If you ever wanted to switch to tech and you don’t know the first thing about landing a tech job, then you have found the answer to your prayers. Here are nine things you need to do to land a tech job.
1) Buy a MacBook
How can you get into tech without a MacBook? It’s like going into a farm without farming tools. Look for the most expensive MacBook on the market and buy it. It will pay off eventually.
2) Catch a python
These tech companies are always talking about pythons. So, go into the streets and find the biggest and best python. When you successfully trap a python, you can tell the companies you’re skilled with python. Work smarter, not harder.
3 IntroTech is still tech
Basic Technology, IntroTech are still tech jobs. If you can’t get into the ones closing deals and earning millions a year, try those ones that make you build lamps with wood. When people ask, tell them you work in tech. All startups are startups and all tech matters.
4) Beg and cry
If all else fails, try begging and crying. When they see you wailing and rolling on the floor, they’d offer you the job. What is tech that you cannot do? You can learn on the job.
5) Learn a new language
They’re always talking about programming languages. So, learn one. French? Yoruba? Ibibio? Just go crazy with it. Learn as many languages as possible.
6) Become a leftend engineer
There are enough front and back end engineers on the market. Do something different to set yourself apart from the crowd. That’s why it’s important to learn leftend. You’d be an expert in your field and you’d become the most sought after person in the tech field.
7) Have a photoshoot
How can you become a tech bro if you don’t have the tech bro photoshoot? How else will they recognise you as the bad bitch you are?
8) Lie on LinkedIn
If you’re not on Linkedln writing epistles on how we all have the same 24 hours, or how your dog was able to overcome all odds and get a job, then you really aren’t ready to get a tech job.
9) Read TechCabal
TechCabal has all the important tech information you need to not just kickstart your tech career, but also keep you informed on everything going on in the tech space. You can subscribe to the TechCabal newsletter for daily updates on what goes on in the tech ecosystem.
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