We can’t all like the same things. I, for one, love smutty rooms with overly dramatic endings and my brother won’t watch anything where someone doesn’t lose an ear (minimum) within the first five minutes. E be tins really.

But one thing most people can enjoy as a collective is sports. You guys can’t get enough of it. From football, to boxing and tennis, there are a ton of people who love nothing more, than watching others run around, sweating over some object or the other.

On behalf of the non-sporting enthusiasts club, I am here to say: we just don’t get it!

Bayelsa David Lyon nullified

To make our points clear, here are a few things us non- enthusiasts would like to get off our chests:

What teams do Messi and Ronaldo even play for and why are you lot always arguing about who has a goat?

Gombe state 100 computers

If you love them so much, buy them both goats. Duh.

How come y’all can stay up to watch Anthony Joshua fight, but vigils are so hard to keep awake for?

We’ll be needing a response to this thanks.

Honesty hour: does anyone really understand how cricket is played?

Or are we all just pretending to get it?

What is a Lewandowski?

And how do you eat it?

How do you know what you’re referring you when you say ‘who’s winning the league?’

Aren’t there like ten million leagues

Can somebody please explain what VAR is?

It’s definitely not a millennial’s VCR like I thought, right?

While you’re at it, a brief guideline on when offside occurs would be so neat. Please and thanks.

It’s confusing, why lie?

Can someone please explain why someone decided to name their favourite murder game ‘American football’

How something that dangerous continues to be played is a mystery someone needs to answer for.

What else don’t you understand about sports?

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