I was watching an Igbo language parody of the movie “Venom” done by @thelegendsshow guys on Instagram, and at some point, someone referred to Venom as an “evil spirit with muscles.” This really got me thinking because that’s pretty much what Venom is.
Venom: The Ayamatangah of the Marvel universe.
It also got me thinking of all the demonic possession horror movies and tv shows I’ve seen (The Conjuring, The Exorcist, Smallville etc) and how the makers went out of their way to show how much possession sucks. (Hint: A lot.) However, what they never show are the upsides. That’s why I’m here today.
1. The best kind of companionship.
Are you tired of being lonely? Summon a demon today and offer yourself as a vessel to get round the clock companionship from an entity that actually wants to be around (in) you. Because when something needs you to survive, you can be sure it’ll never leave.
2. All that knowledge
You ever notice in horror movies how a family’s illiterate housemaid gets possessed and starts speaking in different languages (Greek, Latin, etc.) she couldn’t possibly have learned? That’s because foreign entities looking for hosts come with millennia worth of knowledge (and tea). Imagine how much easier school would’ve been if you’d had your own pet demon whispering the answers to those Maths exams in your ear.
3. The cool super powers
I don’t know about you guys but my first thought after watching The Exorcist (1973) was how cool it would be if I could dramatically levitate out of bed every morning. (Preferably, while an old priest tried to compel me with the power of Christ and holy water.) If you’ve ever wanted the ability to do cool stuff like climb walls, crabwalk down a flight of stairs at superhuman speed, have instant regenerative abilities, projectile vomit etc, then becoming a host is the way to go.
4. No one will ever mess with you and get away with it.
Can you imagine the satisfaction that would come with being able to give this face to that rude ass conductor throwing attitude up and down because of change (and then possibly eating him afterward)?
5. Gives you the chance to let someone else be in control for a while.
If constantly worrying about life’s uncertainties is stressing you out, willingly hand over control of the vehicle that is your meat suit to a being that’ll most likely destroy every aspect of your life but will keep your physical body intact while you sit, kick back, and relax in your “happy place.”
Well, that’s all of it. I just figured that if you already know the cons, you might as well know the pros.
From Merge Mansions to that one where the pregnant woman gets cheated on and has to either leave or endure by joining her husband’s mistress in shaving his legs, mobile game ads are wild AF. In this week’s #ZikokoSYDHT, we reviewed the most insane ones.
Nigeria’s presidential seat has been the exclusive plaything of one gender throughout the country’s history. But some women are trying to change that in the 2023 presidential election.
Friends and business partners @ajibolagrey and @oli_ekun are each other’s ride or die. On today’s #ZikokoMyBro, they talk about being online friends for a year before meeting, their famous twitter banter and their plan to avoid fighting over money.
We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]
2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:
2020 is almost over, and while we spent most of the year indoors, we are sure that didn’t stop y’all from increasing your body count. So, we’ve created a quiz that knows how many people you slept with this year. Take to find out:
Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.
After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:
A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]
Nobody will pass off a chance to win an all-expense-paid trip to KENYA with the winner of Nigerian Idol Season 7. So if you are still thinking, dreaming, waiting, or thinking you have enough time, then you are wasting time because this promo is ending on the 7th of June. Do we have your attention? Here’s […]
Feel like you’ve run out of interesting places to hangout or visit? We’ve got you. Iba Ajie is a new spot we highly recommend if you are looking to explore places in the Eastern part of Nigeria. If you’re wondering what makes this spot special, here are 5 reasons. 1. There is a Chophouse Yes, […]
Nigeria’s President, Muhammadu Buhari opened 2021 with a national address to Nigerians. We know you did not watch it, so here are seven things Buhari said in his address.
Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]
Nigeria is a shitty place for those who live here, many seek an escape route. But, amid the insecurities, bad economy, and the uncaring government, some things happened this year that make us feel thankful. Yeah, we know, hard to believe right? Yet we need to end the year on a positive note, so here are some […]
We got an expert mixologist to help us bring one of our sponsored VRSUS videos to life by mixing varieties of chapman. Little did we know she was also a chef until we got in a conversation with her, while sipping our sublime drinks; no they were not spiked. Apparently, Yetunde Anikulapo Kuti, professionally known […]
Nigerians are yet to come to terms with the fact that cats can be pets but now have to deal with the fact that someone thinks a lion is tame enough to have as a security guard. Reports now confirm that a two-year-old lion was discovered in a residential building in the Victoria Island area […]
The 8th edition of the popular beach soccer tournament, Copa Lagos held throughout the weekend at Eko Atlantic, VI. It had us loving the opportunity to immerse ourselves in enjoyment. You should know by now that we can’t pass up a chance to get the ultimate weekend experience. And you know the fun part? We […]
I have always heard stories about how one has got to be sharp if you are walking on the streets of Lagos so you don’t end up saying, “Had I known,” to your friends and family while crying tears of blood. Oftentimes, I laughed it off, because who could be sharper than someone born in […]
In case you went under the rock this weekend then you MISSED. There was a lot of excitement for our Nigerian superstar musicians and the spotlight was on them, big time. From the much anticipated Headies award, to the birth of Davido’s son, Naira Marley’s legwork and his subtle shade at the organizers of the […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.