5 Good Things That Happen When You’re Possessed

November 13, 2018
I was watching an Igbo language parody of the movie “Venom” done by @thelegendsshow guys on Instagram, and at some point, someone referred to Venom as  an “evil spirit with muscles.” This really got me thinking because that’s pretty much what Venom is.

Venom: The Ayamatangah of the Marvel universe.

It also got me thinking of all the demonic possession horror movies and tv shows I’ve seen (The Conjuring, The Exorcist, Smallville etc) and how the makers went out of their way to show how much possession sucks. (Hint: A lot.) However, what they never show are the upsides. That’s why I’m here today.

1. The best kind of companionship.

Are you tired of being lonely? Summon a demon today and offer yourself as a vessel to get round the clock companionship from an entity that actually wants to be around (in) you. Because when something needs you to survive, you can be sure it’ll never leave.

2. All that knowledge

You ever notice in horror movies how a family’s illiterate housemaid gets possessed and starts speaking in different languages (Greek, Latin, etc.) she couldn’t possibly have learned? That’s because foreign entities looking for hosts come with millennia worth of knowledge (and tea). Imagine how much easier school would’ve been if you’d had your own pet demon whispering the answers to those Maths exams in your ear.

3. The cool super powers

I don’t know about you guys but my first thought after watching The Exorcist (1973) was how cool it would be if I could dramatically levitate out of bed every morning. (Preferably, while an old priest tried to compel me with the power of Christ and holy water.)  If you’ve ever wanted the ability to do cool stuff like climb walls, crabwalk down a flight of stairs at superhuman speed, have instant regenerative abilities, projectile vomit etc, then becoming a host is the way to go.

4. No one will ever mess with you and get away with it.

Can you imagine the satisfaction that would come with being able to give this face to that rude ass conductor throwing attitude up and down because of change (and then possibly eating him afterward)?

5. Gives you the chance to let someone else be in control for a while.

If constantly worrying about life’s uncertainties is stressing you out, willingly hand over control of the vehicle that is your meat suit to a being that’ll most likely destroy every aspect of your life but will keep your physical body intact while you sit, kick back, and relax in your “happy place.”

Well, that’s all of it. I just figured that if you already know the cons, you might as well know the pros. 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

More from Gist

October 29, 2022

Life for adults is tough but life for babies is soft. Here are 9 reasons why we think babies live better lives than adults. They don’t pay rent  Babies live rent-free. Imagine not having to pay your own rent at the end of each year/month. Must be nice.  They always get what they want All […]

October 18, 2022

People who spend ₦50k at restaurants If you’re one of those people that spend ₦50k on cocktails and pasta, be aware that you’re spending someone’s take home salary. RELATED: 5 Nigerians Reveal Their Best Experience At Nigerian Restaurants People who have never had to cook with a boiling ring If this is you, it means […]

May 20, 2022

Nobody will pass off a chance to win an all-expense-paid trip to KENYA with the winner of Nigerian Idol Season 7. So if you are still thinking, dreaming, waiting, or thinking you have enough time, then you are wasting time because this promo is ending on the 7th of June. Do we have your attention? Here’s […]

April 20, 2021

Feel like you’ve run out of interesting places to hangout or visit? We’ve got you. Iba Ajie is a new spot we highly recommend if you are looking to explore places in the Eastern part of Nigeria. If you’re wondering what makes this spot special, here are 5 reasons. 1. There is a Chophouse Yes, […]

August 11, 2020

Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]

December 19, 2019

Nigeria is a shitty place for those who live here, many seek an escape route. But, amid the insecurities, bad economy, and the uncaring government, some things happened this year that make us feel thankful. Yeah, we know, hard to believe right? Yet we need to end the year on a positive note, so here are some […]

November 18, 2019

Nigerians are yet to come to terms with the fact that cats can be pets but now have to deal with the fact that someone thinks a lion is tame enough to have as a security guard. Reports now confirm that a two-year-old lion was discovered in a residential building in the Victoria Island area […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X