pete Edochie 

Half of Pete Edochie’s videos would be him speaking in parables and telling stories about things that happened when he was young. In the other half, he would tell men to be men and teach them what they should and shouldn’t do in different aspects of their lives. He’d give them advice on how to always be the head, and to never let a woman tell them what to do. 

"Today is a great day to be a man. If you’re a woman, this channel isn’t for you. They say no matter how strong the lioness is in the jungle, she will always go back home and obey her master, the lion. Today, I want to talk to men who have working wives. Just because she goes to the office and has her own money doesn’t mean she shouldn’t answer to you."

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Richard Mofe Damijo 

RMD would’ve been a fashion vlogger, giving us different types of fashion hauls. He’d show you how to dress for all events and situations, and how to put outfits together from different items in your wardrobe. Once in a while, he’d show you part of his baby boy lifestyle, which mostly involves travelling and enjoying life. 

"Hi guys. Welcome back to my Youtube channel. Today, I’ll be showing you the different ways you can dress to be a wedding guest. From suits to trad to simple formal wear, I’ll be showing you everything. All the links to my outfits would be in the description box below."

Mercy Johnson 

Mercy Johnson’s YouTube would be filled with family vlogs and storytime videos. She’d show you her life as a mum and wife, and how she balances it with her career. 

"Hello Hello! Welcome back, everyone! Today, I’ll be doing a storytime video telling you about the time I got my first acting job. It was such an experience and I can’t even — *begins to cry intensely*"

Eucharia-Anunobi Ekwu

Eucharia would give the most “interesting” advice to women on her channel. She’d tell them how to be their own definition of classy, how to dress as a woman, what to do and what not to do. She’d be our Youtube mummy. 

"Hello, and welcome back to my channel. To all the women out there, I want you to know you can still be sexy while covering your body. You think showing your genitals and mammary glands to the public is sexy? Nah, that’s dirty and vulgar. Sexy is being smart, creative, godly and compassionate. "Michael Jackson never showed his genitals to the public, yet people were drooling over him." 

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.