Your Favorite Nigerian Bank Just Released a Children’s Day Video And We’re Honestly Ashamed

May 26, 2017

With Children’s Day around the corner (no, literally, it’s tomorrow), Nigerian brands have started advertising hard, as usual

giphy.gif Free recharge cards, weirdly-designed Twitter pictures, forced hashtags everywhere. Every. Single. Holiday.

Diamond Bank decided that they are not here to play and showed us that they’ve been ‘doing’ this Children’s Day thing SIIIINCE

giphy.gif

….by posting this video showing us how they ‘celebrate’ Children’s Day

MY EYEEEEESSSSS!

There are so many things wrong here, but mercifully, people on Twitter have already dissected this. Take a deep breath. Ready?

First, the pronunciation of hippopotamus:

Secondly, the fact that the video is just….wtf

I meannnnn

And the ‘school uniforms to work’ Diamond Bank culture is a gift that keeps giving…unfortunately. Sigh.

I WANT TO TAKE OFF MY BLOUSE, WRAP MY GELE AROUND MY WAIST AND WRESTLE THE VIDEO INTO THE MUD AND BEAT IT REPEATEDLY WITH MY SHOE UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING

SEEEEEE?

When does the nightmare end?

Which branch is responsible for thissss?

And in the middle of all this >_>

Polite request

Still crying

We love Diamond Bank, but this particular practice of wearing staff uniforms and reciting nursery school rhymes has to go.

I mean, it’s already tough working at a Nigerian bank

https://zikoko.com/list/15-things-everyone-worked-bank-can-relate/

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

More from Gist

May 20, 2022

Nobody will pass off a chance to win an all-expense-paid trip to KENYA with the winner of Nigerian Idol Season 7. So if you are still thinking, dreaming, waiting, or thinking you have enough time, then you are wasting time because this promo is ending on the 7th of June. Do we have your attention? Here’s […]

April 20, 2021

Feel like you’ve run out of interesting places to hangout or visit? We’ve got you. Iba Ajie is a new spot we highly recommend if you are looking to explore places in the Eastern part of Nigeria. If you’re wondering what makes this spot special, here are 5 reasons. 1. There is a Chophouse Yes, […]

August 11, 2020

Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]

December 19, 2019

Nigeria is a shitty place for those who live here, many seek an escape route. But, amid the insecurities, bad economy, and the uncaring government, some things happened this year that make us feel thankful. Yeah, we know, hard to believe right? Yet we need to end the year on a positive note, so here are some […]

November 18, 2019

Nigerians are yet to come to terms with the fact that cats can be pets but now have to deal with the fact that someone thinks a lion is tame enough to have as a security guard. Reports now confirm that a two-year-old lion was discovered in a residential building in the Victoria Island area […]

November 4, 2019

The 8th edition of the popular beach soccer tournament, Copa Lagos held throughout the weekend at Eko Atlantic, VI. It had us loving the opportunity to immerse ourselves in enjoyment. You should know by now that we can’t pass up a chance to get the ultimate weekend experience. And you know the fun part? We […]

October 21, 2019

In case you went under the rock this weekend then you MISSED. There was a lot of excitement for our Nigerian superstar musicians and the spotlight was on them, big time. From the much anticipated Headies award, to the birth of Davido’s son, Naira Marley’s legwork and his subtle shade at the organizers of the […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X