If there’s one thing Nigerians love, it’s sending wishes and greetings for everything. New month? Wishes. New week? Wishes.

We’re not saying sending greetings for a prominent event like Easter is bad, though. We’re just tired of seeing these particular ones.

Anything containing “arose/arosen”

Every Easter, the evil spirit behind typos increases its work rate and suspends everyone’s autocorrect. So for everyone’s safety, let’s just agree to stay away from the verb, “rise”. 

“He has paid your debt”

If you decide to use “He” instead of “Jesus”, then my assumption that you’re referring to someone paying off my literal debt is on you. Emewiele has turned us all into money hunters. Don’t play.

“Death could not hold Christ down, so nothing will hold you down”

Please, only send this to people who’ve japa. Because plenty of things are holding us down in this Nigeria. Don’t remind us of our pain on such a joyful day.

Anything that references “Easter eggs”

Shade, did your mummy take you to Sunday school every week for you to grow up and start talking about Easter eggs? Please, keep that western nonsense out of this ethnic household. Also, bunnies are mammals, so the whole thing is definitely sus.

“Have a wonderful celebration”

Maybe it’s just me, but when I hear “celebration”, I immediately think “outside activities”. With which cash, dear?

“Wishing you renewed hope this season”

Renewed hope sounds suspiciously similar to a certain Baba Blue’s campaign slogan. It’s giving PTSD.

Anything that involves billing

Easter is a time for sober reflection, please. And no, it’s not just because there’s no money anywhere. 

NEXT READ: 9 Things Every Nigerian Would Do if They Could Time Travel

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.