5 Good Things That Happen When You’re Possessed

November 13, 2018
I was watching an Igbo language parody of the movie “Venom” done by @thelegendsshow guys on Instagram, and at some point, someone referred to Venom as  an “evil spirit with muscles.” This really got me thinking because that’s pretty much what Venom is.

Venom: The Ayamatangah of the Marvel universe.

It also got me thinking of all the demonic possession horror movies and tv shows I’ve seen (The Conjuring, The Exorcist, Smallville etc) and how the makers went out of their way to show how much possession sucks. (Hint: A lot.) However, what they never show are the upsides. That’s why I’m here today.

1. The best kind of companionship.

Are you tired of being lonely? Summon a demon today and offer yourself as a vessel to get round the clock companionship from an entity that actually wants to be around (in) you. Because when something needs you to survive, you can be sure it’ll never leave.

2. All that knowledge

You ever notice in horror movies how a family’s illiterate housemaid gets possessed and starts speaking in different languages (Greek, Latin, etc.) she couldn’t possibly have learned? That’s because foreign entities looking for hosts come with millennia worth of knowledge (and tea). Imagine how much easier school would’ve been if you’d had your own pet demon whispering the answers to those Maths exams in your ear.

3. The cool super powers

I don’t know about you guys but my first thought after watching The Exorcist (1973) was how cool it would be if I could dramatically levitate out of bed every morning. (Preferably, while an old priest tried to compel me with the power of Christ and holy water.)  If you’ve ever wanted the ability to do cool stuff like climb walls, crabwalk down a flight of stairs at superhuman speed, have instant regenerative abilities, projectile vomit etc, then becoming a host is the way to go.

4. No one will ever mess with you and get away with it.

Can you imagine the satisfaction that would come with being able to give this face to that rude ass conductor throwing attitude up and down because of change (and then possibly eating him afterward)?

5. Gives you the chance to let someone else be in control for a while.

If constantly worrying about life’s uncertainties is stressing you out, willingly hand over control of the vehicle that is your meat suit to a being that’ll most likely destroy every aspect of your life but will keep your physical body intact while you sit, kick back, and relax in your “happy place.”

Well, that’s all of it. I just figured that if you already know the cons, you might as well know the pros. 

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